This is a list of characters from the popular webcomic Sluggy Freelance
A hapless freelance web designer and an incorrigible punster, Torg is the protagonist in most storylines, having appeared in more than half of the site's comics at last count. He's impulsive and not so bright, and yet he sometimes comes up with surprising but clever solutions to problems.
Torg is also marked by his amiable personality and his unwavering loyalty to his friends, which sometimes causes him to act in selfless (and sometimes reckless) ways. He has taken on an increasingly heroic and deep personality as several of his adventures have taken him far away from friends for long periods of time in ever more lethal situations. He was emotionally shattered after spending much of 2004 in the middle of a demonic invasion of a parallel universe.
Torg seems to have problems with steady or stable relationships, as most of the women with any romantic designs on Torg have generally found themselves dead, emotionally traumatized, or generally not very well-off. For example, when Torg gave Zoë a necklace found in a lost Egyptian pyramid, it turned out to be cursed and turned her into a camel. This pattern of girlfriend-destruction itself can even be seen as self-perpetuating, since one of the reasons Torg has not actively pursued a relationship with Zoë (or broken it off when it got too intimate) is that he fears that if he lets her become close she too will fall victim to one of the many weird dangers that Torg constantly finds himself surrounded by. This fear was increased after Alt-Zoë was killed in front of him in 2004, but after confronting this fear in the shadow world during the Wayang Kulit adventure, he has moved past it. He is now attempting to track down Oasis and sort things out to remove any danger to Zoë.
Torg was a freelance web designer for many years before his business went bankrupt. Since then he has had little success with jobs. This difficulty is partly due to his many adventures drawing him away from home. He also has a severe problem with a regimented work schedule or the very concept of having to be up before 9 a.m. He started working for Adversion Advertisement in May 2005, but was fired in January 2007 for constant absences from work.
Not much is known about Torg's past. He says he has some Viking heritage, which may explain his name. His family has never been shown, but he has been friends with Riff since grade school.
Astute readers will note that Torg's trademark eternally plaid shirt is always filled with a series of neat vertical and horizontal stripes. Pete Abrams, who has demonstrated increasing artistic acumen over the years, appears to deliberately ignore all rules of perspective when drawing the shirt, so that overlapping folds of fabric or bending of the arms have no impact on its stripes. Crossover artists often imitate this design trait when drawing him.
Following the "That Which Redeems" storyline, Torg has taken to wearing a slightly wider repertoire of shirts. During the Wayang Kulit storyline, the plaid shirt appears to be associated with 'old Torg' or 'happy Torg', while the solid red shirt is associated with his increasingly heroic role in adventures (It is sometimes referred to as the "hero shirt" by fans). The white t-shirt, on the other hand, is associated with cowardice - Torg attempting to put on a face to hide from the problems which have begun to take a heavy toll on his psyche. The shirt and tie - Torg's "work clothes" - in this storyline seem to represent an attempt to escape his problems as well, or to deal with his problems by violence rather than coming to terms with them.
Torg first appeared on August 25 1997
Genius inventor and "freelance bum" whose creations almost always bring mayhem and destruction in their wake. Riff is much more introverted than much of the cast (especially in contrast to his best friend Torg), and seems to often have difficulty expressing his feelings beyond just a shrug or nod. As a result, he has difficulty maintaining a steady relationship. Besides Gwynn and Sasha, he seems to have had a number of girlfriends his friends and the readers haven't even heard about as he avoids discussing such things.
Riff's inventions have been extremely varied (though he has a love for heavy firepower), and often play key roles in plot lines. Among his inventions have been the Dimensional Flux-Agitator (a device used for moving matter between dimensions), a time machine (not Y2K-compatible), and a gigantic mecha-style robot featuring enough firepower for a modern army with an AI cribbed from an old See-'n-Say. Their unpredictable (and usually destructive) effects generally lead to Riff uttering his catchphrase, "Let me check my notes."
His biological mother was revealed early in the strip to be Dr. Lorna, a Dr. Laura-esque radio personality whom he blames for ruining his life. She disowns him after his mechanical duplicate (operated by Bun-bun and Kiki) causes problems at one of his mother's parties. His father's identity is unknown, though is presumably an Indiana Jones-esque archaeologist. Riff primarily lived with his father and stepmother since the age of ten, and even Torg did not know the truth about his real mother until it came up early during the events of the comic. (The story "A Carnivorous Smurf for Kimmy Sue Hasenpfeffer" contradicts the last claim by featuring Dr. Lorna as known by Torg to be Riff's mother in the eighties.)
Riff also was a former freelance talent for the evil corporation HeretiCorp, but eventually aided in reducing the company to shambles when he discovered the reports he had sent in were being used for very sinister purposes. Afterward, he took an office job and was transferred to Alaska where he set up a company making anti-vampire weapons. When his accountant managed to bankrupt him, he returned to freelance bum work.
Riff usually wears a trench coat and his face is never seen without his sunglasses. In one Clay Yount strip, he is sleeping with a blinder, and turns away when he reaches for his sunglasses, but in Pete Abrams strips he even sleeps with sunglasses on. He has a fear of clowns and the Department of Motor Vehicles. He had a self-esteem problem when he was going through high school. His "translator" says random phrases designed to stroke his ego.
According to novelist John Ringo, who has corresponded with Pete Abrams while doing a crossover, Riff was originally based on a deceased friend of Abrams' named Paul Kilzer. This connection is touched upon in "The Sluggite Koan".
Riff first appeared on August 25 1997 He is Jewish, he wields a Star of David against vampires and celebrates Hanukkah.
Half-Korean friend, housemate, and occasional camel, Zoë is probably the sanest one of the bunch, often acting as the voice of reason. More often than not, she gets swept up in the group's adventures either entirely by accident or against her will.
Zoë is originally from Nebraska, where she also eventually graduated college. Her family includes her younger sister Min (who is now in college herself), her father (who works as an English teacher and looks vaguely similar to Torg), and an incredibly overprotective mother. She has given up a long time ago on trying to be honest to her mother about her life since meeting Torg and Riff ("No mom, I'm not on drugs!")
There is a great deal of unspoken romantic tension between Zoë and Torg, which has been the cause of many a fan's frustration (as well as a great deal of hilarity). Of the two, Zoë seems not to be explicitly aware of what feelings she might have for him. Torg, on the other hand, thinks he's in love with her, but has been unable and sometimes unwilling to act on these feelings due to various circumstances over the years, ranging from her dating someone else to fear that Oasis would kill her out of jealousy. Anything resembling a resolution on this issue is yet to take place.
A magical necklace, a gift from Torg, has somehow become attached to Zoë, and now manifests only as a tattoo based on its original shape. The presence of this necklace causes her to be transformed into a camel on the magic word "Shupid" and restored on the word "Kwi".
Zoë has found constant work in radio, most recently as an intern on KBLAM's Broadman and Midget Show. Put on the air as Leslie Bean, "The Flakey Intern", her appearances brought in high ratings as she began talking about her bizarre home-life situations on air, eventually gaining her an own show with "Midget" (there known as "Jetski"). However, her friends are upset to hear her talking about them on the show. Consequently, she's been forced to move out of the mansion and has started living with Torg. As of December 2006 her radio career has alienated her from everyone bar Torg, including her family , and on 16th February 2007 she appeared to be trying to leave her job.
Zoë first appeared on September 23, 1997.
Bun-bun is a mini lop rabbit that was bought by Torg to be the strip's cute, talking, furry animal, a role he fills well enough. Unfortunately, he is also manipulative, violent, amoral, easily angered and extremely vengeful. (When Torg complains to the individual who sold him Bun-bun, the man notes that, technically, Bun-bun is physically cute, and he does talk, even if the things he says and does are not at all cute.) Bun-bun, though physically a small rabbit, is more powerful than much of the cast, possessing great strength disproportionate to his size and being, for the most part, very cunning and devious. A running gag, particularly early in the strip, is that incidental characters who are themselves dangerous will mistake Bun-bun for a harmless victim, which annoys Bun-bun sufficiently for him to violently disabuse them of that notion — often in a fatal manner. Bun-bun often switches between roles in the comic, and has been the protagonist, the antagonist, the contagonist, and many other roles and jobs, including a narrator. He has a liking for alfalfa-margaritas and Baywatch; he went into mourning when the series was cancelled, and tried to kill everyone when his extensive tape collection of the series was accidentally wiped (even when Torg bought new tapes). Despite wearing no clothes, he typically carries a switchblade that he can produce seemingly out of nowhere at will; like Riff, he has a fairly extensive collection of weapons, his second favorite after the switchblade being a Glock handgun. Bun-bun has a violent hatred of telemarketers that is significantly stronger even than his typical hostility towards anyone who gets in his way or who simply crosses his path. While he goes out of his way to track down and slay telemarketers who call him, he typically kills any and all telemarketers in general, whenever the opportunity presents itself.
Most of his origin is currently unknown: Bun-bun himself has stated that many of his memories prior to meeting Torg are hazy, at best. The only certainty is that his mother was murdered when he was very young. Certain scenes have pointed towards the rabbit being quite old and possibly immortal; he was present when the second Deus Ex Ovum was used. The exact point in time when this occurred is uncertain, but dialogue points towards it being a very long time ago, far longer than a rabbit (and probably humans) should ordinarily live. However, his presence at the use of the second Deus Ex Ovum may be the result of time travel after leaving Timeless Space.
Bun-bun has had a long-running war with Santa Claus, the exact nature of the origins of this feud being uncertain (even to Bun-bun, due to his clouded memories.) During one of his escapades, Bun-bun accidentally slew the Easter Bunny, and assumed the role for a time. His distaste for being forced to fulfill the requirements the role of the Easter Bunny conferred, as well as his cruel and aggressive nature, and his feud with Santa Claus, led to open warfare between Bun-bun and all the other holidays. After an abortive attempt to take over all the world's holidays, Bun-bun was tossed out of time by Santa. He wound up in Timeless Space, and took residence inside the Obsidian Teknokon's head. In this guise, he tracked down the younger version of himself from the first time he had been thrown into the void by Santa. After losing his ship to himself in a gambling match (deliberately), and being tossed overboard, Bun-bun followed himself to find out how he originally escaped. After a climatic battle above the Oceans Unmoving, the pair encountered Uncle Time who returned Bun-bun to Brie Meighsaton House in the present and sold his past self, suffering from amnesia, to Torg for his first appearance in the strip.
Bun-bun is aware that he has been tossed out of time before, but is not sure whether or not Santa did it (even though Mrs. Claus suggests that he threw Bun-bun "into the void" before). While his vendetta against Santa continues, his only action against him this year is to fire Kiki at his sleigh, causing presents to fall all over a highway.
Bun-bun first appeared on August 31 1997
It is slightly unclear whether the name should be written as "Bun-Bun" or "Bun-bun", since in the comic itself most text is entirely in capitals; however, in the few places where it is not (such as in the sub-chapter title "Bun-bun's Revenge"), the second B is not capitalized.
In other media
A parody version of Bun-bun appears as a minor character in John Ringo's Council Wars series. This version of Bun-bun is an artificial intelligence designed to act and look like Bun-bun, without explicit reference to the source.
Bun-bun's name is used as the name of a massive future tank-like armored vehicle in Ringo's Aldenata series.
Something Positive has implied in a flashbacks that Bun-bun or someone like him was raised by the adolescent Aubrey Chorde.
