Robert "Bob" Kelso, M.D. (most commonly referred to as Bob Kelso, Bobbo or Kelso) is a fictional character played by Ken Jenkins in the American sitcom Scrubs.

Profile

Bob Kelso is the former chief of medicine for Sacred Heart Hospital, as he resigns in the episode "My Dumb Luck". It was revealed in "My Growing Pains" that Kelso was born in 1942. He graduated twelfth in his class at Stanford University in 1968, although he had claimed to have graduated first in the class of 1972, until his lie was exposed by a patient using her Internet Capable Cellphone.

He always put the long term interests of the hospital above the interests of any individual patient. In "My Jiggly Ball", Kelso kicks a poor patient out of a drug trial to make room for a rich patient. The poor patient dies, but the rich patient makes a donation to the hospital that allows them to fund free pre-natal care for poor single mothers. Dr. Cox objects to Kelso's cold decisions (saying that Kelso is "the most evil human being on the planet, and may in fact be Satan himself").

When Elliot Reid (Sarah Chalke) disagrees with Dr. Kelso on a medical decision in "My Hypocritical Oath", Kelso allows her to proceed with her preferred method of treatment. When it fails and the patient dies, Kelso tacitly praises her for making a bold decision, and refers to her as a colleague although he is quick to add "I hate my colleagues."

He is married, but he often speaks ill of his wife, Enid, and gleefully cheats on her. He prefers women from Southeast Asia. He does, secretly, care about his wife, as evidenced by the love songs he wrote for her in "My Tuscaloosa Heart". He reveals in "My Hard Labor" that Enid kicked him out of their home after finding out about one of his affairs.

Kelso drives a Cadillac he calls Bessie, which he is extremely fond of; he cries when he sees the damage another car does to it in "My New Old Friend". He also drives a 2007 Mercedes-Benz convertible.

He was revealed in "My Growing Pains" to be 65, which is the hospital's retirement age. The board was actively searching for a replacement, and once he retired on his own terms, they appointed Dr. Perry Cox (John C. McGinley) as Interim Chief of Medicine.

In "My Dumb Luck" Kelso's forced retirement by the board due to his age is headed off with the help of the staff. He then decides to retire on his own terms, after reminiscing with Boon, a new intern, outside of the hospital. This is erred upon in the Season 7 finale, "My Princess," in which Kelso is still Chief of Medicine. The explanation given is that "My Princess" was produced before "My Dumb Luck," though the latter occurs first in the chronological order of the series.

According to series creator Bill Lawrence, Kelso will still be a series regular. Now that Kelso is no longer a hospital bureaucrat, he reveals himself to actually be a decent human being; he becomes Dr. Cox's confidant, as Cox can't talk to anyone else about how much he hates his new job.

Lawrence has also said that there will be a temporary new chief of medicine for three episodes in season 8 played by Courteney Cox.

Personal background

Kelso was born in 1942 (making him 65 as of 2007). Kelso has said his father, Dr. Kelsonovich, moved to Monroeville, Pennsylvania and that Bob played baseball as a star shortstop in Altoona, about two hours away on Route 22 East, before being banned from the Appalachian Rookie League for referring to all Dominican players as "Pepé." He can play the guitar and wrote numerous blues songs in college. His father was also a doctor, who endeared himself to his poorer patients by accepting gifts such as food and clothing in lieu of actual payment; he was apparently less generous to his own family, however, having left them on Kelso's own bike (an event to which Kelso attributes his irrational hatred of bikes). At the end of "My Growing Pains", it's revealed during Kelso's birthday celebration that he must retire within the next few months, as it is policy for administrators to step down when they reach the age of 65.

