Q:

What are some examples of ineffective communication for couples?

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Quick Answer

Examples of ineffective communication for couples include arguing while angry, arguing about multiple issues at one time and using too much accusatory language towards the other person. Similarly, universal statements that call the partner names also leads to a breakdown in effective communication, as can indirect and unclear communication.

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Full Answer

Couples often make the mistake of arguing when they are emotional, busy or upset. It's also ineffective to argue about more than one issue at a time. A couple cannot make progress resolving an issue if the conversation devolves into other arguments. It is also ineffective to bring up past fights and disagreements, because then the conversation wanders into other areas of disagreement.

When a person uses too many accusatory words towards his partner, it alienates the partner on an emotional level. These statements either tell a person what to do or they accuse the partner of possessing an unwanted trait or characteristic. This type of communication makes the partner defensive and closes them off from peaceful resolution of the issue at hand.

Accusing the partner of always behaving in a certain way makes a person feel worse instead of open to thinking of ways to make the relationship better. These types of universal statements also lend themselves to defensive counterexamples and arguing about specifics of the accused behavior. On the other hand, failing to state specifics of the instant problem is another way to communicate ineffectively. A partner should not spend his time focused on the person and the person's inadequacies. Instead, he should focus only on the problems at hand.

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