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Some funny movie phrases include "Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue," from Airplane, and "Bless this O Lord, thy hand grenade," from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." Phrases like these are memorable because they are often the most famous lines f...


Cleaning phrases include "spic and span," "clean as a whistle, "spruce up" and "clean enough to eat off the floor." The origins of some of these terms date back hundreds of years, and their usages have evolved since that time.


One funny phrase to use when answering the phone is, "Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it, how may I help you?" This phrase uses word play and rhyming while incorporating a bit of classic shock value and nonsense. Another comical phrase might be, "Hello, caller, you...


Some funny, clean jokes include jokes about whether your cat wants to kill you: "When a cat kneads your stomach, it's not a sign of affection. He's actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses. When he digs in his litter box, that's practice for burying your de...


Some funny phrases to put on car wash signs include, "Cleaning up this town, one car at a time," "If your car is not becoming to you, you should be coming to us," and "You like it clean, we like it dirty." The humor used on a car wash sign may come from wordplay such as...


One clean, funny joke that is not a practical joke is just a single sentence: "A skeleton walks into a bar and says, 'Give me a shot -- and a mop.'" This joke comes from jokes.cc.com


Clean humorous stories and jokes are available from GreatCleanJokes.com, Guy-Sports.com and AllCleanHumor.com. These websites each offer humorous short stories and jokes about a wide range of subject matter.