settling for

8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter

"8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter" is an episode from the fourth season of the FOX animated series Family Guy which guest-starred Joanna García as Stewie’s babysitter, Liddane. The title of the episode refers to the ABC TV show 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter, whose title comes from W. Bruce Cameron's book of the same name.

Plot summary

When Peter goes to the pharmacy to buy condoms, he realizes he has forgotten his wallet. Mort Goldman, the pharmacist, offers to open a tab for him; Peter quickly begins spending unnecessarily (he buys eight cases of ipecac so he can hold a vomiting contest with Brian, Chris and Stewie; however, it was a complete failure, although Chris technically wins). Soon, Mort calls in Peter's debt of $34,000. In desperation, Peter seizes upon a picture of Mort's son Neil, who is infatuated with Meg. Peter offers to sell Meg to the Goldmans to settle the bill, offering a contract; Mort agrees, but everyone is shocked to discover that Neil has started dating another girl (Cecilia). Meg becomes unexpectedly jealous and hunts desperately for a boyfriend to make Neil jealous; she ends up settling for Jake Tucker, who only wants her to buy him things. She finally tells Neil that she wants to be his girlfriend and signs the original contract to prove her sincerity; the Goldmans quickly put her to work as a slave plowing a field in their front yard. Brian finds a clause in the contract stating that it is null and void if Neil cheats on Meg, so Peter convinces Lois to dress as Mystique and seduce him at a fake X-Men convention. Neil tells Meg that he only wants her to be with him if she wants to be with him, tears up the contract and quickly reconciles with his previous girlfriend. Meg's relief quickly gives way to renewed jealousy.

Meanwhile, after Meg had complained that she was tired of babysitting Stewie while their parents went out, Lois interviews candidates for a new babysitter, including a couple of Portuguese fishermen (Santos and Pasqual, the two men Peter hired to help him fish) and a Gloop (from The Herculoids). Stewie instantly falls in love with Liddane, an attractive young applicant. Liddane already has a boyfriend, however, and in a jealous rage, Stewie clubs him with a tire iron, duct tapes his mouth shut and locks him in the trunk of Brian's car. When Liddane rejects Stewie's advances, he drugs her and tells Lois that she invited friends over and that they were "smoking merry-joo-wanna and hero-ween! And they were all taking eczema and touching each other!". Lois fires Liddane, who departs tearfully after giving Stewie a mixtape. Stewie regrets his actions and pursues her, but she has disappeared. Two weeks later, Stewie realizes that he forgot to release her boyfriend from Brian's trunk, and mildly assumes that he is dead.


The babysitter is named after Liddane Sanders, the production controller of Family Guy and American Dad!, according to the DVD commentary for this episode. Said commentary also states that this is the first episode of Family Guy to make a reference to The Simpsons.


The brief joke where Quagmire asks Peter for a card stating "Sorry I gave you VD" from Peter's greeting card display (which he bought from Mort on his tab) and Quagmire accepting the one that's for accidental cases is cut. It is still intact on FOX and Adult swim

Cultural references

  • The butter gag is a nod to the margarine product I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.
  • Stewie pretends to be Jiminy Glick, while interviewing Colin Farrell.
  • The scene in which Stewie tests his “teleportation pods” and merges with Rupert is a take on a similar scene from the 1986 film version of The Fly.
  • While stopping at Goldman’s Pharmacy, Peter imitates an Excedrin commercial and buys several copies of the fashion magazine Marie Claire, only to be disappointed by the physical appearance of actress Kathleen Turner.
  • In a cutaway, Peter buys a “breakfast machine,” which turns out to be a Rube Goldberg device which shoots him. The breakfast machine itself is similar to the breakfast machine featured in the film Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. The Danny Elfman music used in the scene was adapted from said film.
  • When Peter buys the greeting card shelf, the V.D. card he gave to Quagmire looks very similar to the greeting card robot in the Futurama episode Mother's Day.
  • When Neil's new girlfriend mentions that Neil "videotaped her through his window" could be a reference to American Beauty when Rick does the something very similar
  • The show parodied the 2004 crossover film Alien vs. Predator, which pitted the Xenomorphs from the Alien film series against the Predator of the Predator series, with a scene from “Kramer vs. Predator,” pitting Dustin Hoffman’s character from Kramer vs. Kramer against a Predator.
  • Meg is seen watching the Kids' Choice Awards, hosted by comedian Paula Poundstone, referencing her arrest.
  • Lois is attacked by two characters (Tundro and Gloop) from the old cartoon series The Herculoids in one scene where she is interviewing for babysitters.
  • Stewie fantasizes Brian re-enacting the Matthew McConaughey’s character Wooderson’s line in Dazed and Confused in front of the pool hall: “That’s what I like about high school girls. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.”
  • Before Stewie locks Jeremy in the trunk, Stewie gives him his iPod so he could listen to The Strokes while he gasps for air (Stewie at first calls them The Streets).
  • When Meg asks Peter how he would make Neil come to the motel, Peter says he has "made him an offer he can't refuse." This is a dialogue by Vito Corleone from the movie The Godfather.
  • At the X-Men convention, Lois is dressed as the film version of Mystique, and tries to seduce Neil Goldman who is dressed as Wolverine.
  • A scene where Stewie is dating a woman is a reference to the TV Reality series, Blind Date.
  • The scene in which Meg is putting on Neil's pajamas for him, there is a model of the Enterprise, from Star Trek, on the table.
  • Meg makes an appearance on Everybody Loves Raymond, interrupting Debra (addressed as "Patty") mid-sentence to tell Neil she hates him.

Previous episode reference

The manner in which Stewie kidnaps Liddane's boyfriend is similar to the one in which he kills the cult leader in "Chitty Chitty Death Bang".


The mixtape Stewie got from Liddane is played during the last scene in "Whistle While Your Wife Works."


  • This is one of the few episodes that begin with a cold open.
  • At the end of the episode Peter mentions "Next week I run for mayor of Quahog. Do I have what it takes?" No episode with this plot has aired, though later there is an episode when Lois runs for mayor ("It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One").
  • The vomiting scene clocks in at 56 seconds.

External links

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