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What are some popular jokes by Larry the Cable Guy?

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One popular joke from Larry the Cable Guy is, "I'm on that diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license." Larry the Cable Guy is known for his politically incorrect brand of humor, as can be seen here: "I was madder then a deaf-mute playing Bingo, getting Bingo, and trying to holler out Bingo, I tell ya."

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Some other humor from Larry can be seen in jokes like this, "I was seeing this girl for about six weeks, until someone took my binoculars." Here's another, "My brother got eliminated from the spelling bee. Apparently, there ain't no number eight in the word 'pollinate.'"

Here's another popular line from one of his performances: "I went out with this one girl, and she scared me. One day she says to me, 'Soon you're gonna hear the pitter-patter of little feet!' and I'm thinking, 'Oh Lord, she's pregnant...' She ended up leavin' me for a midget." One other joke from Larry is, "This guy goes to his doctor one day, and the doctor says, 'I have bad news and worse news.' He says, 'What's the bad news?' The doctor says, 'You got 24 hours to live.' He says, 'What's the worse news?' Doctor says, 'I forgot to call you yesterday.'"

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