According to the Huffington Post, there are several important steps to take in order to become an acceptable stepmom. Among the most important are attempting to maintain a positive relationship with the children's mother, being available to the children and realizing that the role of a stepmother is often extremely unappreciated.
First and foremost, it's vital to cultivate a civil, or even friendly, relationship with the children's mother. A stepmom is typically the most glaring reminder that a child's parents will likely never reconcile, so it's important for new stepmothers to present themselves as an ally to the children's mother, not an enemy. This means making an effort to befriend the former wife, even if it's difficult. It also means speaking positively about the ex-wife around the children, and never taking sides against her, regardless of her behavior. New stepmoms also need to be available to children without being overbearing. It often takes children a while to warm up to new stepparents, and it's important that stepmoms not try to rush the relationship. Let the children work through the feelings and they'll come around when they're ready – even if it takes years. Finally, stepmoms have to realize that their role is often a thankless one. Even when kids are rude, stepmoms should remember that their patience and goodwill will likely pay off in a successful relationship in the future.