Aylee is an alien refugee from another dimension capable of changing form to adapt to current circumstances. She first appeared looking like a Xenomorph and attempted to eat the entire crew of a starship in a science fiction parody. Riff and Torg were the only survivors, and she followed them into their world. Stranded in an alien world, she found herself at a loss what to do, and she eventually became Torg's secretary, though Riff never trusted her.
In spite of her ability to adapt physically into virtually any environment, Aylee has great difficulties fitting in in the complicated human life on Earth, with its own peculiarities and its rules against just eating everything that moves. This is the source of much of the humour related to her. She's naive and childlike and largely unable to control the appetites associated with her various forms, such as the inclination to eat humans when she's carnivorous. Though this topic is usually treated lightly, it's also the source of serious conflict. Riff especially fears that Aylee may yield to her species's instincts to destroy and consume, and even as she grows closer to her human friends over the years, he expects he may have to destroy her in the end to save everyone else.
Aylee's shape-shifting ability seems to have almost no limits other than that she sometimes needs to cocoon up for a time to perform a more difficult shift. Her forms over the years have been numerous and quite different from each other, though they often have elements reminiscent of a dragon or a Xenomorph. Usually Aylee's changes signal a plot point in the story, as she reacts to something significant or takes on a form that affects events in itself.
Pete Abrams had first not intended Aylee to change forms. The publisher of his books warned Pete there could be problems in continuing use of Aylee because of her resemblance to H.R. Giger's alien, and so Pete came up with the shapechanging ability.
Aylee first appeared on October 14 1997
Riff's ferret; A former lab animal, she is hyperkinetic, has a microscopic attention span, and has a dark past as Dr. Crabtree's test animal. She belonged to Sam for a time after Bun-bun took over the lab and released the animals, then came into the care of Riff. Kiki is like a small child in many respects. Even though she can be annoying at times, most of the other characters, including Riff, Sam and even Bun-bun (who tends to be more condescending than hostile to her, labeling her a "tube rat" and often manipulating her), seem to have a soft spot for her, and will help her in times of need. She has a deep love of shiny things matched only by the shortness of her attention span. After some Halloween strips, Kiki was occasionally fed candy, which for the first time showed her ability to move at supersonic speeds. Bun-bun on more than one occasion has taken advantage of this to weaponize her (the ferret-bazooka), as when sugar-powered, she moves fast enough to penetrate solid brick walls. She also enjoys karaoke, often to the rest of the cast's dismay.
Kiki first appeared on December 15 1997
Another friend and housemate; she is as blind as a bat without her glasses. Although she is sardonic, selfish, often violent, and will manipulate people at the drop of a hat, she has proven her loyalty to her friends several times, usually in periods of crisis. She and Riff have dated in the past, and she is also psychologically conditioned to thump guys who act like jerks. Following a long stint as a worker at AyleeOrgNet, she spent a long period bitter and unemployed with her lowest end being pocketing the money from the gang's Halloween party during a financial crisis and claiming that the guests had claimed refunds in the absence of a demon (she was the only housemate present- Zoë and Torg had vanished and Riff had gone after them). She now works at Zomblebee's restaurant. In recent times, she came to regard the rest of the cast as not being her friends and has admitted she believes everyone will hurt her at some point, and that's why she may try to hurt them first Through seeing a psychiatrist, she has come to regard the others as a surrogate family. She's gained an antagonistic attitude towards Torg, caused by her false belief that he hates her (even though he doesn't).
After a confrontation with one of her Zomblebee's co-workers, who was an actual zombie, she gives Torg a video game and as he declares it, the entire household was friends for a while.
She is a practitioner of black magic with heavy ties to both the Book of E-Ville and the demon K'Z'K. Having been possessed twice by the Voweless, she attempted to drop magic but circumstances keep drawing her back in - manipulation by Bun-bun, her own pettiness, dangerous situations, and the fact that the Book doesn't want to leave her, once mentally contacting her and telling her it loved her. She had attempted to use magic to cure her eye problems, but this failed when the essential ingredients, monkeys, were eaten by a zombie. She tried to cure hair problems with magic, resulting in the near loss of souls of most of her friends.
Gwynn first appeared on December 28, 1997
aka "Sam da man": a rather dimwitted wannabe ladies' man with an overinflated ego. Sam was turned into a vampire in an early adventure, and he leaves the main group shortly after due to Riff's mistrust. He is, for the most part, only shown in the comic through side stories about him. However, from time to time he and the other main characters will cross paths. He is the last remaining member of the Lysinda Circle of vampires, although when this was pointed out to him he renamed it the "Sam Cirkail Mamajama." Unlike most vampires, a stake through the heart does not turn him to dust, but merely forces him to shrivel up like a raisin until the stake is pulled out.
- Unlike most of the main characters, Sam actually has a known last name.
Dr. Catherine Crabtree : A scientist of highly questionable ethics, sanity, and bodily composition. She was involved in a project to create nanites
, tiny robots designed to exist in a person's bloodstream and report all personal information about them to a centralized database, using Kiki as her test-subject. When this failed (when the nanites would spread, they would kill their host), she seemingly put the project on hold. She then seemed to have increasingly experimented on herself with nanites, turning her into some form of cyborg. She was eventually destroyed by an EMP blast of Aylee's, shutting down all of her nanites and liquefying her. During the course of her appearance of the comics, she never was a major threat, but rather attempted sneaking up on Kiki and the others, only to have her plans thwarted before anyone noticed she was there.Oasis :
A gymnast assassin
who is brainwashed to be madly in love with Torg and will kill anyone in her path. She has no memory of her life prior to being brainwashed to love Torg. It was revealed in a September 2006 story that her surname is Roken and she was dropped off at an orphanage at Virginia at age six by a "crazy-looking man"
, before being adopted by Dr. Steven Hereti a month later; she was just as capable an assassin back then, and did abstract art. It is known that before this, she spent some time at the Orsintos Research Center, which attempted to capture and weaponise ghosts
; in the present day, the center is long abandoned and most of its records have been destroyed, and one of Oasis' paintings is in Cell B-1. Its only resident is a ghost trapped within that communicates via cell phone.
She harbors a special, programmed hatred for Hereti-Corp (known as "override B-1", suggesting that her experiences at Orsintos created this undying hatred of Hereti-Corp), and will drop whatever she's doing and kill anyone associated with them. She had been trying to kill Zoë out of jealousy, although she was pacified by a marriage proposal from Torg. She has returned from the dead several times, and each time switches from relatively calm and stable to insane and back again. Her latest life is quite sane, and she currently seems more interested in discovering herself than pursuing Torg further. Her status as a villain is debatable, as she can be viewed as victim. She was once thought to be a robot, but was confirmed to be an extremely athletic human. She has a habit of repeatedly and mysteriously coming back from supposedly lethal conditions, a trait she thinks is because she is a ghost possessing the bodies of different humans every time she dies, although the only proof was the discovery of her charred remains from a former body.
After spending several months operating in the small town of Podunkton as a vigilante, killing criminals and throwing about very lame puns due to her total boredom, Oasis was shot in the head by an assassin under cover as a reporter named Nash Straw. () She appeared several minutes later to attack Straw, once again wearing the assassin-costume she perhaps always resurrects in; adding to the mystery, an unidentified corpse was found in the remains of Nash's car, and it is presumed this was the recently-killed Oasis body. Following the battle, Oasis mentioned a theory that she is a ghost possessing and altering other people's bodies , and that this is why she reacts differently to the same memories and situations following every death. How accurate her theories are is unknown.
Oasis first appeared on September 22, 1999 The Evil : A litter of 18 (6+6+6) evil kittens created when Satan came to earth and drunkenly accepted a dare. The Evil are quite harmless unless they have not been given their milk, at which point they fly into a murderous rage, killing everyone in the immediate area. They are invincible, though the kittens themselves eventually seem to realize the hold milk has upon them. They have also more recently been given mittens and additional powers (such as the ability to fly) from their father, Satan.
These demons immediately possess anyone foolish enough to summon them into this world. Often, the host undergoes a transformation, becoming similar in appearance to the demon, though they can appear like normal humans if it suits their purposes. Demons generally communicate with each other telepathically, so their avatars are often shown over a faded background of the real world.Skippy : A light blue, mucus (or bubble gum) like demon that worked with K'Z'K. He was summoned when a man named Bob attempted to read a Bazooka Joe comic after a printing error had caused its ink to run into runes of pure evil. Skippy can transform Bob into a sticky goo. The demon first appeared as K'Z'K's underling after Gwynn's second possession. Though he acted obsequious, it has been implied that Skippy was far more knowledgeable than he appeared. He is now the head of a cadre of demons eagerly anticipating K'Z'K's return.Chilus : A wasp-like demon. He began a cult based around K'Z'K fifty years ago, including several human members (who have the cult's symbol tattooed on them), but now believes the end of the world is his own task. Chilus possessed and subverted key elements of Clongressive, LLC and engineered the brain-bug "accident." It was his intention that the bugs would escape into the world and turn humanity into an army of antisocial geeks. He had intended Zoë, the legendary Storm Breaker, to be among his first victims. After his plot failed, he managed to escape the building by possessing Meander, sister of Clonegressive's head. Skippy is very angry with him for allowing Zoë to re-enter the equation, and it appears the two have had conflicts before, particularly since Chilus doubts that K'Z'K will return. Incidentally, Chilus is the only demon who has changed host bodies.
A powerful demon
with plans to rule the world, originally summoned by Gwynn. He is very touchy about people who mispronounce his name, although the main cast invariably uses vowels when referring to him. K'Z'K's powers include the ability to raise the dead as "Deadels" under his control. Gwynn first summoned him to kill her ex-boyfriend Riff (she did not know that demons summoned with the Book of E-Ville get free run of the earth once they complete their tasks), but ended up possessed by him. K'Z'K turned Gwynn into a large purple monster and used Dr. Lorna to bait Riff into his trap. Torg managed to exorcise K'Z'K using the Book of E-Ville and grammar puns, then Riff blasted the demon into the past with Berk's time blaster.
K'Z'K wound up in medieval Europe near the kingdoms of Mercia and Trent. When Zoë and Torg were sent to this time from a time machine accident, K'Z'K attacked. Zoë tricked him into looking at the holy picture book called The Book of Güd, reducing him to a small, bug-like creature, which she promptly stepped on.
After his demise, the souls of K'Z'K's victims returned to their original bodies. Gwynn's soul, however, carried a sentient part of K'Z'K's essence. K'Z'K managed to secretly amplify Gwynn's magic, so every time Gwynn used magic, K'Z'K grew stronger. He eventually appeared to her as an online lover named "Kenny" who encouraged Gwynn to use her magic more. In actuality, the "chat room" where they met was a word processor, and Gwynn was typing for both of them. When he became strong enough, K'Z'K forced Gwynn away from her friends and trapped her soul in a nightmarish dreamworld where a vortex would end her entire existence if she looked behind her. After gaining enough strength, K'Z'K took Gwynn's body back to the apartments to wreak his vengeance. When K'Z'K was on the verge of winning, Gwynn looked back, but used her friendship with Zoë to fight the vortex's pull. When K'Z'K returned to mock Gwynn, she grabbed him and threw him into the vortex instead. However, Skippy suggests that other pieces of K'Z'K exist, and another may be sentient.
