Father-of-the-groom jokes include the father telling the groom to think twice before reporting a stolen credit card because the thief is likely to spend less money than his wife would. These jokes should be witty and should avoid any vulgarity.
Another humorous father of the groom joke is for the father to mention he is more nervous giving the speech than he was when he got married, and that this is because he knows exactly what his son is getting into by getting married.
The father may also frame the joke as serious advice, such as telling his son that anytime his wife asks how a dress or other clothing looks, he must tell her that it looks great. If he does not, the father says, then he and the couch are going to become good friends.
Sometimes, the jokes play on conventional wisdom or phrases. One example is the father telling his son that every day of marriage is an adventure, just as if he was going to war. However, the father continues, marriage is the only war in which sleeping with the enemy is acceptable.
Some jokes address the bride instead. One example is the father thanking the bride for taking his son off of his hands, stating that now she can handle the son's huge food bill, picking up after him and seeing his grumpy face in the morning.