As the DOB gained members, their focus shifted to providing support to women who were afraid to come out, by educating them about their rights and their history. Historian Lillian Faderman declared, "Its very establishment in the midst of witch-hunts and police harassment was an act of courage, since members always had to fear that they were under attack, not because of what they did, but merely because of who they were.
The name of the newfound club was chosen in its second meeting. "Bilitis" is the name given to a fictional lesbian contemporary of Sappho, by the French poet Pierre Louÿs in his 1894 work The Songs of Bilitis. The name was chosen for its obscurity; even Martin and Lyon didn't know what it meant. "Daughters" was meant to evoke association with other American social associations such as the Daughters of the American Revolution, the Daughters of the Republic of Texas, and the United Daughters of the Confederacy. In the beginning, its members felt they had to follow two contradictory approaches: trying to recruit interested potential members and being secretive. Martin and Lyon justified the name, writing later, "If anyone asked us, we could always say we belong to a poetry club. They also designed a pin to wear to be able to identify with others, chose club colors and voted on a motto "Qui vive", French for "on alert". The organization filed a charter for non-profit corporation status in 1957, writing a description so vague, Phyllis Lyon remembered, "it could have been a charter for a cat-raising club.
Within a year of its creation, most of the original eight participants were no longer part of the group, but their numbers had grown to 16, and they decided they wanted to be more than only a social alternative to bars. "They recognized that many women felt shame about their sexual desires and were afraid to admit them. They knew that...without support to develop the self-confidence necessary to advocate for one's rights, no social change would be possible for lesbians," wrote historian Marcia Gallo.
By 1959 there were chapters of the DOB in New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Rhode Island along with the original chapter in San Francisco. Upon arrival at a meeting, attendees would be greeted at the door. In a show of good faith, the greeter would say, "I'm ---. Who are you? You don't have to give me your real name, not even your real first name.
Soon after forming, the DOB wrote a mission statement that addressed the most significant problem Martin and Lyon had faced as a couple, the complete lack of information about female homosexuality in what historian Martin Meeker termed, "the most fundamental journey a lesbian has to make. When the club realized they weren't allowed to advertise their meetings in the newspaper, Lyon and Martin, who both had background in journalism, began to print a newsletter to distribute to as many women as the women in the group knew. It became The Ladder, the first nationally distributed lesbian publication in the US. The DOB advertised itself as "A Woman's Organization for the purpose of Promoting the Integration of the Homosexual into Society. New York chapter president Barbara Gittings noted that the word "variant" was used instead of "lesbian" in the mission statement, since "lesbian" was a word that implied a very negative meaning in 1956. The statement was composed of four parts that prioritized the purpose of the organization, and it was printed on the inside of the cover of every issue of The Ladder until 1970:
1.Education of the variant...to enable her to understand herself and make her adjustment to society...this to be accomplished by establishing...a library...on the sex deviant theme; by sponsoring public discussions...to be conducted by leading members of the legal psychiatric, religious and other professions; by advocating a mode of behavior and dress acceptable to society.
2. Education of the public...leading to an eventual breakdown of erroneous taboos and prejudices...
3. Participation in research projects by duly authorized and responsible psychologists, sociologists, and other such experts directed towards further knowledge of the homosexual.
4. Investigation of the penal code as it pertain to the homosexual, proposal of changes,...and promotion of these changes through the due process of law in the state legislatures.
This was reflected in ongoing debate over the propriety of butch and femme dress and role play among its members. As early as 1955 a rule was made that women who attended meetings, if wearing pants, should be wearing women's slacks. However, many women remember it being a rule that wasn't followed too strictly as attendees at many meetings were wearing jeans, and the only jeans available in the 1950s were men's jeans. Barbara Gittings recalled years later of an instance when, in preparation for a national convention, members of the DOB persuaded a woman who had worn men's clothing all her life, "to deck herself out in as 'feminine' a manner as she could...Everyone rejoiced over this as thought some great victory had been accomplished...Today we would be horrified at anyone who thought this kind of evangelism had a legitimate purpose.
The Daughters of Bilitis were used as political fodder in the 1959 mayoral race in San Francisco. Russell Wolden, challenging incumbent George Christopher, distributed information implying that Christopher was making the city safe for "sex deviants. Wolden was responsible for materials that stated, "You parents of daughters - do not sit back complacently feeling that because you have no boys in your family everything is all right...To enlighten you as to the existence of a Lesbian organization composed of homosexual women, make yourself acquainted with the name Daughters of Bilits. There were only two copies of the subscription list of The Ladder, a deliberate attempt to discourage its getting into the hands of anyone who might use it against the subscribers. DOB leaders moved the list from its headquarters to find later San Francisco police had searched the office after its removal. Even the FBI was curious enough to attend meetings to report in 1959, "The purpose of the DOB is to educate the public to accept the Lesbian homosexual into society.
Two hundred women attended the conference, as did the San Francisco police, who came to check to see if any of the women were wearing men's clothes. Del Martin brought them inside to see all the women wearing dresses, stockings and heels. The attendees listened to panels of speakers including a debate between two attorneys about the legality and morality of gay bars, a presentation by the American Civil Liberties Union, and an Episcopalian minister who "served up damnation with dessert," as he went on a "tirade" reminding the audience they were sinners, to which they listened politely. The DOB also gave awards to men who were allied with them, whom they called "Sons of Bilitis", or S.O.B.'s, which included their lawyer, photographer, and members of the Mattachine Society who assisted them with the convention.