A shadowy corporate organization that funds questionable scientific research and has its hand in a large number of conspiracies
. After Riff destroyed their Aylee-Clone project and Gwynn revealed their evil for all to see, the corporation was reduced to shambles. However, its highest-ranking officers survived and took up jobs at Burger Meister, using that as a springboard to resurrect their company, eventually taking the company over. Thanks to Gennaro's secret cheese recipe, they have rebuilt a new business empire out of the House of Cheese pizza franchise, which is a major financial success; House of Cheese uses the Hereti-Corp "hC" logo, with the intention of provoking Oasis into repeated Override B-1 rampages so they can track her. They are now aiming at "reclaiming lost programs" and targeting the K'Z'K cult. Dr. Steve Hereti : Oasis' creator and/or trainer, founder of Hereti-Corp. He adopted Oasis when she was seven. His Oasis Project was seemingly implemented after he had a falling out with his own corporation and created his own compound in a forest, so very little is known either about Oasis or his doings there. Was almost certainly killed when his compound self-destructed. Daedalus : Recently ousted, he was for a long time the mysterious leader of Hereti-Corp. His face has never been seen, because he has a strict policy that his "Evil Room" be kept completely dark, on pain of death. As such, all that is known about him is that he has black hair and is Caucasian
. He managed to escape the law after Hereti-Corp fell, and worked up his way to become a high-ranking Burger Meister executive before reforming his company. Soon after the new rise of the company, it was taken over by Dr. Schlock, who fired Daedalus and had him thrown into a cell.Dr. Irving Schlock : The recently appointed, almost unwilling head of Hereti-Corp, Dr. Schlock has a long history of previous involvement with the corporation and the main characters, usually playing the role of an anti-hero of sorts.
- Originally a scientist who worked in the same lab as Dr. Crabtree, Schlock first appeared as a walk-on character administering cosmetic tests on Bun-bun , where it appears he lost his left eye and now has to wear an eye patch. He later appeared as an old man from the future of an alternate timeline where K'Z'K had taken over the world. His knowledge helped save the current timeline from that same fate. He is not an out-and-out villain, just incredibly selfish and cowardly. He would occasionally aid the main characters with insider information (having been involved with Hereti Corp entirely against his will) or inflatable technology from the future, but only when threatened with significant bodily harm. However, he's a slippery and clever opponent, having gained the better of both Dr. Crabtree and Hereti-Corp by cunning when they were after him. Due to his attempts at cloning Aylee, he knows more about her physiology than anyone else alive. Because the currently active timeline diverged from the one which the old future version of the doctor came from when K'Z'K didn't conquer the world, this Schlock has remained unaffected by the death of his "present-day" self at the hands (and fangs) of Dr. Crabtree and has long been the only one remaining.
- Recently, Schlock was seen living with Torg and Riff, helping them keep Aylee alive, and Riff was helping him with his 'evil' issues. After to constant encounters with a naked Gwynn, he gained a severe crush on her which appears to have ended after she kicked him immensely hard in the privates. When Aylee's latest form emerged, Schlock tried to escape (with Riff's Dimensional Flux Agitator in tow) without being detected, but ended up chased by both Hereti-Corp and the government. He evaded both for a time, but offered to make a deal with Hereti-Corp by offering them a functional Dimensional Flux Agitator, in turn receiving a share of the company's stock and the position of the head of R&D. However, he had been secretly buying Hereti-Corp stock through a number of shell companies, and managed to acquire a controlling interest in the company, proceeding to make himself CEO and fire Daedalus. Later, he used Kusari to get rid of the government agents tracking him by killing them. Though expressing reluctance to having taken such an evil path in the first place, he now intends to continue Hereti-Corp's plans for world domination. Killum : Daedelus' personal attache; i.e. lead thug. Calm, efficient, and very good at his job. He piloted a very large, powerful robot, and destroyed the Mark V with a sonic blast. During the fighting, Riff's truck, which was loaded with high explosives, crashed into Killum's robot and took a sonic blast, and Killum died in the resulting inferno. Killum used to fight aliens as a member of Z-COM, serving under General Mayhem. Dr. Richard Kirko : The geneticist responsible for the Aylee project. Had a smoldering rivalry with Chen. Kirko managed to steal Dr. Schlock's cloned cocoon of Aylee and coerce Schlock into working for him. Kirko was killed in the explosion set by Riff that destroyed the entire Aylee project save the Aylee clone herself.Kusari: An assassin working for Hereti-Corp. She refers to herself as Oasis' "sister," and likely was created through similar (unknown) means. Unlike Oasis, she is very level-headed in combat. She spent most of her time on the Oasis retrieval project. She also has the ability to be "rebuilt," or otherwise "replaced" after her death, though her personality remains relatively stable in contrast with Oasis' alternating bouts of insanity. She was killed by Oasis in a failed attempt to kill Zoë, but has come back to life (maybe even the same way as Oasis). She has been appointed head of security by Dr. Schlock. Her name is Japanese for 'chain' and seems to relate to her favourite weapons; she uses two kusari-gamas.Marcus Chen: Another high-ranking Hereti-Corp man. Chen developed the Kusari project. He spent most of his time attempting to retrieve Oasis, before a failed plan that resulted in Kusari's death got that project cancelled. He was briefly reassigned to the Aylee project, but sabotaged it by "accidentally" letting Gwynn see Aylee kill an employee. He briefly became CEO of Hereti-Corp, but only to take the fall for Daedelus and the others when the company was exposed to the world.Gahad Dan-Met: A woman who was in charge of Intel at the Hereti-Corp board meetings. Briefly worked at Burger Meister with the others as Hereti-Corp recovered. Shortly before Hereti-Corp was ready for its resurrection, however, she attended the fateful Clongressive meeting and was turned into a zombie geek. She was most likely killed when the organic rocket ship she was on burned up on re-entry; she is listed as dead.Roberts: A rather disgruntled Hereti-Corp officer of questionable competence. He was in charge of the HC Freelancer project, of which Riff was a member. He is very sarcastic, even in the face of death threats from Daedelus. He worked with Daedalus, Kusari, and Dan-Met at Burger Meister and was a major brown-noser, and now works alongside Kusari. He has angered Daedalus on numerous occasions, yet is for some reason spared his wrath. Wears a strange device on his head, the purpose of which is unknown.Frog: A random frog in a sewer, he received sentience and fluency in English by eating one of the Clonegressive Mindswarm bugs, causing him to scream "Good job, God! Granting self awareness to something that LIVES IN THE PLUMBING!". Following Hereti-Corp's investigation, Frog was found and became their Marketing head. His personal assistant is fellow (non-sentient) frog Corsica. Mr Gennaro : The head of R&D. A new recruit to Hereti-Corp, he killed his co-worker and boss at Burger Meister with a great-tasting but artery-hardening cheese pizza, and handed an improved non-fatal recipe to Daedelus, which is said to be the linchpin for rebirth. He originally worked in the Marketing division and was disgruntled to find he's outranked by two frogs ("I killed my boss and co-workers for this?") and later Dr. Schlock's balloon avatar. However, upon Dr. Schlock's gaining power in the company, Gennaro was promoted to the position Schlock would have otherwise held. Cloney : A clone of Aylee made by Dr. Schlock, was later brainwashed to believe that she was the real Aylee with amnesia. She was a large, crab-like creature with massive claws and smaller arms, the result of torture by Hereti Corp that forced her to adapt. She considered Aylee to be weak and tried to kill her former friends. Was killed by Aylee and Torg using the "Unholy Evil Death Bringer" sword, which decapitated her.
The Demons of the Dimension of Pain
The Dimension of Pain is an evil world where demons thrive and all goodness has been driven out. This is not to be confused with Hell
because Satan does exists in the continuity, (as father of the EVIL and as master of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse) but does not live in the Dimension of Pain. An oft-heard comment on all things related to the dimension is "How evil." The Dimension of Pain is introduced when Torg is accidentally sent there by the Dimensional Flux-Agitator early on in Sluggy Freelance's pages.
The Dimension of Pain is magically linked to several similar dimensions, such as the Dimension of Grief, the Dimension of Swelling and Numbness and the Dimension of Crabby Chain-Smoking Biddies, and some denizens of these dimensions are also numbered in this list.Horribus/Horb : Former Demon Lord of the Dimension of Pain, Horribus was large, mean, and very proud (though sometimes not very bright). He was granted aristocracy and lordship after leading the forces of the Dimension of Pain to victory after the accidental death of the previous ruler, Lord Atrocioun. As a Demon Lord, he had the ability to emit an aura of fire (often when angry) that could destroy other demons, and was only vulnerable to attacks made against his neck (more difficult because of shoulder horns that impede horizontal swings), or through the center of his soul (chest).
- Though proving himself incompetent as a leader, Horribus managed to retain his position for many years after Torg's initial escape from the Dimension of Pain. He led an unsuccessful counter-attack against the First Dragon of Annoyia (who was thwarted by Reakk, no less), fired and re-hired Reakk as his personal crony, and would send one of his demons into Torg's realm every Halloween in multiple botched attempts to kill or capture Torg. The latter events, especially, would prove to be Horribus' downfall; when the Dimension of Pain invaded the Dimension of Lame, Horribus diverted more demonpower into finding the dimension-lost Torg than conquering the world, leading to his defeat. In the midst of a heated chase to catch Torg, who had fled to the Dimension of Pain with Alt-Zoë and Alt-Bunbun, Horribus killed Mospinispinosp and Alt-Zoë; Torg, enraged, first went to attack him, but then chose to knock him down into a pit instead, buying him enough time to save Alt-Alt-Torg and the Goddess of Goodness locked in the Demon King's freezer.
- The aftermath of the battle leaves the Demons stuck back in the Dimension of Pain, the portal to the DoL closed off by the Goddess. The other demons gathered as Horribus was stripped of his aristocracy, returning him to his thinner "Horb" form. The Demon King crushed Horb's back and legs with one hand and discarded him, broken, into the abyss below, crowning a new Demon King to the Dimension of Pain. Horb's true fate is undetermined at this time.Reakk : An incredibly stupid demon and right-hand man to Horribus. Reakk's actions more often than not end up landing himself and the others into severe trouble. Amongst his mishaps, he accidentally killed Lord Atrocioun with a shortened Hellspear (he thought Horb had told him to "shorten it" as opposed to "sharpen it"), and woke up the first and second Dragons of Annoyia. He has performed some good actions somewhat by accident, however, such as driving the first Dragon of Annoyia away by being launched at its nose (earning him the (self-given) title of Reakk the Dragon Boinker), and using the Evil Super Mop of the Heavens to clear a path to the Dimension of Lame. He was best friends with Psyk and Mospinispinosp before the former was promoted and the latter(s?) were killed. He was the only demon to stay loyal to Horribus during the Dimension of Lame invasion, while everyone else followed Psyk. He was even caught weeping at Horribus' demotion, showing that he cared more for his former boss than he let on. A line of dialogue during The Fall may imply he was not always a demon, but further details are unknown Psyk/Psykosis : A somewhat portly cyclopean demon, and perhaps one of the most intelligent of the Dimension of Pain demons. While Horribus could be seen as a man of action, Psyk relied on careful planning and thought. Loyal to Horribus at the start, he became increasingly frustrated at the unhealthy obsession Horribus had with catching Torg, especially during the That Which Redeems storyline, going so far as to try and act against him. One such action results in Horribus snapping off and eating Psyk's right ear-horn, which, over time, develops into a disgusting black infection.
