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What are some funny, short religious jokes?

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Quick Answer

Some funny, short religious jokes are "God, May I Have a Penny?," "The Pastor and the Fish" and "The Preacher Who Couldn't Swim." Religious jokes poke fun at the clergy, the faithful or their way of life.

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Full Answer

In "God, May I Have a Penny," a man asks God, "How long is a million years?" God replies, "About a minute to me." The man asks again, "God, how much is a million dollars?" to which God replies, "About a penny to me." The man asks, "God, can I have a penny?" to which God replies, "In a minute."

In "The Pastor and the Fish," a pastor buys fish from a boy who shouts, "Buy my dam fish." The pastor asks, "Why do you call them dam fish?" to which the boy replies, "Because I caught them at the local dam." Over dinner, the pastor asks his son to pass the "dam fish," to which his son responds, "That's the spirit, Pops! Pass me the stupid potatoes."

In "The Preacher Who Couldn't Swim," a preacher who couldn't swim falls into the ocean. A boat passes and its captain yells at him, "Let me save you, sir," to which the preacher calmly replies, "No, God will save me." Another boat passes and again its captain offers help, but the preacher similarly refuses, saying that God will save him. The preacher eventually drowns and goes to heaven. He asks God, "Why didn't you save me?" to which God replies, "I sent two boats, you idiot!"

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