Some funny 70th birthday jokes are a joke about a woman's age and her dress size and a joke about a man buying his wife decks of cards for her birthday because the cards contain a lot of diamonds. Another joke tells the story of a man that buys his wife perfume for her 70th birthday as a way to surprise her because she is expecting him to give her a diamond necklace.
In the joke about the woman's age and dress size, a woman turning 70 tells her husband that she wants to be six again. To fulfill her wish, the man takes her to an amusement park and she rides all the rides until she is dizzy. Then the two go to a movie and eat popcorn. They also eat fries and drink soda. At the end of the day, the man asks his wife if she liked being six again. The woman replies that she doesn't want to be six years old. She only wants to wear a size six dress.
Another 70th birthday joke tells the story of a man buying a birthday gift for his wife. The man runs into a friend at the store, and the friend asks what the man bought. The man replies that it is his wife's 70th birthday. Because the wife wants something with lots of diamonds in it, the man bought her two decks of cards.
In one 70th birthday joke, a man goes to the story and asks an employee for a bottle of perfume. The employee responds that perfume is a nice surprise for a woman for her 70th birthday. The man responds that he expects to surprise the woman with the perfume because the woman is expecting to receive a diamond necklace.