- When Horribus' rage at Torg reached its climax and led to the brutal murder of Mospinispinosp, whom Psyk considered to be three of his best friends, Psyk finally got the nerve to walk away from Horribus in one desperate bid to finish what they started in the Dimension of Lame. Reakk caught up to Psyk, asking what to do next...when Psyk brushed him off and told him to go ask another demon for help, Reakk stopped him and pointed out that "everyone else is following you!"
- The aftermath of That Which Redeems sees Horribus stripped of his aristocracy, broken, and discarded into the abyss by the Demon King. Psyk, alone in his tent, was working on an acceptance speech as the Dimension of Pain's new Demon Lord, and the full extent of his infection was revealed--it had grown to encompass a good portion of the right side of his head and was affecting his ability to think properly, causing sharp head pain and dizziness. As the Demon King granted Psyk his aristocracy, the role as the Dimension's new Demon Lord and the title "Psykosis," not only did he regain his lost horn (which now looks like a set of antlers with his left ear-horn), but the infection spread even more, taking up about half of his head and spreading down to his neck. Disregarding his speech entirely, Lord Psykosis' first words as Demon Lord are, "Ahem. My fellow demons and demonesses...I ROCK!" At the bottom of the page following this, read the words "The Beginning."
- There is much speculation as to how Psykosis will act and reign in Horribus' stead. Many Sluggites think that his name, taking a different direction from other Demon Lords we have heard from so far, implies that Psykosis will prove to be as unstable as Horribus, if not more so. Only time will tell. However, it would seem that demons granted aristocracy have their names lengthened, so Psykosis' new moniker may only be ornamental, much as Horb became Horribus. Additionally, given that Psyk is not as obsessed with Torg as Horribus is, his and the rest of the Dimension's involvement with the main cast may have ended.Isp, Osp and Mosp/Mospinispinosp/Asp, Asp and Amospia : Initially named "Asp" and "Asp," Isp and Osp were two snake-like archers serving under the Demon King in the hostile takeover of what would become the Dimension of Pain. In a botched attempt to kill Mosp, then "Amospia," as a twisted way of thanking her for betraying her people and allowing the demons into the city, the two Asps are merged with Amospia by a wizard wielding the Spear of Calmadar. The wizard, stripping Amospia of her name and mouth, was killed by the two Asps (now attached to Amospia by the hair) wielding Mosp's twin arm blades. The two Asps figured it would be confusing to continue to be referred to as "Asp" in this form and settled on a compromise: one would go by "Isp," and the other by "Osp." Thanks to the wizard's curse, neither of them acknowledged or even realized the third part to make up their body, and Mosp, unable to speak, remained silent for millennia.
- By the time the Dimension of Pain was first introduced, Isp and Osp had grown adjusted to their new body and were often deployed as witty comic relief. The two of them were sent to attack Torg during Halloween of 2001, but when Isp and Osp downed a bottle of Crystal's Turpenwine (resulting in the two getting hammered), Mosp temporarily gained control. Torg then broke the wizard's curse on her by asking for her name--she scratched it into the floor, and as Isp and Osp regained sobriety, the sun rose and Halloween ended. This resulted in a demonic trial for Isp, Osp and Mosp, presided by Horribus with Psyk acting as the trio's lawyer and Reakk on prosecution; it was during this short span that they gained their collective name of "Mospinispinosp." ;
- Mospinispinosp would serve one last big role during the storyline, That Which Redeems. Mosp not only helps Torg evade detection by Sweral and Tryka, but silences Isp and Osp by putting on clip-on-earrings that keep their jaws pressed shut. And in one last defining moment, Mosp attempts to kill Horribus so Torg can free the Goddess of Goodness from the Demon King's freezer, but she aimed just a little bit too highand missed Horribus' dark soul. Horribus then generated his aura of fire and used it to consume Mospinispinosp, despite Isp and Osps pleas for mercy and claims that they were "not with her". The fire burned all three until nothing remained but their skeleton, which Horribus manhandled and threw at the base of the Mountain of Bones which the Demon King's home sat upon. In fact, it is Mospinispinosp's death that drives Psyk to finally turn his back on Horribus in hopes of salvaging what he can in the Dimension of Lame. In the end, a card with Mosp's picture on it appeared in Alt-Gwynn's deck of Tarot cards, labelled "redemption."Tryka : A three-eyed, centaurian demon who is cowardly and prone to thinking more with her stomach. Tryka has a voracious appetite, and tends to eat the pets of high-ranking demons. She is usually sentenced to manning the viewing pool with Sweral, or guarding the portal after the pool was destroyed. She has issues with her mother, likely because the latter has already eaten Tryka's sister Stryka and wants to eat her, too. She and Sweral help Torg, Alt-Zoë and Alt-Bunbun against their better judgement. It has been speculated by some fans that the pair will replace Psyk and Mospinispinosp as Reakk's new best friends as the former was promoted to Demon Lord and the latter was killed by Horribus.Sweral : A blue demon covered with spiral designs. He is good friends with Tryka, although her pet-eating habit chagrins him to no end. He also is said to have once had a bad recap habit, as well as a literary flashback habit before that. He and Tryka help Torg, Alt-Zoë and Alt-Bunbun against their better judgement. The pair are likely to replace Psyk and Mospinispinosp as Reakk's new best friends as the former was promoted to Demon Lord and the latter was killed by Horribus. Sweral has also appeared several times in the background of Dimension of Pain storylines that take place before That Which Redeems.Demon Kiki/Alt-Alt Kiki : This Kiki was first shown living in the Dimension of Lame, except her attitude was more like that of the original Bunbun's (while Alt-Bunbun acted more like the original Kiki). Demon Kiki was stabbed by Psyk with the Spear of Calmadar and transformed into a demon whose appearance didn't change much--she looks the same, except she can open up her mouth almost the entire length of her body, has numerous sharp fangs, and can breathe fire. She was scooped up by the Goddess of Goodness and pushed into the Dimension of Pain with many other demons inhabiting the Dimension of Lame. It turns out that this Kiki didn't originate from the DoL, and that the original Alt-Kiki was killed in the same fission popcorn experiment that took Torg's life; to compensate, Alt-Riff and Alt-Zoë pulled the evil version of Kiki (Alt-Alt-Kiki) and another Torg (Alt-Alt-Torg) from other dimension(s) to serve as replacements.
- Demon Kiki is smarter than most of the demons who she has come to live with, and easily frustrated by their stupidity. However, she seems to consider them better company than the residents of the Dimension of Lame (even those who have been turned into demons).The Demon King : Ruler and overlord of all realms overseen by the Dimension of Pain, The Demon King is a very large, very imposing figure made of something like living shadow. The Demon King founded the Dimension of Pain by defeating the Goddess of Goodness and sealing her away in a resealable plastic bag and placing it in the bottom of his freezer. The Demon King (usually) chooses the Demon Lords who rule the Dimension of Pain in his name; he has the ability to grant regular demons the requisite status of aristocracy, which turns them into larger, more 'demonic' versions of themselves. He's a godlike figure to the demons and does not often interact with them directly. He was recently injured and scarred by Chaz the talking sword as Torg made his escape from the Dimension of Pain once and for all. According to Chaz, it would be relatively easy for such a sword to kill an ethereal Demon King, and even coming in contact with the blade somewhat indirectly was enough to cause the injuries. His house rests on top of a large mountain of bones in the Elder Village, said to be the place where he fought the Goddess of Goodness. Aside from being absurdly large, his house looks like the average home found in suburbia, although his refrigerator--one of the kinds with vertical doors--has the freezer section on the wrong side. He also keeps demonic newspapers nearby, which contain comic strips such as "Garfield burns IN HEL!" and "Cathy burns IN HEL!" (sic)Futz : A small, bat-like demon. Futz, being small and fast, is often used as a messenger. He is also fairly strong for his size, often seen carrying the Demon Spear of Calmadar with little effort.Sheriff Tarnashun : A sheriff demon with a thick, Western-movie accent. It is possible, though not confirmed either way, that he was one of those created by the Spear of Calmadar. Tarnashun was one of the few demons who suspected that Torg's magic sword was harmless when not glowing red, though he would not stake his life on it. He and his posse confronted Torg at Lady Gwynn's house, and they were all slain in the ensuing melee after Alt-Fred sacrificed himself to recover Torg's sword. Alt-Alt-Kiki, however, escaped to inform Horribus of what Torg was planning.Bubbamonicus : A large, green aristocratic demon who continually chews on a smaller, wheat-shaped demon. Due to his lineage, he was a proposed successor to Lord Atrocioun, but the Demon King chose Horribus instead because Bubbamonicus had not fought in the war. He nearly killed Torg during the soul caravan fight, but Lady Gwynn deflected his club and Torg immediately impaled him.Atrocioun : Not much to say about Demon Lord Atrocioun. He preceded Horribus as Demon Lord and was leading a successful attack on the city that would eventually become the Dimension of Pain when Reakk threw an accidentally-shortened Hellspear through his dark soul, making him "kind-of dead." Horribus (known as Horb at the time) took command of Atrociouns operation and was promoted at the battle's end by the Demon King into Demon Lord Horribus.Borborb : Horribus, Terribus and Deplora's youngest brother, he has only shown up for one panel--and it was in a flashback, before any of them had gained their Aristocracy. His role is unknown, as unlike Terb and Deplora, he has not been seen before or since.Terribus/Terb : Horribus' younger, very ambitious brother. After Horribus was banished to the surface for his failure to capture Torg at Halloween 2002, Terribus tried to become the new lord of the dimension of pain using such underhanded tactics as attempting to rig the election with confusing ballots and selling his soul to a mortal politician. This attempt at selling his soul ended up letting an Angel of Goodness into the realm temporarily transforming the Dimension of Pain into a Dimension of Joy. Terribus has also attempted to pose as the Demon King and attempted a hostile takeover of the nearby Dimension of Grief (ruled by his sister Deplora) when Spam-flavored Grief rained down. He currently exists as part of "Jeruozplorter."Deplora/Plorb : Horribus' sister and Demon Lord of the Dimension of Grief, she is more intelligent and cunning than her brother, though still seems to suffer from the same amount of mishaps as he does. She seems to have had a relationship long ago with Satan that ended up souring quite badly.
