Dwarfs (Discworld)

Dwarfs in Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels are similar to the Dwarves of J. R. R. Tolkien's Middle-earth, which they largely started out as a homage to, and dwarves in other fantasy novels. They are short, stocky, bearded metal-workers, generally seen wearing chain mail and brandishing axes. However, they have many unique qualities.

Dwarfs originate from the Ramtops and Überwald, but many have moved down to the Sto Plains (Ankh-Morpork is now the largest dwarfish colony on the Disc outside of Überwald).

Incidentally, Pratchett uses the plural "dwarfs", not Tolkien's "dwarves", and "dwarfish" instead of "dwarven".

Biology and psychology

Dwarfs are shorter and stockier than humans, nearly always bearded (with the exception of Count Casanunda and Mad in XXXX), and live to about 300. Despite this, the dividing line between dwarfs and humans seems somewhat blurred, and Pratchett has hinted that humans and dwarfs can interbreed; for example, Nanny Ogg's thick skull is put down to dwarfish ancestry. It may be moot, as Dwarfs see their dwarfishness as a matter of culture rather than genetics or height. Hence, Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson is accepted as a dwarf, despite being a six-and-a-half-foot tall human.

As Tolkien implied of his dwarves, Discworld dwarfs of both sexes have beards. However, while Tolkien stated that female dwarves are rare, and disguise themselves as male when they must travel, female Discworld dwarfs are common, but are traditionally indistinguishable from males at all times. Dwarfs prefer not to spend much time on the subject; the dwarfish language has a gender neutral pronoun, usually rendered as "he" when speaking human languages. Dwarfish courtship is an incredibly tactful affair, primarily concerned with finding out which gender the other dwarf is. Despite the awkwardness that comes of this, it is traditionally considered rude to discuss female dwarfs in conversation.

Most dwarfs are intensely literal-minded, even by Discworld standards, and have absolutely no sense of metaphor or allusion. This is primarily a practical survival trait; as quoted in Guards! Guards!, "Rocks are hard, the darkness is dark. Start messing around with descriptions like that and you're in big trouble." There are exceptions; the greatest playwright on the Discworld is a dwarf named Hwel. Despite their mistrust of outright metaphor, the dwarfs do have a deep love of word association, as long as such associations are direct. For instance, their word for "smelter" is also their word for a police investigator, since the two are said to be performing the same task, separating out the dross to uncover the pure truth beneath. The senior advisor to the Low King is called an "ideas taster," and in their language, if someone "sees the light", he has been blinded by the morals of surface society.

Their scientific or species name (in Latatian) is Hortus decorus (i.e. "lawn ornament").

Culture and society

Dwarfs tend to be miners. They have a natural fascination with minerals (especially iron and gold) and feel more comfortable underground. Their mining has led to a longstanding enmity with trolls, who are made of rock, and have a tendency to remain motionless for long periods, and dislike the fact that when they sleep they can wake up finding themselves as an ornamental fireplace whilst Dwarfs dislike the fact that there is rock that can wrench their arms out when they have found it. The most famous troll/dwarf fight was the Battle of Koom Valley, in which both sides are traditionally said to have ambushed the other, on several occasions, each time shouting "Remember Koom Valley!" The dwarfish board game of Thud commemorates this/these battle(s). The full history of the battle is revealed in Thud!.

A dwarfish community is run by a dezka-knik or chief mining engineer, a title usually loosely translated into Morporkian as "king". All dwarfs owe allegiance to the Low King, (a parody of High King) who is selected by council in the Überwald dwarf city of Schmaltzberg. The current Low King is Rhys Rhysson, son of a small coal-mining clan in Llamedos. He got the job largely because he wasn't from a significant Ramtop or Überwald family (see below). The Low King acts as a final court of appeal in disputes.

The primary weapon other than bread products (see below) in dwarf culture is the axe, which is often used even when the frequently confined spaces of underground tunnels make them impractical. A traditional dwarfish axe is multifunctional; one side is a pickaxe used for prospecting, and the other side is a battle axe used if someone tries to stop them. Axes are so important culturally that dwarfish Ankh-Morpork City Watch members are allowed to use them instead of the regulation swords, and both male and female dwarfs typically carry a (decorative) axe to social functions. Cheery Littlebottom's attempts to feminise this tradition have not been met with great success, at least by human standards.

