The Macc Lads
- the self proclaimed "rudest crudest lewdest drunkest band in Christendom" - formed in the late 1970s in Macclesfield
, playing a fusion of punk
and hard rock
. Their career spanned the years 1981 to 1995 and they became notorious for their irreverent and foul mouthed lyrics, political incorrectness
, drinking, sexism
. They managed to offend a great many people and were repeatedly banned from venues and radio stations whilst retaining a die hard fan
They are perhaps best described as the musical equivalent of the Viz comic, sharing many of the same themes (although Splodgenessabounds claimed the same). Indeed an early Viz character Brown Bottle made his first (and thus far only) live appearance in the music video for the song Barrel's Round.
Their song lyrics cover an array of subjects, including beer, sex, chips 'n' gravy, football, fighting, and bodily functions. "Newkie Brown" beer makes an appearance in one song, as does Willies (JW Lees), but Boddingtons is the beer of choice for a true Macc Lad. And according to the Lads' songs, forcing a gay man to drink several pints of Boddingtons will change his sexual orientation. Numerous synonyms for female genitalia, sexual intercourse, and homosexuals have been coined by The Macc Lads throughout the years, which is a great source of pride. However, frontman/bassist Muttley McLad is reported to have said that his proudest achievement is rhyming "George Michael" with "menstrual cycle".
Frontman Muttley usually greeted audiences at the start of an evening with "what the fuck are you lot doing here, is there nowt good on telly tonight?" or "let's hear some swearing!" and the audience usually respond in kind with a series of expletives
- a fine example of all this is of course the Live at Leeds (the who?)
live album. A classic entry was in Middlesbrough one night during the "One Foot In The Gravy Tour", not long after the Cleveland Child Abuse
case was in the news. Muttley arrives on stage and greets the crowd with "What are you lot doing here, shouldn't you be at home shagging your kids?" (This statement has also been attributed to Roy 'Chubby' Bown).
During the band's career they were banned, prevented from entering or kicked out of gigs in various places including but not limited to; Macclesfield, London, Huddersfield, Bury, Cornwall, Blackpool, Colchester, Hull, Newcastle, Cleethorpes, Northampton, Leeds, Wigan, Lincoln, Bolton, Mansfield, Portsmouth, Cheltenham, Norwich and the United States of America.
Various line up changes and The Beater leaving so often that a revolving door was named after him meant that after 1995 with an American Tour (albeit one that they did not get to play any gigs at after Customs and Immigration pulled them all at Heathrow), a German Tour (that they did get to attend) and the release of a new album (Alehouse Rock) and a single (Rockweillers), Muttley decided that he had wasted enough drinking time and pulled the plug.
Their last gig was a private one in 1997 for Muttley's local football team Mary Dendy, in Macclesfield. The line up was Muttley, Winston Dread, Al O'Peesha and Johnny Mard.
The last time the band were together was in 1999 for an interview in the Ivy House pub, Park Lane, Macclesfield for The Bear's Head fan website. The line up present was Stez Styx, The Beater and Muttley. Also present was Al O'Peesha and the interview was conducted by long time fan and Bear's Head site contributor Liquid Goblin.
An appearance on some obscure Cable TV channel in the early noughties was planned with the band booked to perform "Buenos Aries 2003". However Dubya invaded a week too early so the appearance was shelved.
The one constant figure in The Macc Lads is Muttley, occasionally touring solo as The Macc Lad, with various other band members coming and going over the years:
- Muttley McLad - Vocals, bass, lyrics, 1981-1995.
- The Beater - The band's Indian born main lead guitarist, 1981-1986, 1986-1989, 1990-1991, backing vocals, lead vocals on "Boddies", moaning. So-called because he would forever 'beat about the bush'.
- Stez Styx - Drums, guitars and violence. His frequent times in jail led to his eventual permanent sacking.
- Philip "Fast Fret" McCavity - Guitar, backing vocals, 1989-1990. Was thrown out of the band when his drinking was affecting his ability to do gigs. Last heard of was a homeless alcoholic.
