Three useful websites that provide checklists for identifying verbal abuse are Abuse-Against-Women.com, HelpGuide.org and Oprah.com. Each of these sites provides different types of checklists that revolve around personal feelings and things that a partner says or does that may be abusive.
Abuse-Against-Women.com provides an Abusive Behavior Checklist that first covers verbal abuse in the form of things a partner says and the feelings they evoke. HelpGuide.org posts a question-based checklist called Signs of an Abusive Relationship that helps deduce whether the things a partner says are abusive and whether the feelings expressed in a relationship may be warning signs of verbal abuse.
Oprah.com provides a checklist called Seven Signs You're in a Verbally Abusive Relationship, which includes specific thoughts and feelings that signify verbal abuse.