What Are Some Examples of Humorous Retirement Speeches?

"Albert's Leaving Presentation" and "Another Funny Retirement Story" are examples of humorous retirement speeches. Another humorous retirement speech talks about helpful text codes for seniors.

In "Albert's Leaving Presentation," co-workers tell the story of a man from the company who reaches his retirement date. Co-workers tell stories about how the man never knew the word "impossible" during his years of work. They also say that the man doesn't know the word "no" and that he doesn't know what a lunch break is. The co-workers then joke that they pooled their resources to buy the man a dictionary for his retirement.

Similarly, "Another Funny Retirement Story" tells the story of a man who retires and then applies for another job. The man gives funny answers to the employer's questions, such as responding that he wants to be the CEO but that he is willing to take whatever is available. When the employer asks about the man's last position, the man answers that his previous employment was as a target for middle management hostility. The employer asks about the man's previous salary and he says that his former employer paid him less than he is worth.

Another humorous retirement speech explains text codes that a retiree needs to know for successful communication during retirement. For example, if the retiree texts "IMHO," he means to ask, "Is my hearing aid on?" Alternatively, if he texts "GGPBL," he means "Gotta go, pacemaker battery low" and if he writes "CUATSC," he means "See you at the senior center."