When a wife tells her husband, "I love you, but I am not in love with you," concern about an affair is legitimate. Other signs include a sudden desire for increased privacy, a new friend that garners a lot of attention, a request for more space, a change in work habits and excessive time spent on the computer. Secretive phone calls, unexplained behavior and a sense of something not right are also indicators.
One of the most consistent flags that a woman is having an affair occurs when she expresses a deep love for her husband, yet has lost sight of the feeling of being in love. Despite years of building intimacy, the increased hormones resulting from passion can override the longer-lasting bond and cloud a person's mind, making her forget her true feelings.
A woman cheating on her husband often claims that a new friendship is platonic. Often, a woman having an affair feels that the new person in her life understands her more, and as a result, she desires more time with the person.
A cheating spouse may begin insisting on privacy for things that had previously been shared, such as computer passwords, bills and credit card statements. When her husband brings up the concern, a woman often accuses her partner of being controlling or snooping, even though the couple has a history of exchanging the information freely.