Changing a family structure is hard work and takes time. Do not expect perfection from yourself or your family members. Be honest with each other about what needs to change, and avoid criticizing one another, as this can cause further problems. Work on the list you and your family create, and be patient with the process, which can take days, weeks or months depending on the desired changes.
- Talk to your family
Admitting that there is a problem is crucial to changing the structure of your family. Express to your family that you want to make some changes. Let them know that you are not criticizing them. Instead, let them know that making a few changes is necessary.
- Make a list
Make a list of the things in your family that you think need to change. Ask your family members to contribute.
- List replacement behaviors
After determining what you and your family think needs to change, make a list with positive alternate behaviors and structures that can replace the behaviors and structures that need to be eliminated.
- Put the list into action
Decide with your family the trait or structure to work on first. Practice changing that trait until it is natural to you and your family. Once everyone does well with that change, move on to the next one.