- She tried to take over the Torg's dimension after she learned that her brother Horribus was in the Dimension of Lame, but failed mostly due to her usage of the Four Horsemen of Inconvenience (the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse had been bought out by Satan long ago). She then was left to save her dimension from the flood of Spam-Grief, but shortly thereafter, had her aristocracy revoked due to Horribus' bumbling. She recovered her enhanced essence in time to face Jerri, but Jerri impaled her. She currently exists as part of "Jeruozplorter." Some of these events should be considered non-canon or B canon.Steve Uozin : Originally a demon-hunter hired by Riff to protect Torg from the demon being sent on Halloween, Steve was turned into a demon by the Demon Spear Calmadar, wielded by Psyk. Steve, a parody of Steve Irwin, is highly prone to doing very annoying things to demons. He currently exists as part of "Jeruozplorter."The Demon Spear Calmadar : While not technically a demon, it has played a fairly important role. The Demon Spear Calmadar (which looks like a squid on a stick) has the ability to transform whomever is stabbed by it into a demon of the Dimension of Pain. Among the individuals who have been turned into demons by this method are Steve Uozin (The Demon Hunter), Alt-Riff, Alt-Alt-Kiki and Amospia. At the time of last said transformation - chronologically the first - the spear was for some reason in the possession of a human wizard, and was left behind when he died; when Horribus retrieved it (later, but as its first appearance in the comic) it was in the same Elder Village but mounted on a stand and guarded by a fierce creature. What might have happened to it in between, apart from the artist changing his mind, is unknown.The Grief Monarch : The Demon King equivalent of the Dimension of Grief. He appears to cry continuously, and considers it a fine point in Quxxle that he betrayed his trust and had a one-eon stand with the Grief Monarch's girlfriend. In the final "Meanwhile in the Dimension Of-", he accidentally created "Jeruozplorter."Jerri : Steve Uozin's camera-demon and girlfriend. She follows Steve around, recording his 'show'. Her and Steve's child was eaten by a large monster when Steve dangled the child in front of it, although its remaining arm was still capable of movement and speech at least until Deplora bit it. Jerri is also the daughter of the Grief Monarch. She is a parody of Steve Irwin's wife and camera girl Terri. Near the end of "Meanwhile in the Dimension of *", she returned to the Dimension of Grief, and revealed that Deplora tried to have her killed, before stabbing Steve, Deplora, and Terribus with her right arm, which she transformed into a spike. She currently exists as part of "Jeruozplorter."Quuxxle/Quxxcruciata : A five-eyed demon with the power to open dimensional portals, who was typically in the service of either Terribus or his siblings. He was briefly the lord of the Dimension of Grief until his head was devoured by his own offspring (which died shortly thereafter when Quxxcruciata's horn pierced its heart). Jeruozplorter: In the final MitDO* strip, Deplora (Plorb used a magic copier to preserve her powers of aristocracy in the event that Horribus would lose them due to his slight incompetence), Terb, Steve Uozin, and Jerri were accidentally merged with one another into "Jeruozplorter," the new ruler of the Dimension of Grief, by the Grief Monarch, as Jerri had impaled the other three and mixed their blood. He/she/it is a grotesquely deformed blob with various features that once belonged to the individual demons. Many consider it to be Ian McDonald's version of "the skunk's last fart."
Friends of the Cast
Angela : The brief girlfriend of Dex and Torg. Her relationship with Dex was described as fluctuating. After all her college friends were killed by The Evil, Angela was committed to an asylum and developed an extreme fear of cats. Upon leaving, she bought a dog, named Koji, for protection, who was first mentioned here
and appears first here.
She came to live with Torg at the Brie Meighsaton house and became his girlfriend. After she was possessed by Beth, she considered leaving the house, but a voice in her head convinced her to stay. Unfortunately, she never got the chance, as Bert's pet cat Titian jumped on her head, triggering a massive regression and returning her to the asylum. She was later abducted by the Arny during KITTEN II, and was catatonic throughout the ensuing carnage. Arminius Vambrey : A paranoid, old vampire
hunter who wears tweed, Arminius is Kent's uncle. Tends to find signs of vampirism in everything, and is always prepared to fight his paranormal foes. Although these traits make him appear very strange to most people, they have kept him alive. Buys vampire hunting equipment from Riff. He has already killed Grabrijan and is currently attempting to hunt down Philinnon. Bert Benigni : One of Torg's old college friends and an artist with an unhealthy obsession with crotches. Bert was one of the quirkier characters, largely due to his limited verbal range (often using just the words "bah!" and "crotch" to represent entire sentences), but he also had a very low alcohol tolerance
, severe misogyny
, and precognitive powers
Bert has had few shining moments--initially part of the original trip taken down to the backwater town of Wispydale, he was one of the five characters to survive the B-horror parody KITTEN, although at the price of his crotch (which got replaced with a baboon crotch transplant). He would later be possessed by the ghost of Brie Meighsaton, a long-dead bride and co-owner of the house Bert shared with Torg, Riff, Sasha and Angela.
- Bert met his untimely demise in a return to Wispydale, where he was kidnapped by the Arny, a group of faux-soldiers bent on controlling the satanic kittens. KITTEN II saw Bert die via decapitation when one of the kittens leaped at his head, knocking it clean off. His dying cry was "VIVA LA CROTCH!". Bert made a post-mortem return, coming back to the Meighsaton House as a ghost so that he could convince Torg to finish his masterpiece, a picture whose only missing part was "an irregularly shaped inverted triangly-thingy." Torg completes the picture at an arm's length, with his eyes closed, which grants Bert his final passage, but before he can rise up to heaven, he starts sinking into the kitchen floor. Bert spends most of the rest of the Kesandru's Well storyline stuck in the floor, and is almost saved by Sam and Beth from being sucked into the well itself as it teleports to hell, but he slipped out of Beth's grasp. When a hole opens from hell to heaven, allowing the ghosts to go free, Bert rose up from the well and was the last to leave alongside Beth. Cloaked like Obi-Wan Kenobi, his final words were "May the crotch be with you, always."Broadman and Midget : Zoë's former co-hosts at KBLAM, their radio gimmick is to talk with potty-mouths and be offensive on air in the hope of getting ratings. The actual sight of female skin causes them to fall into stunned comas. After several months of being recurring characters, it was revealed that Broadman was the dwarf and Mike Midgetski was the large broad-shouldered one. Broadman is extremely touchy about people assuming he's a midget, and outside of work is a "Vampires: The Pretension" LARPer and takes martial arts. He is also surprisingly clean mouthed when off the air; the worst of it being the phrase "gosh darned" which he uttered in a fit of rage. Broadman is fired after Mr. Chalmers mistook his shouting "I OWNS YOU COWS" as a sign of ownership instead of humiliation, after the cows destroyed Mr. Chalmers' house party. Midgetski continues to work with Zoë in a show now called "Bean and Jetski", Zoë's on-air alias being "Lesley Bean".Dex: Zoë's former boyfriend. He was eaten by kittens in horror parody "Kitten". Before then he was stalked by Torg (and Bert), and once called Zoë boring, inspiring her to use Riff's time machine to go into the past in an attempt to show she could be adventurous and ending up battling K'Z'K. Zoë seemed quite upset over his death but was not as upset as Angela was. Jenny: Riff's lab assistant in Alaska, who works with him on vampire hunting gadgets due to having gambled her family away to vampires. However, several defective gadgets severely harmed the business. Additionally seems to have worked on an "apparatus" with Riff before sending it to "Jansen," who may be related to Kada Jansen of Oceans Unmoving. Is currently on the lam, most likely the result of killing an argyria-ridden (due to Riff's colloidal anti-vampire silver pills) vampire hunter whom she mistook for a zombie.Kent: One of Zoë's former workmates, who is skeptical to the point at which he believes that the Vykrolak vampires who kidnap him in Boys' Night Out are "Vampire LARPers." He was fired for expressing his view that poor people should have their right to assembly revoked. He is a brutal businessman, relying on tactics that most definitely violate antitrust laws. He opened a lemonade stand to compete with Torg and Riff once. He drove them out of business, but his stand was acquired by his morally ambiguous business partner, Donald Trump.Lucy: An inhabitant of Wispydale who accompanied Riff in his search for Torg and Zoë. She knew the area around Wispydale well, and led Torg and Delaware to the bridge, before finding out that it was down and that Delaware had taken off with the map. The two rejoined Dart's group, and Lucy was killed when the Evil attacked.Monica: Riff's previous girlfriend, who likes to play head games with people and as such was quite willing to go on dating him after finding out how messed up his relationship with women is. Recently, Monica has moved into the apartment above Torg and Riff, and has been revealed to be a member of Chilus/Meander's K'z'k cult. Mr. Middleman: Torg and Riff's employer during their time as Freelance Bums, Mr. Middleman contracts Riff and Torg for odd jobs. Although he has a habit of behaving as if he were a Mafia Don, most if not all of the jobs he has assigned Torg and Riff have been perfectly legal and not at all immoral. These have included babysitting, getting the mayor kilted (as opposed to killed), taking candy from a baby and leading a horse to water. Brian Rammer: A top-ranking agent at the Homeland of National Security in the Sluggy-Prime dimension, he was killed by Kusari while trying to track down Dr Schlock and Aylee, believing her to be related to the demonic Rithuly. In the Dimension of Ghouls, he is the Secretary of Defence for what remains of the USA, tasked with protecting humanity's survivors and their agricultural gardens from the ghouls. Sasha : Another of Riff's ex-girlfriends. Played the role of straight woman in Zoë's absence, although she was strangely accepting of the weird situations she often found herself in. She also seemed to have some of Riff's knack for inventing, though her inventions seemed to be far more reliable than his. She moved to Seattle in 2002 and has not been seen since. Her accomplishments during her time in the strip include helping to discover the origin of Zoë's necklace and inventing the Dimensional Flux Agitator's remote.The Super Robot : A giant heavily armed robot developed by Riff. It spends a good deal of its time as a disembodied arm that Riff works on, and the main chassis has gone through three known incarnations. The original incarnation was stolen by Bun-bun to rob banks. It was recovered and fell apart afterwards. The second incarnation was used to fight Oasis, although its twinkie-based weaponry was eaten by Kiki. The Mk III and IV were never seen, but close to where the Mk V was stored, the area was partially liquefied. The Mk V was developed for the purpose of fighting the K'Z'K-possessed Gwynn, and was made autonomous by its AI, which used an old See'n'Say. Later, the Mk V was used to infiltrate Hereti-Corp with Oasis. During the fighting at AyleeOrgNet. Com, it was destroyed by Killum's Sonic Blast. Unholy Evil Death Bringer: Torg's sentient sword. It is also known as "Weeping God" and "Chaz". It can speak when "charged" with innocent blood (often starting with the oft times comically inappropriate "Hello, master. Who shall we kill today?"), and claims the ability to kill "most things that can be killed" when in its charged state. It was forged at an undetermined date by a blacksmith named "Bob." Through the ages, it has served many masters, including a madman out to atone for past sins through a genocidal crusade, and a friend of the madman who killed him and took the sword. It was acquired by Warlord Torgamus by unknown means, then Torg, after being accidentally blasted into the past, took the sword with him to the present. The sword was used mostly as a joke (Torg even used it to threaten a centipede), but Torg learned of its power when the Dimension of Lame's Bert accidentally impaled himself on it and Torg killed a demon with it.
In Sluggy there is a physical being who runs each holiday, including Santa Claus
, the Easter Bunny
, and the Groundhog Shadow
. Bun-Bun holds a long-standing grudge particularly against Santa, which has culminated every Christmas.
