What Are Some Funny Clean Jokes?


Quick Answer

Some funny, clean jokes include jokes about whether your cat wants to kill you: "When a cat kneads your stomach, it's not a sign of affection. He's actually checking your internal organs for weaknesses. When he digs in his litter box, that's practice for burying your dead body."

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What Are Some Funny Clean Jokes?
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Full Answer

Another joke concerns a dog who sees a sign that reads, "Help wanted. Must be bilingual, computer literate and able to type 70 words per minute." The dog tears the sign down with his teeth and presents it to the office manager, who insists, "I can't hire a dog!" The dog demonstrates his typing ability and computer literacy, but the manager says, "I can't hire you. You're not bilingual." The dog looks at the man with a confident smirk and replies, "Meow."

A third funny joke involves a woman who has stayed by her husband's bedside while he's been in a coma. One day the man regains consciousness, and he whispers to his wife, "You've been with me through all the tough times. When I got fired and my business went under and we lost the house, you stuck by me. You were there when I got shot and my health began failing. You know what?"

"What is it, dear?" she asks.

Her husband replies, "I think you're bad luck!"

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