What Are Some One-Liner Retirement Jokes?


Quick Answer

One-liner jokes such as "twice the husband for half the income" poke fun at how much retirees are around now that they're not working. Stating that retirement has cured businessmen's ulcers while giving their wives one is another example.

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What Are Some One-Liner Retirement Jokes?
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Full Answer

Some retirement jokes poke fun at how little the retiree worked while still employed. For instance, coworkers can point out it'll be hard to tell the difference between work life and retirement for the retiree. Another observation is, "When you see some people work, you wonder what they will do when they retire."

There are also some quotes from famous people that serve as funny one-liners about retirement. For example, Gene Perret observes that retirement is wonderful because people don't worry about getting caught doing nothing. George Burns quipped that he was never going to retire and instead stay in show business until he was the only one left.

Some jokes point out the unfairness of mandatory retirement. For instance, one joke observes that mandatory retirement means stepping aside for a less-experienced and less competent candidate. Another quip says that when a retiree is no longer needed, his colleagues present him with a watch.

Many jokes celebrate the freedom of retirement. Irish pool player Danny McGoorty stated that he didn't like working because it was an invasion of his privacy. Another observation is that every day is Saturday during retirement.

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