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What are some funny and clean Joel Osteen jokes?

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Quick Answer

One Joel Osteen joke is about a woman who went on a date with a 92-year-old man. Upon arriving home, she told her daughter she slapped her date three times. The daughter asked if the man got fresh, and the woman responded she slapped him because she thought he died.

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Full Answer

Another one of Pastor Joel Osteen's jokes discusses a parrot who attempts to warn a burglar that Jesus is watching him as he steals from a home. The burglar asks the parrot who he is, and the bird responds that his name is Moses. When the burglar asks the parrot what kind of crazy people named him Moses, the parrot tells him that the same kind of people that named him Moses named their 150-pound dog Jesus.

Osteen incorporates humorous, clean jokes into his sermons at Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas. In 2013, Don Pasco, a Christian writer, published several of Osteen's jokes in a book he titled "Joel Osteen Jokes - Collection of Joel Osteen's Funniest Short, Clean Jokes." However, Lakewood Church never authorized the publication of the book, and the nondenominational megachurch subsequently reviewed the book's content for copyright violations.

Pastor Osteen's wife, Victoria Osteen, serves alongside him as co-pastor of Lakewood Church, as of 2015. Over 43,500 people attend services at the church every week.

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