There is a tendency among dwarfs, who in their native mines are often soft-spoken, filial and respectful, to suddenly transform into beer-swilling, brawling, axe-waving clichés when they go abroad. It's noted that a lot of (that is to say, all of them except "hi-ho") dwarf drinking songs seem to comprise the single word "gold" repeated in singsong. Some dwarfs attempt to project greater machismo by carrying more and larger axes, and wearing heavier and more elaborate armour than standard. This is known as "clang" (a play on bling).

When dwarfs are married, it is customary for the debts to their parents (consisting of all the money spent on them before they married, such as for food and lodgings) to be paid off by their partner. However, it is then common for the new couple's parents to turn around and present them with a wedding gift even larger than the debt, so this may be seen as ceremonial--though still necessary.

Religion

Dwarfish society has no religion, but does have gods "just in case". Their creator god, called Tak, is believed by the dwarfs to have fashioned the three races of the Discworld, Dwarf, Human and Troll, from a geode. Tak is said to have "written the Laws," and "written the world", in that order (in a similar vein to Jewish theology). For this reason Dwarfs place a very high value on words and writing, and the destruction of a word (such as say, erasing a blackboard) is seen as a reprehensible crime by more conservative dwarfs. Despite this, Tak is not worshipped; he left after creating the world and demands little from his believers. As Grag Bashfullsson says in Thud!, "Tak does not require that we think of Him, only that we think." Further details of these gods are not known, with the exception of the trickster, Agi Hammerthief. Dwarfs do not believe in demons or similar either, but traditionally bury their dead with good weapons in case the demons don't know about the fact.

In place of gods and demons, they do have several dozen different words for "dark". Many of these are highly mystical and dangerous, such as the "closing dark," the "calling dark" and the "waiting dark" (the dark that waits to fill new holes). Worst of all is the "Summoning dark", which is said to have a mind of its own and to seek out and corrupt certain victims susceptible to it.

In the past, a significant part of dwarfish culture was the "Knockerman", who went into mines ahead of the other dwarfs to check for firedamp. The Knockermen wore leather armour, designed to be shock-absorbing, and conical leather hats. The ones who returned were respected for their bravery, and told stories of hearing the hammering of dead dwarfs trying to tunnel back into the world and Great A'Tuin's heartbeat. They became advisors and lawmakers. If dwarfs had a religion they would have been considered priests. It is possible that these are the "grags" (renowned masters of Dwarvish lore) mentioned in Thud!, though they would be more akin to rabbis or imams than priests.

This fell out of practice in the Ramtops when a dwarf in Ankh-Morpork invented the Davy lamp. The Überwald dwarfs, however, felt the Knockermen were too important to be replaced by a device, and this caused something of a rift between the two groups. Many traditionalist Überwald dwarfs now refuse to come to the surface at all and, if they must, wear the Knockerman's outfit to protect themselves from the sun. They are called drudak'ak, which translates as "they don't get out in the fresh air enough". In Morporkian they are called "deep-downers"

Feminisation

Another recent development is the trend for young dwarfs in Ankh-Morpork and elsewhere to be openly female. This trend seems to have been started by Cheery Littlebottom, (pronounced 'Cherri') a member of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, who was surprised at the way human females distinguished themselves from males. The trend seems to have been picked up in the Ramtops (where some dwarfs already had names like Gloria Thogsdaughter), but is something else found offensive by Überwald traditionalists. The swear word "ha'ak" is used by such dwarfs to indicate their disapproval, and is considered an extremely offensive term. Since, historically, the "typical" dwarf was not actually assumed to be male (it was more the question being deemed irrelevant) this is a curious reaction, except inasmuch as the disapproval is of dwarfs not (in the drudak'ak's opinion) acting like dwarfs.