Kelso was in the Navy during the Vietnam War, and he claims that his fingernails were pulled out in that conflict. In "My Quarantine", he claims to have only one testicle In "His Story IV" and "My Déjà vu, My Déjà vu", he reveals that he has a tattoo of the word "Johnny" on his buttocks ("...he's an old sailor buddy, and if you went through what we did, you'd understand"). His squad leader, Roger Dorsey, died in his arms. His wife worked in his hospital as a nurse during his early career, and it is later revealed that his best friend, Dr. Townsend, introduced the two; as a young doctor, he slapped the bottom of an attractive nurse walking by, declaring, "Foxy Enid!". Although she is never shown, it can be inferred, through Kelso's comments, that she is morbidly obese, paralyzed from the waist down, blind and is confined to a wheelchair. In "My Common Enemy", Kelso secretly gives her antidepressants to kill her sex drive. He has two sons, one with Enid, Harrison, a gay heavy metal fan, and a secret love child, Trong Tri Kelso, the product of his relationship with a Vietnamese woman. The existence of his love child embarrasses him, but he still pays for the boy's college education. Kelso's wife and sons are unseen characters who are often referred to but never seen by the audience, although Enid is briefly seen from behind reclining in her wheelchair and her voice is heard once and Harrison is shown in a flashback when he was a child, and was also shown briefly and distantly in a photograph. He also had a dog, Baxter, whom he adored. Baxter dies in "My Chopped Liver". In "My No Good Reason", Elliot gives Kelso a bulldog named Boomer that used to belong to a now-deceased patient. He also owns a boat named "Doctor Feel Good", which he bought when he had his midlife crisis.

Peculiarities

Kelso is a strong advocate of nepotism. Dr. Cox refuses no opportunity to insult Kelso and even punched Kelso in the face in "My Dream Job". Cox has often been the perpetrator behind pranks on his boss, though he doesn't always escape retribution. However, in more recent episodes, the animosity between the two of them appears to have softened somewhat.

He has an apparently insatiable sexual appetite. Many episodes feature at least one reference to his exploits or tastes in this regard, especially his great attraction to Asian women. He has almost no shame about his adultery and lecherousness, and seems to enjoy making people feel uncomfortable by talking about his behavior. He even had a "happy ending" in a massage parlour while colleague Christopher Turk (Donald Faison) is forced to watch (due to a crick in his neck). In "My Jiggly Ball", Kelso visits a free clinic to get treatment for a sexually transmitted disease. Elliot (who is working at the clinic) leverages Kelso's fear of being discovered by his wife to regain her job at Sacred Heart.

"My Case Study" reveals that Kelso has a tradition involving his wedding anniversary: the day of his anniversary, he is blissfully happy due to the night of lovemaking with his wife, and becomes uncharacteristically generous. This is therefore the only good day any staff can approach him and ask him for something, e.g. new equipment. He later says a word too many, causing Turk to realize that the lovemaking never actually takes place, since Kelso's wife is at "fat camp". Kelso reveals that it is actually a ruse so that employees only ask him for favors one day a year.

He is determined to let everyone in Sacred Heart know who is boss; to reinforce his superiority, he picks out one individual every semester and drives them to their breaking point. Sacred Heart's lawyer, Ted Buckland (Sam Lloyd), is also a frequent target of Kelso's malice; Kelso is fond of bossing the milquetoast Ted around and depriving him of any kind of joy or comfort during the work day.

Kelso's son, Harrison, wrote a musical about him called "Dr. Dad", and later "shacked up" with the actor who played Kelso. However, it was later revealed that the musical was just a front for a methamphetamine dealing operation.

Kelso is a master of Ms. Pac-Man and uses the game as a stress reliever, and has a high score of 41,000,000. In one episode, Turk cuts off the power cord to the Ms. PacMan arcade in retribution for Kelso parking on the basketball court. Kelso confronts Turk, stating that to get that score he ignored patients so much that "people died". Kelso also "competes" with Turk for a spot on the bench to eat their lunch in a peaceful area in "My Nickname" (he is impressed with his efforts when Turk is shown eating his lunch in the rain). He has also assured himself that Turk's name is Turk Turkleton after getting drunk at Turk and Carla's (Judy Reyes) wedding; he has since called him "Turkleton". Later, when Turk reminds him of his real name, Kelso says that he prefers Turkleton.

One of his personal quotes is "What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? [gives a double thumbs-up at himself] Bob Kelso." Kelso has used this quote or some variation of it at least three times in the history of the series. This is part of another personality quirk, as stated by series creator Bill Lawrence in the DVD commentaries: Dr. Kelso loves to say his own name (or as noted by Dr. Cox, just to hear it).

Kelso seems to pine for the old days of being a doctor, having not personally dealt with patients since he was promoted to Chief of Medicine though he was shown to dump his patients on J.D. in "My Karma" due to his burnt face. In "My Boss's Free Haircut", he confesses to Dr. Cox that he misses the days when doctors were respected and rewarded for their service to humanity.

"My Transition" reveals that Kelso has "oddly youthful" legs - he shaves them during spring so he can show them off in the hospital, and is able to jump eight feet above his head thanks to his well-defined calf muscles. In Vietnam, he was able to jump into helicopters when they hovered at said height above the ground for pickup.

