A sympathizer should say sorry for someone's death in a manner that provides comfort and shares the feelings of the grieving person. Condolences can work written in a letter or expressed through actions, such as sending flowers, offering help and giving food.
The right words of condolence depend on the grieving person's personality and mood. The words don't have to be intricate and fluent as long as they are spoken from the heart. When no appropriate words come to mind, saying a simple apology for the loss is enough. Avoid potentially offensive remarks, such as an explanation of the death, discussion of inheritance and ill-timed humor.
When expressing condolences in written form, write the message by hand. Store-bought cards and printed messages don't have the same emotional impact as handwritten letters. In addition to acknowledging the loss and expressing sympathy, the letter may recount the good traits of the deceased and offer help. Reminiscing a great memory of the deceased adds further value to the condolence letter.
Actions that express condolence include sending flowers and giving food to the surviving family. Offering a hug and holding hands are appropriate if the sympathizer has a deep relationship with the bereaved. Simply being there, helping with work or delivering groceries shows concern and provides support.