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What are some funny sayings from fortune cookies?

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Quick Answer

A funny fortune penned by Ray Richmond, owner of Super Accurate Fortune Cookies reads, ?We will still need you and feed you when you?re 64, but all bets are off at 65." "Somebody just died. Quick, grab their apartment!" is one of Richmond's New York offerings.

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What are some funny sayings from fortune cookies?
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Full Answer

Richmond creates fortune cookie collections geared to major cities. "You can't drive today. In fact, you can't do anything. It's raining," is part of the Los Angeles collection.

Many people find a fortune that says, ?Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life," funny. "You got the wrong cookie" or, "Ignore previous cookie," could also evoke a smile or chuckle.

Humor is subjective, and what some people laugh at, others find offensive. A Texas-based company sells ?Misfortune? cookies and warns customers the fortunes are not suitable for children and sometimes contain profanity. Some people consider the fortunes quite offensive. ?You will die alone and poorly dressed,? and, ?You are unattractive and secretly laughed at by co-workers,? are two of the dubiously funny fortunes the family-owned novelty business offers.

The inoffensive fortunes, ?Run,? and, ?The rubber bands are heading in the right direction,? may or may not be funny but could evoke a mild, if unintended, sense of concern in the reader.

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