- Al O'Peesha - Guitar, baldness, 1991, and (sometimes) guitarist, 1993-1995 and Muttley's closest friend. Played the role of "Newcy Brown" in the video for "The Beer Necessities".
- Cheeky Monkey - Drums 1985-1986.
- Chorley the Hord - Drums 1986–1990, frilly cuffs and knitting. Went on to run a wool shop in Kilmarnock.
- Winston Dread - Drums and Jamaican vibes, 1993-1995
- Uncle Knobby - Worked at Hectic House record shop. Backing vocals, kazoos, last minute guitarist when all other options failed, lead vocals on "Vigilante Shanty" & "Uncle Knobby". Eventually disowned by the band when his sexual perversions (particularly under age girls) proved too much even for the Macc Lads to stomach.
- Binbag - Backing vocals, lead vocals on "Dan's Round Us Andbag", unusual fashion choices.
In a convoluted family tree that would have put Royal Conspiracy Theorists into a headspin, The Macc Lads had two versions of Stez Styx. The BASACAG drummer left in 1986 and was replaced by Chorley the Hord. Chorley was replaced by a new version of Stez in 1990 who was in fact Eddie Shit without the leotard or make up. The original Stez Styx then returned to the fold in 1993 as Johnny Mard on guitar.
- Eh Up (1983) Hectic House
- Beer & Sex & Chips n Gravy (1985) Hectic House
- Bitter, Fit Crack (1987) Hectic House/(1987)FM/(1991)Dojo/(1998)Snapper
- Live at Leeds (the who?) (1988) Dojo
- From Beer to Eternity (1989) Dojo
- The Beer Necessities (1990) Dojo
- Alehouse Rock (1994) Dojo
- One Gallon Demo (1982)
- Minge Pies and Mistletoe (1983)
- Filthy, Fat and Flatulent (1987)
- Sheepless Nights (1988)
- ...And Drinking Partners (1989)
- Bog N Roll Circus (1990)
- Turtles Heads (1991)
- England (2006)
- Dirty CD Chips n Gravy (1989)
- Twenty Golden Crates (1991)
- An Orifice and a Genital (Outtakes 1986-1991) (1993) Dojo
- God's Gift to Women (1998)
- The Lads From Macc (1999)
- Anthology (1999)
Various 'characters' have appeared in Macc Lads songs, including:
- Charlotte (reputedly the biggest slag in Macc)
- Sweaty Betty (who only looks 'fit' after 10 pints)
- Dan (whose bodily functions feature in several songs)
- Miss Macclesfield (who used to be a good down-to-earth Macc lass, but then she won 'Miss Macclesfield' and became too posh)
- Mr Methane (insipid weed who wore a green superhero type costume and acted as support to Macc Lads gigs, his act being his ability to fart. Tried to reinvent his act for BBC Children's TV in 2007 - failed miserably)
- Al O'Peesha (RIP Sep. 2005) (Erstwhile roadie, newsletter writer and occasional 2nd guitarist)
- Bammy (inspiration for Mr Methane, lived in The Nags Head)
Many events and places have been immortalised in Macc Lads song lyrics, such as:
- The Bear's Head pub (now closed) on Mill Street in Macclesfield; this is a Mecca for any Macc Lad worth his mettle
- Blackpool, where the Macc Lads went to see the lights, and to have a fight
- Chester Zoo, where the animals all seem to be performing sexual acts or bodily functions
- Buenos Aires, where unfortunately, no Boddingtons could be found by the poor Lads
- Alton Towers, where the Lads had to queue up for ages to get a beer
According to Macc Lads' songs, life in Macclesfield
generally consists of drinking twenty pints of Boddingtons in the Bears Head, fighting, having sexual encounters with fat and sweaty 'slappers', and eating chips 'n' gravy from Gordon's Takeaway. However, these claims are somewhat unfounded, although few would dispute the Lads' affection for their ale, at the very least.