What Do You Say When Someone’s Father Dies?

DreamImages/Blend Pictures/Getty Images

When someone’s father dies, direct yet genuine condolences, such as “I am truly sorry for your loss” or “I am available if you need support,” can comfort the person who is grieving. It’s also suitable to give a hug and simply say “I’m sorry.”

The grieving process is different for everyone and can have extreme highs and lows. If the grieving person wants to talk about the loss, allow him to express whatever emotions arise without trying to redirect the conversation. Share special memories of the deceased person when appropriate, or listen to the bereaved as he shares a favorite story about his loved one. Sometimes the bereaved individual does not want to talk about the loss. A simple gesture of affection, such as a warm hug or simply placing an arm around the person’s shoulders, is often appreciated.

Avoid using religious language. While well-intentioned, assertions like “Your dad is in a better place” or “He died because God decided it was time to take him to Heaven” might make the grieving person angry and defensive. The individual may also feel offended if he or she is not a religious person or adheres to a different belief system. Above all, make sure that the bereaved feels safe and accepted regardless of how the pain manifests itself.

ADVERTISEMENT