What Are Some Funny Toasts?


Quick Answer

A good toast for old friends is, "Here's to those who've seen us at our best and seen us at our worst and can't tell the difference." When in mixed company an appropriate toast is, "May our sons and daughters have rich fathers and beautiful mothers."

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What Are Some Funny Toasts?
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Full Answer

When making a funny toast, it is important to remember that there is a fine line between hilarity and offense. The best-received toasts ride as close to that line as possible without crossing it. The key is to know the audience and choose a toast appropriate to their sensibilities and the event.

Some good neutral toasts to use are, "May we get what we want, may we get what we need, but may we never get what we deserve" and "Out with the old in with the new cheers to the future and all that we do." For a bawdy birthday toast, "Here’s to birthdays. Birthdays only come once a year. Aren't we glad we’re not birthdays?" Making a toast before a night of drinking is common; for example, "Drinkers, start your livers!" and "Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life. So let's get wasted and have the time of our life!"

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