It is not yet known what the effect has been on dwarfish society of certain strong hints by Low King Rhys that he is, in fact, Low Queen Rhys, and may be getting a dressmaker. This may, however, be one of the many reasons (s)he is regarded with little respect by the drudak'ak, in addition to the schism between the modernist and traditionalist dwarfs, Rhys being regarded as a conservative member of the former group.

Cuisine

Bread is also a significant part of dwarf culture throughout the Disc. Dwarf bread is like hardtack, only more so; its properties are a parody of Middle-earth cram and lembas. It will enable you to survive for days (by making you realise you are surrounded by things that look more edible) and never goes stale, possibly because it was always stale. Its primary use is as a weapon (although it is also used as a kind of currency), and it is made in many different types. These include boomerang biscuits, drop scones (a reference to real drop-scones) and close-combat crumpets. Reportedly the process of "forging" a loaf of dwarf bread includes gravel as part of the recipe, and kitty litter is apparently a preferred seasoning.

The Low King sits on an (apparently) ancient loaf of dwarf bread called the Scone of Stone (a parody of the Stone of Scone).

Besides dwarf bread, dwarfish cuisine consists largely of things found underground, such as fungi, rodents and bits of rock. Rat is a staple of the dwarf diet, provided it is completely covered in ketchup or a similar sauce to hide the taste. Ankh-Morpork's rich abundance of rats is one of its main selling points to potential dwarf immigrants. Dwarfs are also known to eat dog, but only if there is not any rat.

Lawkeeping

The common method of lawkeeping in dwarfish culture is very simple: as the dwarfs devote their time to mining, they have no official form of police or watch, and so their preferred method of punishing evildoers is to hang them up by the town hall, as that presumably would stop any thoughts of law breaking in the future. The punishment is not practised in Ankh-Morpork, however, because Ankh-Morpork doesn't have a town hall.

Language

The language of Discworld Dwarfs (Kad'k) bears a superficial resemblance to Khuzdul, in that it has a lot of guttural k's and z's. Drudak'ak tend to converse entirely in the language. It is not spoken much in front of humans in general, possibly because humans themselves find it difficult to master. Dwarfs who speak Morporkian invariably translate any meaningful parts of their name when doing so.

Kad'k is famed for having no words for rock. It has hundreds of words describing different kinds of rock, but not a single word that simply means "rock", much like the Inuit language supposedly has many words for different kinds of snow (in fact a fallacy, see here). "Show a dwarf a rock and he sees, for example, an inferior piece of crystalline sulphite of barytes." (Witches Abroad)

Known words and phrases, besides those mentioned above, include:

• AaDb'thuk - "Okay" (literally, "All correctly beamed and propped")
• Bura'zak-ka- "Town hall"
• 'Bad'dhakz- "Yeast bowl"
• B'tduz - A game in which two dwarfs stand a few feet apart and throw rocks at each others' heads.
• B'zugda-hiara- "lawn ornament"; a deadly insult, unless used by a very close friend (Wyrd Sisters).
• D'hrarak- "Not dwarfs", seems to refer to dwarfs who have been cast out of dwarfish culture
• Dr'zka - "Not really a dwarf", refers to dwarfs who do not obey all dwarfish traditions, but are not quite d'hrarak.
• G'daraka- "Fresh" is a loose translation. Dwarfs who have just married and have had their debts paid off are said to be in a state of G'daraka. This means they are "free, unencumbered, new dwarfs."
• Gr'duzk- "Good day"
• Ha'ak- Exact translation unknown, but it is an offensive term for an openly female dwarf,, or indeed, as seen in the climax of Thud!, any dwarf at all.
• Jar'ahk'haga- Literally "ideas taster". This is the title of the senior advisor to the Low King (The Fifth Elephant)
• K'ez'rek d'b'duz'- "Go around the other side of the mountain", according to Nanny Ogg. A name for Granny Weatherwax.
• Kruk- "Law". The kruk is mostly about mining rights, but covers all aspects of dwarfish culture.
• Kzad-bhat - "Headbanger"; Carrot's dwarfish name.
• Sh'rt'azs- A family name, translated as "Littlebottom" (and, when pronounced, sounds like "shortarse" in non-rhotic forms of English).
• T'dr'duzk b'hazg t't- "Today is a good day for someone else to die." The famous well-thought-out dwarfish battle-cry. After being declared somebody HAS to die. It is an obvious parody of the Klingon "Today is a good day to die."
• Zadkrdga - "Smelter". Also, as explained above, "investigator".