He is fond of spending the hospital budget on himself. For example, in "My Kingdom", he spends hospital money on a golf trip to Hawaii rather than buying a new computer for the hospital, while in "My Hypocritical Oath", he admits having used hospital funds to buy a T.V. instead of an MRI machine.

Kelso has a sweet tooth and often lets it deter him from his responsibilities as the chief of medicine. On occasion other characters have used this as a way of keeping their antics hidden from him by falsely informing him that there are cupcakes somewhere in the hospital, thus taking his attention away from what they are doing. Turk and JD have employed something as simple as a spoonful of peanut butter to completely distract him. At one point, he won free muffins for life from the Coffeebucks in the hospital, which he takes great advantage of. He also gains a noticeable amount of weight when his son gets engaged to the owner of a Cinnabon franchise.

Kelso's compassion

Kelso has a well-hidden compassion for his patients, his coworkers, and even his employees. (He has stated that he particularly likes J.D.) He looks after his gardener and their family ("Now who's up for Dairy Queen!?"), he gives Carla a lift to the hospital, and demonstrates a close, friendly relationship with people outside of his work. While he often jokes about it, he is accepting of his gay son Harrison and really does love him. (He had once stated that if J.D. were gay, he'd make an ideal partner for Harrison.) Even though he is embarrassed by his love child, on one occasion it is showed he still does talk to him (he talks to him in fluent Vietamese and berates him about his grades). While trying with Dr. Cox to crush Dr. Molly Clock's (Heather Graham) spirit in "My Common Enemy", he feels remorse when she appears to break down due to their efforts. This is what she was trying to prove all along; that neither Cox nor Kelso are the completely heartless men (or, as they put it, "bastard-coated bastards with bastard fillings") they try to appear to be. He has also claimed in the past to be indifferent to the fact that so many people dislike him, but Cox has noted that deep down Kelso doesn't like to be thought of as the most hated person in the hospital.

"My Scrubs" reveals that Kelso has always known about how patients with no health insurance have been receiving treatment, but keeps quiet to keep the system running and to benefit a friend with a foot injury. In "My Best Moment", he gives a man without insurance a free stay at the hospital. He finds the man's eight-year old child to be particularly affable and can't bring himself to doom the boy's father to certain death right before Christmas, considering it to be his finest moment in medicine; however, when he gives instructions over the phone to keep the uninsured father in the hospital, the person on the other end is skeptical that it really is Dr. Kelso speaking.

In "His Story IV", the admission of Private Brian Dancer, who was wounded in Iraq, sparks political debate with the staff of Sacred Heart, enough that Dancer's health is jeopardized. In order to unite the hospital once more, Kelso removes the employee discount at the hospital's coffee shop (with the exception of himself), knowing that the only way for the hospital to work together is to have one person they all hate. In "My Jiggly Ball", Kelso chooses to treat a rich patient at the expense of a poor one (both having identical symptoms). The rich man donates money enough for a pre-natal care program; however this decision is shown to affect Kelso to the point that he is visibly saddened when he goes home.

Kelso has also shown certain respect for nurse Laverne Roberts (Aloma Wright); In "My Long Goodbye", he calls her "one of the good ones" and kisses her while she is comatose. It is also said in the same episode that he had slept with her at some point before she married her husband.

In recent seasons, Kelso plays "Macaroni" with J.D. (Zach Braff), a game involving flicking macaroni noodles at Dr. Beardface. Kelso also helps Turk play a prank on Dr. Cox in "My Turf War". However, Kelso becomes very hostile towards Elliot when she gets a job in private practice. This changes in "My No Good Reason", when she thanks him for making her a better doctor and gives him a bulldog to replace Baxter.

In "My Dumb Luck" Kelso reminisces with an intern outside the hospital. Amidst his ramblings it is shown that he truly does love the hospital and the people who work there. After a brief encounter with Dr. Cox, Kelso reveals that while Cox likes to believe that he (Cox) loses most battles the truth is that very often Kelso lets him win because its the right thing to do for the patients. In his very last scene, he is seen carrying his portrait on his way out of the hospital after "ending it on his own terms", he sincerely thanks Ted for his hard work; Ted seems bewildered, but accepts his thanks instantly. He takes one last look at the hospital and drives off into the sunset.

References