How Can I Persuade My 21-Year-Old Son to Move Out?


Quick Answer

To get a full-grown child to move out, the parent should explain the importance of learning independence and how living there directly affects the parent. Having an adult son or daughter living at home is counterproductive to the child becoming self-sufficient, and it places a strain on the parent. Reassure him that he is not being cast out and can ask for help when needed.

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Full Answer

By having an adult child at home, the parent experiences a loss of privacy and endures the financial burden of additional expenses. Living independently may help the child have a productive, fulfilling and healthy life. In some cases, the child may need a little push in the right direction. Illuminate the drawbacks of living at home. Vacuuming while the child watches television may remind him of the importance of having his own space. More subtle ways include charging him rent, restricting the number of people who can visit and enforcing house chores. Have a policy for everything from overnight guests to sharing the television and the house computer.

A supportive approach consists of jointly looking for a potential place for him to live, budgeting and providing financial aid if necessary. However, do not baby an adult child. The child has to develop and execute a plan moving him towards independence, and the parent should only provide guidance.

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