Some funny birthday jokes include these one-liners: "You can tell you're getting old when you go to an antique auction and people start bidding on you," "Did you know that birthdays in heaven are celebrated with angel food cake?" and "One candle said to another: 'Don't birthdays burn you up?'"
A woman interviewed on her 100th birthday revealed the reason she had lived so long: "I guess it's because I was born a very long time ago." Baseball player Casey Stengel said, "I'll never make the mistake of being 70 again." Bob Hope once remarked, "You know you're getting old when you chase women, but only downhill."
Soupy Sales told a story about a salesman passing through a Texas town. He saw a little old man on a front porch, sitting in a rocking chair. The salesman stopped to talk awhile and said to the little old man, "You look like you don't have a care in the world. What's your secret?"
The little old man replied, "I smoke six packs of cigarettes a day and drink a quart of bourbon every four hours, along with six cases of beer a week. I go out every night, and I don't go to bed until four in the morning."
The salesman said, "Wow, that's great. How old are you, anyway?"
The little man replied, "22."