To remove fabric softener stains from clothes, soak the stain in warm water, rub with a bar of soap, dishwashing liquid or shampoo, then launder the item normally without adding fabric softener. Avoid drying the item with heat until the stain is gone, since heat can set the stain.
To avoid staining clothes with fabric softener, use a dispenser rather than adding it directly. If it is necessary to add it directly, dilute it with water first. When using a fabric softener sheet in the dryer, place it on top of the clothes rather than under them, and start the dryer immediately. White vinegar acts as a good substitute for liquid fabric softener with less risk of staining.