All holidays have some control over their own relation to time, and determine the traditions observed during their holiday. The cooperation of several holidays is required to fully rewrite the rules. Destroying a holiday transfers the duties to the killer, if the killer claims them, a process known as the right of caste.Santa Claus : The patron of Christmas. Along with his other obligations, he was the only being with the power to use the Three Deus Ex Ovums before Bun-bun stole that privilege by killing him. He has had a long-standing feud with Bun-bun, though the details are unclear. It is known, however, that many years past he used the Ovum on Bun-bun and threw him out of time. Bun-bun was left with partial amnesia after he escaped, but nevertheless tried to kill Claus every year for several years afterwards. In 1999, Bun-bun's Furby bomb destroyed Santa's workshop. After failing to kill him with his Mecha Easter Bunny, Santa cloistered himself away in a space station. While in space, he was infected with a mutagenic spore which turned him into an alien vulnerable only to Nerf weapons. He was killed by Bun-bun in 2003, and then resurrected, sans alien DNA, when the Deus Ex Ovum was used later that year. In 2006, Bun-bun fired Kiki at his sleigh, causing presents to fall all over the highway. However, given that Bun-bun knows that killing Santa can make him Santa Claus, and doubts whether Santa banished him before, what he will do in the future is unknown. Mrs. Claus : Santa's wife. She often leads in the absence of her husband. After Santa became an alien, she took the duty of organizing the holidays to combat Bun-Bun. She was captured when Bun-Bun took Thanksgiving. Bun-Bun's Shadow, solidified by Bun-Bun's newfound holiday strength, catapulted her into orbit. She was returned when the Ovum was used. The Elves : Elves come in multiple varieties, depending on their job; Christmas elves work under Santa, while the Neebler elves bake cookies (see: Keebler). The Black Op elves run the massive intelligence agency which Santa uses to determine his naughty/nice list. After Santa turned into an alien, Bun-Bun took over a section of the agency, led by Squishydodo, and used them as (rather incompetent) lackeys for multiple purposes, including the defeat of the alien Santa. Other important elves include Squeekybobo and Slappyhoho. The Groundhog's Shadow : Patron of Groundhog's Day. Originally a shade in Halloween. Bun-Bun summoned it with the Book of E-Ville in hopes of removing his Easter patronage, but Torg accidentally bound it to Bun-Bun with an ambient halogen light. It mostly tortured Bun-Bun with karaoke before 2002's misguided attempt to save Santa revealed to Bun-Bun the value of holidays. The shadow then became Bun-Bun's main source of information on holidays. It was briefly given solidity when Bun-Bun acquired a majority of the holidays. The shadow foolishly slew 2003 seconds before the year ended, forcing Bun-Bun to use the Ovum. The Ovum returned the shadow back to its original groundhog. Easter Bunny : Patron of Easter. Accidentally crushed underfoot when Bun-Bun commandeered the Super Robot Mk I. Later brought back by Santa as the Mecha Easter Bunny, a killer cyborg designed to deliver eggs and destroy Bun-Bun and Tokyo. It succeeded in two tasks, but Bun-Bun managed to trick it into a vat of molten metal. Bun-Bun then assumed Easter for himself, unaware of the consequences. The Easter Bunny was restored when the Ovum was used. The Pumpkinheaded King of Halloween: Patron of Halloween after Basphomy. The Pumpkinheaded King, a blatant parody of Jack Skellington, is somewhat light-hearted in his terrorizing, as opposed to the cruel and more sinister Basphomy. The land of Halloween is separated from the rest of the world by the Obsidian Gate. As his name implies, The King's head is a constantly changing carved pumpkin, rendering him immune to weapons that slice and puncture (like switchblades and glocks, Bunbun's weapons of choice), but leaves him prone to bludgeoning weapons, like Basphomy's mallet. He was the first intentional victim of Bun-Bun's war against the holidays, but was restored to life when Bunbun used the third and last Deus ex Ovum. The Pumpkinheaded King of Halloween cared for Kiki for a few months, and proved himself to be the worst bedtime storyteller ever. Basphomy : Former patron of Halloween. The council voted to remove her powers when she became too dangerous, and King Pumpkinhead keeps the Obsidian Gate up out of fear of her. She has the power to expose her enemies to their greatest fears, as well as communicate through dreams. She is very ambitious, and helped Bun-Bun kill the Pumpkinhead King. Bun-Bun feared her ambition, however, and upon acquiring godlike powers after killing Santa, he trapped her and her minions in an Obsidian cage, to be released only every October 31st. She was presumably released when the Ovum was used, though it has been speculated that she remains in the cage. Mr. Stiks : One of Basphomy's monsters. Stiks is a poorly-built marionette that was granted life. Stiks believed that he was shunned because he had no hands or feet, and asked Basphomy for help. She convinced him to murder his maker and steal his extremities. Because of his evil, Stiks' body was cursed to constantly waste away, forcing him to find new replacement parts. Stiks proved instrumental in Bun-Bun's attack on Thanksgiving, stealing the head and wings of a turkey to smuggle Bun-Bun into the castle. 2002 : The embodiment of the year 2002, goes by the alias "Martha Stewart." Like all physical manifestations of single years, 2002 was incredibly stupid, having had only one year to acquire all his knowledge. He was, however, foresighted enough to know that Bun-bun could potentially defeat Santa, then eventually overthrow enough holidays to become a god. To prevent this, 2002 sent Bun-bun an anonymous note warning him that killing Santa would forcibly bind him to the laws of Christmas. That failed in its primary goal (Bun-bun simply tried to get Kiki to do it), but 2002 still felt the need to tell Bun-bun to his face. That planted what an angry, time-travelling 2003 called "a seed of knowledge" that paved the way for Holiday Wars. 2003 : The embodiment of the year 2003, who can't even tie his shoes. He somehow managed to travel back in time to before Christmas 2003 and warn Santa that Bun-bun, in spite of 2002's advice, was plotting to kill him through Kiki. Santa sent a Combat Drone down the chimney in lieu of himself, saving his own life (the first 2003 came from a future in which Kiki ruled Christmas). He then chastised 2002 for revealing himself. When, in the main timeline, Bun-bun's Halloween army approached Thanksgiving Castle, 2003 begged, in vain, for the alien Santa to use the final Deus Ex Ovum. After Bun-bun's deification, 2003 stole the Deus Ex Ovum and lured him to the Tower of Time. Aged and mere seconds from death, he allowed the Shadow to kill him, knowing that this would seal Bun-bun's fate. After Bun-bun chose to use the Ovum and nullify all his Holiday powers rather than perish, 2003 was very briefly resurrected just in time to coronate 2004 before fading away. Mutagenic Spore Aliens : Not intrinsically connected with any holiday but appearing only during holiday stories, the unnamed spores have the power to reconstruct their victims at a genetic level, turning them into monsters under their control. Their infections first manifest as an apparent "disease" before the victim becomes a zombie-like creature. As the victim's DNA degenerates, they occasionally become able to shapeshift. Eventually, they succumb and become monstrous aliens. A substance known as RSR ("Rock 'em Sock 'em Robots") Gas forces immediate resolution, transforming an infectee instantly into either an alien or a normal creature depending on the progression of the infection. As they are immune to all weapons except explosives and Nerf, the aliens assumed Santa was Earth's main weapons distributor and infected him while he was in space. As Santa, even in his alien state, was bound by the laws of the holidays, they infected Jack Frost in hopes of spreading their spores via snowfall. Shortly before Bun-Bun attacked Thanksgiving, the alien Santa ate all other aliens to absorb their power for the upcoming fight. As the spores only managed to infect holiday beings, they were all destroyed as the Deus Ex Ovum cured their victims.
The Dimension of Lame guys
The Dimension of Lame has no beer (fermentation itself is unknown to Riff), sugar, salt, and very few foodstuffs other than rice cakes. Having never encountered evil until recently, they have no word for it but "rather nice" in opposition to "extremely wonderful". All swearing is censored out by a "beep" noise. It features mirror alternatives to many Sluggy characters in a 'lame', innocent way; the fans prefix the alternates as "Alt-" and postfix the originals as "Prime".Alt-Riff : Transformed into a demon, and eventually doomed to lead the remaining demonized denizens of the DoL, as the others look to him for leadership. Because of his origin, his most evil act as a demon so far is grimacing to little girls, which he feels guilty for. Long before the invasion of the Dimension of Pain, an accident involving one of his inventions killed Alt-Torg and Alt-Kiki. Afterwards, he tried to make his dimension's Zoë happy by kidnapping Torgs from various dimensions in an attempt to make things right. Unlike Riff-Prime, Alt-Riff builds only inventions of a helpful, useful and above all non-violent nature, including, for example, the Retreat-bot. His inventions also seem to have a higher success rate than Riff-Prime's. Any change to this after his demonization has yet to be reported.Alt-Torg : Alt-Zoë's husband, not actually drawn anywhere but referenced multiple times. He was killed in an accident involving one of Alt-Riff's inventions.Alt-Zoë : Innocent, playful and extremely kind. Torg-Prime fell for her, but she never told him he was a replacement for her lost husband. She was killed by Lord Horribus while attempting to reach the Demon King's lair.Alt-Alt-Torg : This macho and opportunistic type is not originally from the Dimension of Lame; he was one of the Torgs Alt-Riff kidnapped from various dimensions to try and serve as a replacement for the deceased Alt-Torg. He has a tough-guy tattoo, and thinks Alt-Zoë had a great body but was kind of ditzy; he is "happy he can have any girl now." He was bludgeoned in the head by Torg Prime when he refused to go to Alt-Zoë's funeral.Alt-Kiki : Another character never drawn out. She was killed in the same accident that killed Alt-Torg.Alt-Alt-Kiki : Has the basic attitude of Bun-Bun Prime, despite being more cruel than cunning, and is another character not originally from the Dimension of Lame. Alt-Riff kidnapped her from another dimension to serve as a replacement for Alt-Kiki. Alt-Alt-Kiki, like Alt-Riff, was transformed into a demon after being flattened by Riff's Retreat-Bot. Unlike Alt-Riff, she rather enjoyed her newfound demonic powers, such as breathing fire, and is currently residing in the Dimension of Pain.Alt-Bun-Bun : Kind, generous, honest, and extremely naïve. He behaves quite similarly to Kiki-Prime, although he is undoubtedly somewhat more intelligent.Alt-Gwynn : Merged with the Alt-E-ville book, the Book of Ro'Thar-Niece. She has many magical powers but is categorically opposed to using violence in any way, though admits that she can see the good that may arise from it. She bleeds paper instead of blood, inscribed with the events of her life at least a short way into the future. Also generates her own simplified Tarot deck (which Torg-Prime termed Tarot for Dummies
).Alt-Bert : A resistance fighter with a French accent, an obsession with spleens, and a tendency to throw food at people and demons. He is killed when he accidentally impales himself on Torg's sword.Alt-Fred : The parallel form of Freaky Fred of Cannibals Anonymous, whose "cannibalism" in this dimension consists of eating person-shaped rice cakes. He is also relatively violent for the dimension, hitting a demon in the toe with his hammer. He charged Tarnashun when he and his posse found Torg-Prime in Alt-Gwynn's house, impaling himself on Torg-Prime's sword and returning it to Torg-Prime at the cost of his own life.Corningsworth : A talking, British-accented sewer parasite that took residence inside Alt-Fred. Now resides inside Alt-Gwynn.The talking arrows : The weapon of Alt-Alt-Torg. Like Torg-Prime's sword, they can talk, but require no "charging". They're prone to constant bad puns, and Alt-Alt-Torg took his first opportunity to propose a trade with Torg-Prime because of this.