In 1961 the largest raid on a gay bar in San Francisco resulted in the arrests of 100 people, and the police forced women arrested in another raid in Chicago to disrobe to prove they weren't wearing men's underwear, bringing a call in The Ladder to be more active. "If we ever hope to win our battle, we must fight. First, unshackle ourselves from fear, for it alone is our omnipresent enemy," read the report.
However, in 1962 at the Daughters' second convention, national president Jaye Bell again urged for the pragmatic approach of integration and patience with a slow criminal justice system. Two things happened in 1963 that changed the course of the organization. A windfall came to the group when an anonymous donor who refused her name to be recorded, known only to the DOB as "Pennsylvania," began donating large sums of money to the DOB - $100,000 US over five years. "Pennsylvania" wrote $3,000 US checks to different DOB members, who in turn signed them over to the organization. And the editorship of The Ladder changed from Del Martin to Barbara Gittings.
Because The Ladder was the primary method of communication from the leadership of the DOB to its individual chapters, the editor position was extremely influential in the group. Gittings made significant changes to the magazine, putting an emphasis on being more visible. One of Gittings priorities was aligning the DOB with the East Coast Homophile Organizations (ECHO), a coalition of other social and political clubs for gays and lesbians. Evidence of how impatient audiences were getting with psychiatrists telling them they were mentally ill was displayed in 1964 when at an ECHO convention, a featured speaker named Dr. Albert Ellis stated that "the exclusive homosexual is a psychopath" to which someone in the audience responded, "Any homosexual who would come to you for treatment, Dr. Ellis, would have to be a psychopath!" a comment that was met with applause.
In 1964, Martin and Lyon began to control less of the organization, saying, "We felt that if the organization had any validity at all it couldn't be based on two people, it had to be able to stand and grow on its own. And it was never going to do it if we didn't move out. Martin and Lyon joined the newly formed Council on Religion and the Homosexual (CRH) to develop a dialogue between organized religion and gays and lesbians. They urged the DOB to join the organization as well, but a previous rule precluding the DOB from joining separate organizations (set in place primarily to ensure it would not join organizations that sympathized with Communist aims) precluded it from doing so.
The Homophile Movement was influenced by the successful activism of the Civil Rights Movement, and higher profile members of the DOB such as Barbara Gittings, Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon began to picket the White House, the State Department, and other federal buildings in 1965 and 1966 with members of the Mattachine Society. Gittings, as editor of The Ladder, encouraged others to do the same, and their activism became controversial in the leadership of the DOB. Gittings also ran a regular column in The Ladder called "Living Propaganda" that encouraged women to come out to their friends and family members, as well as often including pieces by Frank Kameny urging political action. Some readers responded positively to Kameny, some were put off by the political tone, and some were angered by Kameny, as a man, suggesting to them what they do. DOB leaders disliked Kameny and the decisions Gittings was making for the magazine and she was "let go" as editor in 1966.
A November 1966 essay by DOB president Shirley Willer pointed out the differences in problems faced by gay men and lesbians: gay men dealt more with police harassment, entrapment, solicitation, sex in public places, and until recently few women were being arrested for cross-dressing. Willer pointed out the problems specific to lesbians were job security and advancement, and family relationships (child custody and visitation). Feeling as if their issues weren't being addressed by homophile organizations, many voices in the DOB began to say that lesbians had more in common with women than with men.
The Daughters were also affected by the changing times. Younger members didn't share the concerns with older members; they were more moved by revolutionary tactics. Problems in the organization of the national governing board were becoming increasingly worse when local chapters were unable to take action on issues important to them without the approval of the national board. Members became disillusioned and left, and younger lesbians were more attracted to join feminist organizations. By the time the 1968 convention was held in Denver, less than two dozen women attended.
Grier had high aspirations for The Ladder. She removed "A Lesbian Review" from the cover, placed there in 1964, to attract more women readers. She doubled the size of the magazine, expanding every section, and devoted much of the space in the magazine to feminist ideals. She reported the first DOB chapter in Australia in 1969 as well as attempts to form chapters in New Zealand and Scandinavia. In 1970, convinced that the DOB was falling apart and The Ladder must be saved, Barbara Grier worked with DOB president Rita LaPorte to take the subscriber list from the DOB headquarters in San Francisco to Reno and expand the magazine further.
There were only two copies of the list of subscribers; every year an assurance was printed in The Ladder to women nervous that their name on a list would be taken and used against them. Rita LaPorte took the list of 3,800 names from DOB headquarters and from the printers without telling anyone but Grier. When Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon discovered its loss, they assumed the police or FBI had confiscated it. Previous editors Martin, Lyon, Gittings, and Sandoz considered the act a theft. Because LaPorte took the list over state lines, pursuing it would have been a federal issue, and the Daughters did not have the resources to see it through. Grier severed ties with DOB leadership and in doing so took away the Daughters' primary method of communication from the national organization to its individual chapters. As a national organization, the Daughters of Bilitis folded in 1970, although some local chapters continued for many years after. Grier also effectively ended The Ladder, despite her plans for the magazine to run on advertising (something The Ladder had not previously had) and subscriptions, when the $3,000 US checks from "Pennsylvania", written to the DOB, stopped coming. By 1972, The Ladder had run out of funds and it folded.
Dozens of other lesbian and feminist organizations were created in the wake of the Daughters of Bilitis. However, the impact of the fourteen-year run of the DOB on the lives of women was described by historian Martin Meeker: "The DOB succeeded in linking hundreds of lesbians across the country with one another and gathering them into a distinctly modern communication network that was mediated through print and, consequently, imagination, rather than sight, sound, smell, and touch.