One blond joke is as follows: "May I take your order?" the blonde waitress asks. "Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" asks the customer. "Nothing special sir," she replies. "We just tell them straight out they're going to die."
10 blondes and a brunette are hanging onto a rope that is dangling from an airplane. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll go." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping.
A brunette goes to her doctor and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," he says. "Show me." She presses her finger on her elbow and screams in agony, then pushes her knee and screams, then her ankle, and so on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor asks her if she's really a brunette. She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "Thought so," he says. "Your finger's broken."
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients complain they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?"
Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?"
Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."