Short, clean Irish jokes include, "Do you understand German? "To be sure, I do if it's spoken in Irish." Another one is, "What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? One less drunk."
A short list of Irish jokes that are appropriate for many situations includes the following:
- An Irish customer said to the clerk, "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?" The clerk replied, "I prefer you use the dressing room."
- A man named O'Gara was arrested and tried for a bank robbery. After the trial, the jury returned a verdict of not guilty. O'Gara stood up and shouted, "Does that mean I get to keep the money?"
- "The baby is just like his father," said Pauline McDonald. "But at least he's got his health."
- Two Irishmen named Pat and Murphy say a sign saying, "Tree Fellers Wanted." Murphy said to Pat, "If only Seamus had been with us, we'd have got that job."
- "O'Halloran," asked the pharmacist, "did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife's appearance?" O'Hallaran replied, "It sure did, but it keeps falling off."
- The doctor was puzzled and said, "I'm sorry, Mr. O'Flannery, but I can't diagnose your trouble. It must be drink." "Don't worry about it Dr. Cullen,' said O'Flaherty. I'll come back when you're sober."