Characters in Timeless Space
Teknokons: Robotic explorers of the "timeless space" of the Oceans Unmoving storyline. Their creators are the same neckties who tried to tech-grab Kada's invention which sent her to Timeless Space. They built a large number of ships to travel the timeless void (which are generally held and used by pirates during the storyline), but largely abandoned their efforts and several pieces of technology due to the lack of commercial value in Timeless Space, as well as the danger of time-freezing. (The rules regarding time are quite complex and have many variations, but all things have "time," and when "time" runs out, the subject "freezes" until he, she, or it is restored by coming into contact with another timeline. Time-freezing is also known as the Long Grey.) The only craft capable of journeying into or out of "timeless space", Teknokon One, is something of a holy grail to the inhabitants of "timeless space", and it was sent back from its destination by Makz in the vain hope that Kada would find it and come home. The Teknokons also planted forests wherever they went, since they, being robots, could hold little time. Tracing the vegetation led Stu and Face to the Teknokon One. Teknokon One was last seen being stolen by Lady Noga. There are also rumors of an evil Teknokon with a soul, out to destroy all other sentient life, known as the "Obsidian Teknokon." In appearance Teknokons are smaller than humans, vaguely humanoid but very slender, with large flat heads, four arms and in place of legs a small "sail" that lets them float and is presumably similar to those in their ships.Blacksoul: A mysterious, cloaked figure out for revenge, Blacksoul's secret is that he is, in fact, the Obsidian Teknokon, which is, in fact, controlled by Bun-bun's future self. The robot used to follow Crazy Carver, but after future Bun-bun climbed inside its head, it began to obey Bun-bun's orders, causing its shift to a more violent and vengeful "personality". Fearing anyone's reaction if they should see a second Bun-bun - including the reaction of his other self - he kept the robot and adopted the disguise of Blacksoul. As a Teknokon, Blacksoul also had the ability to fly, though he kept that as his secret trump card for a good time, pretending to move along the ground while actually hovering inside his robe on such a height that he appeared as tall as a human. He also possessed tremendous strength. Bun-bun won his ship and the position of captain in a card game. It was thought that he desired revenge for this, but since he in reality just wanted to follow his earlier self home, it was likely intentional. Blacksoul chased Bun-bun around Timeless Space, but he always managed to narrowly escape until finally both were blown into the Oceans Unmoving and returned to their respective times.Calix: A native of timeless space who was drafted into Bun-Bun's pirate crew, in short order becoming first mate. A member of a warrior race whose ancestors were transported to Timeless space by a sorceress, he is brave and dauntless but until recently he had a tendency to rush headlong into danger without thinking things through. He tried to stage a mutiny against Bun-Bun, but it backfired dramatically and resulted in the deaths and/or enslavement of his people and a large percentage of Bun-Bun's crew. He struggled with the dilemma of whether to openly oppose Bun-bun and jeopardize his family if he failed, or cooperate with him. He also acted coldly towards Kada during her efforts to locate Teknokon One, because of her cooperation with Bun-bun, but this started changing after she kissed him to make him lighten up. Despite being presented with the opportunity to kill Bun-bun, Kada convinced him to come with her. He freed his people, who regarded him as a traitor and were about to cast him into the Oceans Unmoving before he could escape during Noga's second attack. He escaped with Kada, Stu, and B.A. on "Red 3" and found Teknokon One; however, Noga followed them and began a combined technological/magical assault. He drove off Noga during the battle over the Teknokon One by killing Feder and Jaspers with a double axe throw. He was only able to protect Kada and BA, however; Stu was mortally wounded and Noga captured Teknokon One. As a result of this battle and Stu's death, he became extremely hardened, willing to kill anyone who posed a threat to him, BA, or Kada- he realized that right and wrong do not matter in Timeless Space. He acquired "timelier time" after a visit to Crazy Carver; using Kada's map, he located isolated pockets of survivors (and revived some time-frozen people), informed them of Jacobs' plot, and so created a rebel army. He is now known as Admiral Calix, but he prefers his unofficial nickname: "Calix the Pirate King".Kada Jansan: A scientist from the future who invented "the apparatus", a device that could create dimensional wormholes as well as generate what appeared to be a real-time map of the universe. Corporate heads known as the Neckties attempted to expropriate this technology, claiming she had lied to them (the map actually displayed Timeless Space). Shortly before their arrival, however, the apparatus transported her to Timeless Space, possibly drawn to the signal of "Carib-Carriage One" (see "Caribs" below). After being taken aboard the Bloody Bun (and after some coercion, of course), she agreed to help Bun-Bun get home in exchange for protection. Calix soon rebelled against Bun-bun, and Kada became the new first mate. Her computer, in conjunction with the apparatus, ultimately helped to locate Teknokon One. She escaped with Calix, B.A., and Stu when Noga attacked the Bloody Bun after Bun-bun's apparent death. Upon locating Teknokon One, she found that it had been left behind by her former co-worker for her escape. However, Lady Noga used a spell on her that caused her to suffer psychosomatic back spasms, which bought Noga enough time to steal Teknokon One. After recovering from the spell she repaired their damaged skiff and continued travelling with Calix, rescuing survivors and victims of the Long Gray. She and Calix are now deeply in love and captains her own ship crewed by rescuees along with being co-leader of the anti-Jacobs rebellion.
Riff invented a prototype form of the apparatus that was accidentally Ebayed to "some guy named Jansen" - presumably this is an ancestor of Kada, and her apparatus is a completed version of from Riff's. The Greys (The Grey Team): Four aliens in the employ of Bun-Bun. Their names are Murdock, Hannibal, Face and B.A (in homage to/parody of The A-Team). They are genetically engineered aliens that are more resilient than most humans, and their true names are often unpronounceable and of too high frequency for recording devices (except for Face, whose real name is Steeeeeeve). Unlike their namesakes, they are of childish disposition and obsessed with probing things. Hannibal was either killed or captured in Jacobs' attack. After Blacksoul attacked the Bloody Bun, Face and Murdock were captured for interrogation after one of Jacobs' scounts found the time-frozen Bloody Bun. B.A. then escaped, and eventually stormed the outpost with Kada, Calix, and their followers. Face and Murdock were interrogated as to what happened, while B.A. forced the interrogators to listen to his story for posterity. While Face and Murdock will also continue the struggle against Jacobs with B.A., Hannibal is likely dead (Calix found no trace of him).Sir John Jacobs: A "pirate" admiral of Timeless Space. Jacobs is clad in imposing armor, and his face cannot be seen through his visor. He intends to gather together enough people, through coercion and recruitment, to create a "Clothos Legacy" (sometimes "Clotho Legacy"); that is, a single timeline of effectively infinite magnitude which would become permanent and change timeless space forever. When he heard of a map that could show everything that occurred in Timeless Space, he immediately pursued it in hopes of locating all the remaining pockets of survivors that had not yet been captured into his empire. His fleet unexpectedly ran into Bun-bun and the Caribs' camp. Jacobs destroyed Bun-bun's flagship, capturing or killing all aboard, though Bun-bun, Calix, and a few others escaped.Lady Noga: A mysterious Russian witch, based on the legendary Baba Yaga, who commands a fleet of skiffs for Sir John Jacobs before betraying him. She is one of the few "exceptions" who arrived via magic, rather than technology. She has exhibited such powers as training crows to fly where she commands and foretelling the future. Her plans may at first seem like flagrant abuses of her power (such as having her pets locked in an expensively shielded box for protection), but turn out to be deceptively ingenious (such as releasing the crows to attack when the ship is destroyed). Noga also has a callous disregard for those unfortunate enough to be placed under her command, and has no qualms about sacrificing them to achieve her goals. She also was allied with Blacksoul, has Feder and Jasper collaborating with her, who helped her track Kada to Teknokon One using her belongings. She was last seen escaping with Teknokon One in tow, but her current whereabouts are unknown.Ralph: One of Lady Noga's crows, which Murdock adopted as a pet. He helped Lady Noga track down the Bloody Bun.Crazy Carver: A crazy anthropomorphic goat (or maybe a sub-species of Carib) who rules over a group of cardboard cutouts called "Teknokon City." He does, however, have real Teknokons who tend to him. Father Time once visited him and, for some unexplained reason, granted him a massive time aura that supposedly has unlimited time. He acquired plans for something that appeared to be the Teknokon One from the Obsidian Teknokon, but when the Caribs tried it out, they ended up pulling Kada into Timeless Space. His acquiring the plans was supposedly what angered Blacksoul; in fact, it was Bun-bun's taking control of the CPU-less robot. Calix finds him via Kada's map and uses his infinite timebubble to help free and recruit time-frozen individuals.The Caribs: A group of anthropomorphic caribou (reindeer), who wear Victorian dress and whose names are all puns for some food. They are: Mousse, the leader; Pâté, his girlfriend; Chuck, who is in love with Pâté; and Honest Stu, Pate's brother, who naively tells the truth at the most inconvenient times. They visited Crazy Carver after crash-landing on his island, and acquired plans for Technokon One, which proved to be defective. They rescued Kada when the defective "Carib-Carriage One" pulled her to timeless space, and were the first to discover that her apparatus could generate a map of timeless space. They later got separated when Chuck and Stu went for supplies, Chuck was captured by John Jacobs and Stu by Donaly and then Bun-bun. Stu located Teknokon One, but was mortally wounded after being shot by Feder. He tells his presumably only lie for personal amusement just before he dies.Dr. Viennason: A Carib professor and the leading authority on Timeless Space. He makes a series of low-budget, painful to watch DVDs that explain everything one needs to know about surviving the void (except how to get out). He has another Carib, Phil Laymon Yon, explain the mythos of Timeless Space.Uncle Time: Father Time's brother, in charge of Timeless Space, and also the pet store owner who sold Past Bun-bun to Torg. It was he who returned Bun-bun his original timeline after both of Bun-bun's trips into Timeless space, Bun-bun having solved the "riddle of Timeless Space", which, although never explicitly defined, has something to do with diving into the Oceans Unmoving. Evidence to support this theory includes Patches's claim that the Oceans Unmoving is a terrible place, as most either drown or timefreeze due to the easily time-freezing water.Feder: A pirate formerly under Donaly's command, who typically worked with the dim-witted Jaspers, a co-worker from a time-jumping ship's programming team. He seized Bun-bun and Blacksoul's fall into the Oceans Unmoving as an opportunity to take command of the Bloody Bun, and collaborated with Noga when her skiffs arrived, to the detriment of everyone else (the adults will be killed, and the children will be eaten). After being ten seconds too late in securing a possession of the escaping crew (to be used as a spell reagent), Feder was forced to hang on to a rope as Red 5 took off after Red 3. He followed Red 3 to Teknokon One and fired a laser rifle in the fight for Teknokon One. He mortally wounded Stu but was killed when Calix hit him with a throwing axe.Jaspers: A pirate who typically stayed with Feder, joining his collaboration with Noga. He got onto the time-jumping ship project because of his father's influence; he typically is not very bright. He was killed by Calix' throwing axe in the battle for Teknokon One. He bears some resemblance to Ragetti of Pirates of the Caribbean due to his appearance, low intelligence and association with Feder, who somewhat resembles Pintel.Johnason: Lady Noga's first mate. He was turned into a troll by her magic between when Bun-Bun escaped Sir John Jacobs' fleet and when Red 3 and 5 intercepted the Bloody Bun, but what effect this has on him, other than his appearance, has yet to be specified.Makz Crane: A corporate "necktie," in Kada's time period. He sold Kada out in order to lay claim to her technology, and played some role in creating Teknokon One and the Teknokons, which were a failed attempt to use Timeless Space as a means of reaching other galaxies. He regretted his actions, and left Teknokon One behind as a means by which Kada can return home.Crazy Ingles: One of Bun-Bun's "pirates." Ingles is in debt to Blacksoul, who supposedly saved his life, and leaves recorded messages for him to help track down Bun-bun after his first attempt at killing Bun-bun failed. Ingles possesses a great fear of Caribs, possibly because he lost his hand to a rabid one that Bun-bun sent after him in retaliation for putting a poisoned snake into his room. Ingles was either captured or killed (we don't know which) when the second Bloody Bun was destroyed by John Jacobs.Donaly: Captain of the Laser Sword, a Teknokon ship that travels through timeless space. He's cowardly and rather ineffectual, but puts on an air of dashing ruthlessness. After Donaly's futile attempt to capture Calix' village left his ship vulnerable, Bun-Bun coerced him to sail under the Bloody Bun. When he was sent to retrieve the map of Timeless Space, he managed to stall long enough for John Jacobs to catch up with Bun-Bun. He was later captured by John Jacobs and tortured/interrogated; he even had his lips (accidentally) cut off, but this didn't offset his garrulous nature any.T. Borchlotz: One of Sir John Jacobs's interrogators. Was supposedly interrogating the Greys (who called him "Mr. Torturelots"), but was ordered to do so by Calix to convince others to stand against Sir John Jacobs. He was last seen as a prisoner of the rebels.Flipp: A member of Donaly's crew. A concussion grenade knocked him overboard during Blacksoul's attack, and he fell into the Oceans Unmoving where he, like Bun-bun, encountered Uncle Time. However, Uncle Time sent him to 2005 instead of 2104, as his "ballpark" guess was less than accurate. He was inside the crate that Zoë, Riff and Gwynn opened at the end of "Living Conditions."
