To make Paula Deen's coconut cake, preheat the oven to 350 degrees, and then butter and flour three 9-inch round cake pans. This recipe also requires a standing electric mixer.
Cream together a cup of butter and 2 cups of sugar with the paddle attachment on the mixer for about 7 minutes, and add four eggs, one at a time. Add 3 cups of flour and a cup of coconut milk a bit at a time, ending and beginning with the flour. Also add 2 teaspoons of vanilla. Divide the batter between the cake pans, and bake them for 25 minutes. Cool on a wire rack for about 10 minutes, and then remove from the pans and allow to cool completely.
To make the frosting, beat together two 8-ounce packages of cream cheese and 1/2 cup of butter. Slowly add 2 cups of confectioner's sugar, 1/2 cup of sweetened cream of coconut and 1 1/2 teaspoons of vanilla. To make the filling, mix a cup of sour cream, 3/4 cup of sugar, 1/4 cup of whole milk and 1/2 cup of sweetened coconut flakes.
When the cake layers are cool, spread 1/3 of the filling over the first cake, and then top it with the second. Spread another 1/3 of the filling over the next layer, top it with the third cake, and then top with the remaining filling. Frost the top and the sides of the cake with the frosting, and sprinkle the top and side with coconut flakes.