Inspirational-Quotes-and-Quotations.com has a list of top ten funny retirement quotes; the top one is "Retired is being tired twice, I’ve thought, first tired of working, then tired of not," by Richard Armour. "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples," by George Burns is second.
Other funny quotes from this list are: "The trouble with retirement is you never get a day off," by Abe Lemonsbr and "Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it," by Gene Perret.
Another website that provides a list of funny retirement quotes is Find-the-Words.com. An example of a funny quote from this website is "Retirement must be wonderful. I mean, you can suck in your stomach for only so long," by Burt Reynolds. This website recommends using one of these quotes as an introduction to a retirement speech. Laughter is healing, claims Find-the-Words.com, and it can help alleviate the feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed.
Wish-Messages.com offers funny retirement quotes for use in cards and other retirement messages. An example of a quote from this website is "Retirement is the only thing that will make you realize how you wasted all these years trying to be mature when you can get back to being a child at the end of it all."