The (admittedly small) lexicon of Dwarfish words reveals only 15 letters: a, b, d, e, g, h, i, j, k, n, r, s, t, u, and z. The capital "D" in AaDb'thuk may be a separate letter, or it may simply be a differently inflected "d."

The word Hnaflbaflwhiflsnifltafl (a predecessor to the game of Thud) could be a Dwarfish word, but since it is obviously derived from the Scandinavian "Hnefatafl", and since it contains a number of letters (f, l, w) not found in any Dwarfish words and lacks any of the diacritics one would expect in a Dwarfish word that long, it is probably of human, rather than Dwarfish origin.

The enclitic -ak or -'ak appears to mean "not," and generally to indicate the opposite of something.

Names

Dwarfish last names are, as mentioned above, usually translated into when speaking other languages. Knowing what the name means is part of knowing who the dwarf is. They can be descriptive clan-names (Littlebottom, Rocksmacker) or patronymics (Albrechtson), although these can be based on relations other than the father (Snoriscousin) and even get recursive (Glodssonssonsson).

Dwarfish first names are usually either the same as humans of the region (Rhys, Bjorn, Gloria), mono- or duo-syllables reminiscent (to a greater or lesser extent) of Tolkien's dwarf names (Glod, Gimlet, Timkin, Hwel), or emotional descriptors (which, like the surnames, are translated) (Cheery, Nosy, Dozy). (The last is based on the dwarf names in Walt Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs).

Minesign

While dwarfs are noted for gossip, they can also be taciturn even amongst themselves. "Minesign" is how they convey their feelings to other dwarfs. Minesigns can be scratched or drawn on any available surface, and generally refer to the different kinds of dark referred to above.

The basic minesign is the Long Dark, which merely announces the presence of a mine. It is a circle with a single horizontal line through it. (This resembles the logo of London Transport, which was originally the symbol for the London Underground.)

The minesign for the Summoning Dark is one small circle enclosed by a larger circle with a tail - or an "eyeball with a tail". Enscribing it is a curse that brings the Summoning Dark down on the area. Once it is awakened, the minesign recurs in its surroundings, seemingly by coincidence. It is very dangerous to leave any of these in the dark.

Notable dwarfs

B'hrian Bloodaxe

The first Low King of the Dwarfs, and a great cultural hero. His life is told in the opera Bloodaxe and Ironhammer. He was the lover of Ironhammer, who forged the Scone of Stone (a reference to the Stone of Scone). Ironhammer killed himself (traditionally, all dwarves are called 'he', even females) when falsely told of Bloodaxe's death. Bloodaxe was subsequently killed at the Battle of Koom Valley. According to legend he killed 57 trolls there, and a loaf of Battle Bread that he supposedly wielded has become a cultural icon and is in the Dwarf Bread Museum in Ankh-Morpork. However, in Thud! it's revealed that he was trying to prevent the battle when a flash flood trapped him in a sinkhole. The Battle Bread found next to Bloodaxe's body casts doubt on the authenticity of the A-MDBM loaf, unless of course he carried more than one.

Bloodaxe was first mentioned in Feet of Clay, and his full history was revealed in The Fifth Elephant and Thud!. His name is possibly based on Brian Bloodaxe, a computer game character from the 1980s. The character is also possibly based on Brian Boru, a 10th century Irish king.

Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom

Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom is a forensic alchemist for the City Watch and one of the first dwarfs to be openly female, pronouncing her name as Cheri. She now often wears a leather skirt and has slightly raised iron heels on her boots while on duty. Her surname translates in Dwarfish as Sh'rt'azs ('shortarse'). Her family lives in Überwald, except for her late brother Snorey who died in a gas explosion somewhere under Borogravia. She is introduced in Feet of Clay and appears in all subsequent Watch novels, most notably The Fifth Elephant. A webcomic features her (The Adventures of Cheery Littlebottom). Cheery was promoted to Sergeant shortly prior to Thud!.

