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What are funny Christmas card sayings?

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A popular funny Christmas card saying is "Merry Christmas! Know what the best thing about this card is? It's not a fruitcake!" Another is "Don’t you just hate the blatant materialism of Christmas? Aren’t you eager to find out what you got?"

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What are funny Christmas card sayings?
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Other funny Christmas card sayings include: "Why should you teach your kids Christmas carols? They can’t sing and beg for toys simultaneously," "When I was a child I discovered that my parents were Santa. I still have no clue how they made it to all the homes in one night" and "This Christmas, practice 'defensive shopping.' Don’t go to the mall after December 20th."

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