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What are some funny physics jokes?

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Quick Answer

There are many physics jokes, such as the atoms and electron anecdote. Two atoms bump into each other. One says, "I have lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

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Full Answer

One joke involves noncommutative quantum field theory. In his class, physicist Richard Feynman was talking about angular momentum. He described rotation matrices and mentioned that they didn't commute. He said that Sir William Hamilton discovered noncommutativity one night when he was taking a walk in his garden with Lady Hamilton. As they sat down on a bench, there was a moment of passion. It was then that he discovered that AB did not equal BA.

In another joke, a neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge.?

Another joke is about two theoretical physicists who are lost at the top of a mountain. One of them looks at a map and peruses it for a while. Then he turns to the other and says, "Hey; I have it. I know where we are." "Where are we, then?" "Do you see that mountain there?" "Yes." ?That is where we are."

Some physics jokes may involve a lengthy humorous tale, such as this one about a group of wealthy investors who want to be able to predict the outcome of a horse race. They hire a group of biologists, a group of statisticians and a group of physicists. Each group is given a year to research the issue. After a year, the groups all report to the investors. The biologists say that they can genetically engineer an unbeatable racehorse, but it will take 200 years and $100 billion. The statisticians report next. They say that they can predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of $100 million per race, and they will only be right 10 percent of the time. Finally, the physicists report that they can also predict the outcome of any race and that their process is cheap and simple. The investors listen eagerly to this proposal. The head physicist reports, "We have made several simplifying assumptions: first, let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere? "

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