Giamo Casanunda

A dwarf (though more noticeable than most because of his colossal powdered wig). The male equivalent of Nanny Ogg. His visiting card says "World's second greatest lover. Finest swordsman. Outrageous liar. Stepladders repaired." (With regards to the 'second greatest lover', Casanunda states that "he tries harder".) He also claims he performed a small service - although not that small - for Queen Agantia of Skund, for which he received his noble title of count. Since Skund is a virtually uninhabited forest with no known rulers, his story lacks a certain credibility. Known for also being the fastest thing on the Disc, when in a nunnery (the second fastest thing on the Disc is the ambiguous puzuma, a creature that moves "at relativistic speeds"). First mentioned in a footnote to Reaper Man, he subsequently appeared in Witches Abroad and Lords and Ladies. He is referenced in Soul Music and had a brief cameo in Carpe Jugulum where he reflects upon a fellow highwayman being killed by the Magpyrs. Notable line: "Kneel and deliver!" His name, and aspects of his personality, are a play on Giacomo Casanova, although, as a dwarf, he obviously stands more "unda" than "ova" his conquests.

Gunilla Goodmountain

Goodmountain is a major character in The Truth. He and a group of other dwarves, including his fiancee, Boddony, introduce the moveable type printing press to Ankh-Morpork and found the city's first newspaper, the Ankh-Morpork Times. Like most dwarves, he is primarily interested in gold and technology, but he seems to also want to keep the Times going for reasons beyond this.

Hwel

Hwel is a secondary character from "Wyrd Sisters". He is the most talented playwright in the Disc and works for the travelling theatrical company of Olvin Vitoler. Hwel is a dwarf and as such comes from the Ramtop mountains. He is, however, utterly indifferent towards gold and mining and is involved in an extremely undwarfish occupation. Being the most gifted playwright in the Discworld, Hwel creates his works under the influence of an unstoppable inspiration, which drives him to the verge of insanity with the vivid images it forces into his mind. Because he is unusually sensitive to the "inspiration particles" which are a fundamental particle of the Discworld universe, Hwel receives every idea for every play in the multiverse all at once. Hwel's plays are usually modified and tinkered with by the author even long after their creation. An example is the play he writes as instructed by the Duke of Lancre. The play actually twists its own form and makes Hwel completely alter the plot, reversing all of the characters.

Modo

Modo is the gardener at Unseen University. He is a conscientious gardener, but its location on the campus of a major magical faculty means that his handiwork has a tendency to be disrupted by supernatural events. Modo believes in compost in much the same way that humans believe in gods (dwarves aren't religious, exactly). It is unknown what he puts in his compost but it certainly brings up the roses. His personal theory is that they want to get as far away from the compost as possible. One of his compost heaps also, for one brief moment in Reaper Man, came alive, and it took a whole bottle of Wow-Wow sauce to stop it.

His time at UU has clearly mellowed him to a point normally thought unthinkable in dwarfs, as infractions that might make other dwarfs explode into a murderous frenzy evoke nothing more than a laugh and a good-natured reassurance that no wrong has been done, even or especially where his gardening was concerned; when Windle Poons dug up his painstakingly grown lawn in an attempt to escape the coffin his well-meaning colleagues had buried him in, Modo reassured Windle that a little sod, a little seed, and five hundred years would be over before he knew it.

He is a cousin of Glod Glodsson (Soul Music).

Rhys Rhysson

The current Low King, or possibly Queen, of the dwarfs. He hails from Llamedos (the Discworld's Wales) and thus has a slight lilt to his accent. He is considered a moderniser who is interested in embracing new cultures and ideas. He has held council with the Diamond King of Trolls and is untroubled by (and indeed seems quite interested in) the new trends in feminisation. His tolerance was somewhat tested by Adora Belle Dearheart having removed four thousand priceless golems from territory that, by rights, belonged to him, but little seems to have come of it.