What are some good jokes for wedding speeches?


Quick Answer

Jokes for wedding speeches include a joke that marriage is the chief cause of divorce and that marriage brings a new name and a new dress. Other funny wedding jokes include references to marriage's difficulties, that spouses often don't listen to their partners and the cost of hosting a wedding.

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Full Answer

A person giving a speech at a wedding might joke about how divorce would not exist without marriage or joke that marriage is made in heaven just like thunder and lightning. Other speakers like to joke that without marriage, men go through life thinking they don't have any faults. Even Socrates advocated marriage, joking that a good wife brings happiness while a bad wife makes a man a philosopher.

In another funny wedding joke that references marriage's difficulties, a man tells a story of a previous wedding he attended. At the wedding, the person giving the toast told all of the men to go stand next to the person that makes their life worth living. At this point, the men crushed the bartender to death. Alternatively, the father of the bride might offer a joke that a wedding brings his daughter a new last name, but it brings the father a new stack of bills to pay.

Many jokes for a wedding toast focus on communication between the spouses. The spouse might say, "My husband says I never listen, or something like that." Or, a man might joke that he hasn't spoken to his wife in 18 months because he doesn't care to interrupt her. He might also ask, "If a man speaks in a forest and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?" Additionally, a man might offer that a shotgun marriage is a case of wife or death.

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