Podunkton is a small community in Pennsylvania featured in the bonus story for Dangerous Days Ahead and the current series, Phoenix Rising. Oasis serves as the town's vigilante, having killed Jeremiah Finster and his fellow syndicate members, and killing other criminals. Feng : Oasis's sensei, whom she freed from Jeremiah Finster. He asks her questions about her past; while she is able to talk about Dr. Steve and her battle against Hereti-Corp relatively easily, she is still unable to answer his questions about Torg. He has a unique philosophy (presumably somehow related with martial arts, as Nash comments that he had a trained look about him and that his fist flew faster than Nash could see) that involves Pizza Rolls as the path to enlightenment. Katie Zalia : A high-school age girl who is a friend of Oasis; more well adjusted to Oasis' occasionally murderous personality and her general surroundings than her mother is. Kareen Zalia : Katie's mother, who is responsible for burying the criminals Oasis kills. She is uncomfortable with Feng and Oasis's presence at her house, concerned that the ramifications that her violence will have. The continued stress of living with Oasis and Feng (and their habits) have driven her to become somewhat mentally unstable. Guadalupe "Lupae" Indahed : A (unlicensed) psychiatrist who was previously in a relationship with Jeremiah Finster. Hopeful for relief from the danger that Oasis represents to her, she tells the "reporter" "Nash Straw" about what Oasis has done, and is killed when she reveals that she knows he is not telling the truth about his identity. "Nash" : A highly skilled and well paid assassin-for-hire. Hired by the Syndicate to take back Podunkton, he initially presents himself as a reporter and a witness to the McKee's Liquor store robbery in order to gain more information on the vigilante killings in Podunkton. After waking up in Lupae Indahed's house, he learns about Oasis's killing the syndicate and of the graves that Kareen dug, and kills Lupae when she realizes what he is doing. He then kills Oasis with a single shot to the head, and takes her body with him to prove the kill to his employers for payment. He wanted to take vengeance on Officer Tod for beating him earlier, and had a fierce gun and grenade battle with him. When Oasis shows up alive, he gave up on "paying back" Tod and shot him dead. He was nearly killed by Oasis when he tried to take Katie hostage, but the surgeons managed to save him. His actual, given name is unknown but both of his aliases thus far ("Nash Straw" and "Warren Nashville") have included the name "Nash". He seems to have a habit of talking to people he has killed, such as his narration to Lupae and his comment on Tod's death. His wide-brimmed hat seems to be a signature of sorts and favored item. He is a good actor, a master of a variety of weapons and fighting styles, and extremely physically resilient, having over the course of a few days taken several blows to the chest, several grenade blasts, and no less than four separate knife wounds (a slash to the side, a stab through his hand, and two to the lungs from both the back and the chest) and survived all (albeit with medical attention). Officer Tod : A corrupt police officer who was formerly in the employ of Jeremiah Finster, and now does little to no work for his paycheck, as Oasis "keeps the peace" for him. He is quite brutal and sadistic, as he and his deputies repeatedly beat "Nash Straw," possibly breaking some of his ribs. He is quite heavily armed, as he wields a "obnoxiously powerful cannon" and hand grenades from Jeremiah Finster against "Nash Straw". After a somewhat drawn-out fight, "Nash" shot him in the head and killed him instantly, rather than (as he hoped) giving him a more painful death to take revenge. Officer Edsel : Officer Tod's deputy, quite inexperienced in police work either through lack of practice under Oasis' enforced peace or through native incompetence. His accidental dialing of 911 after the Nash-Tod-Oasis fight probably saved Nash's life by bringing in ambulances and state troopers. Jeremiah Finster : One of Snideloni Whiplashi's lieutenants, who set up drug trafficking and money laundering operations in Podunkton for the Canadian Mafia. Was in a relationship with Lupae. Oasis killed him around when she first arrived in town. Snideloni Whiplashi : The former head of the Canadian Mafia, based on Snidely Whiplash
. He attempted to smuggle goods into America, but failed. He was killed by a faulty Easy-Bake oven. Dastard Dickly : The current head of the Canadian Mafia, based on Dick Dastardly
. It is implied that he hired "Nash Straw" to retake Podunkton and that he engineered the death of his predecessor.
The Punyverse is a perfectly spherical alternate universe which, unbeknownst to absolutely anybody, exists inside a waffle iron battery. The Punyverse has no lone stars, only suns and orbiting planets. All planets are habitable except those near the edge, which are used for mining. Popular wisdom holds that an army of invisible ghosts, called the "Void Ghosts," lives near the edge and attacks all who approach; in actuality, anything that crashes into the edge of the universe is converted to energy and blasted towards the center. There are two warring factions: the Lovhos and the Zorgons. The border between the two runs exactly through the center of the sphere. The entire Punyverse and all its inhabitants were destroyed when the Zorgons fired a Cascade Missile into a sun, creating a massive chain reaction, in hopes that the Lohvo heroes of Team Gofotron would sacrifice themselves to save the world (Torg and Riff had stolen Gofotron's crotch, rendering it useless).
The Lohvos are a race of blue-skinned people whose only true advantage in the war is Team Gofotron. General Benedict (Kegs Benedict): Lovho General with an extreme envy of Gofotron. Benedict sold top military secrets to the Zorgons to get an excuse to demand Gofotron's secret technologies. Gofotron's leader, Stan, refused, claiming that Benedict was not wise enough. After Benedict was found out, the Gola Zorgon merged him with a case of the space alcohol called "Blarg," turning him into the drunken monster Kegs Benedict. It was so incredibly inebriated that it could not be harmed by Gofotron, but it eventually fell into an alcoholic coma shortly after blurting out Gola's secret evil plans.King Proan: The King of the Lohvos and father of Princess-Princess. His name is a pun on provolone
Gofotron, a parody of Voltron
, is a giant robot comprised of six sections. Each section is piloted by a different member of the team, and they can also be disguised as ordinary ships that use the Amazingly Hasty Drive. Gofotron can easily (and tediously) take out hundreds of enemy transbots, so Zorgon Gola generally sends giant monsters against it. Gofotron abilities include the "Cool-Move-That-Wins-Battle" and the "Gofotron-Cuts-Ship-In-Half-Move". Secret Angel Princess-Princess: Gofotron's right arm and the Lohvo princess Princess-Princess, daughter of King Proan. Nobody ever suspects that Princess-Princess is really Secret Angel Princess-Princess (though they usually admit how stupid it sounds once they discover the truth). She was separated from the team when Gofotron attempted to slice Lord Grater's capital ship and hit a spare Cascade Missile. She later wound up in the company of Torg, Riff, and Lord Grater. She had a fairly good chance of surviving the destruction of the Punyverse, but Lord Grater, misunderstanding her comment about not loving him if he were the last man in the universe, tricked the boys into leaving early.Secret Cranky Office Temp: Temporarily took the place of Secret Angel Princess-Princess as Gofotron's right arm, being hired into Team Gofotron from an office temp agency when Princess-Princess went missing. Her ghost reappeared in a later "And now you know" segment entirely unrelated to the Punyverse.Secret Flaking Napstich-Napstich: Gofotron's crotch and a nearly invulnerable bounty hunter named Lodoze (parody of Lobo
) with a vendetta against Bun-Bun. His Team Gofotron name comes from his preferred insult "Flakin' Napstich". Torg, Riff and Bunbun steal Lodoze's crotch-ship in order to escape the punyverse, which--oddly enough--Bert had seen in a vision. Secret
Leader Weatherman: Gofotron's head and the leader of the team, also known as Weatherman Stan. Stan is fairly dense, even by Punyverse standards. He started Team Gofotron as an excuse to see Princess-Princess naked (the female costumes briefly turn transparent during transformations). He also reports on the weather occasionally.Secret Ops Sysop: Gofotron's right leg, also known as Aesop. He has a speech impediment forcing him to start all sentences with "Root-Root". A parody of Keyop from Battle of the Planets
.Secret Silent Sneaky One: Gofotron's left leg; appears in only two strips and has only one line, complaining about the fast food joint Gofotron stops at. Secret Snoorfy Snoorf-Snoorf: Gofotron's left arm and Team Gofotron's pet Snoorf - a parody of the ThunderCats
' "Snarf". A cat-like being
who likes to say "Snoorf!" a lot.
Zorgons are red-skinned humanoids, more warlike than the Lohvos. The Zorgon homeworld is Rhibb Prime. Prominent Zorgons are:Lord Grater: A parody of Darth Vader
, he claims to have mind-control
powers and fails to psychokinetically choke a subordinate. His theme song is sung to the melody of the Imperial March
. Rather than a villain
, he prefers to think of himself as a "dark tragic party guy". Grater has romantic aspirations in connection to the Lohvo princess Princess-Princess and chooses for both of them to remain in the Punyverse and await its destruction in the hope of getting a kiss. Zorgon Gola: The supreme leader of the Zorgons, he wears red lipstick but is very self-conscious about the matter. He possesses a weapon that can turn anyone and anything into a monster loyal to him and imbued with the power of nearby items, but has not seen the applications of this in major-scale attack and creates only one monster at a time. Furthermore, he does not notice that he could simply transform his enemies (GOFOTRON in particular) into said monsters, destroying an enemy and gaining an ally at the same time. His name is a pun on gorgonzola
, and his character is a parody of Zoltar from Battle of the Planets
. Zorgon scientists had developed a cloaking device, and Gola planned to surprise the Lovhos with it once GOFOTRON was destroyed. Unfortunately, he never got the chance, when his "Scooter" program disastrously backfired. Gola actually survived the explosion and attempted to get his vengeance on Grater, but his experimental warp drive crashed him into the edge of the universe, killing him. He does not wear pants.Scooter : Gola's ultimate weapon. Scooter is a Zorgon puppy merged with a Cascade missile and granted the brain of a moth. Naturally drawn to bright lights, Scooter immediately ran towards the nearest sun. Gola announced to the universe that, should Scooter reach the sun, a chain reaction would cause every sun to go nova, destroying all matter. Gola had hoped that GOFOTRON would engage Scooter and die in the ensuing explosion, but Torg, Riff, and Grater ruined this by stealing GOFOTRON's crotch. Scooter, completely unopposed, dove into the sun and destroyed the universe.
Sluggy Freelance includes a series of Harry Potter
parodies, centering around the magic school known as Hoggelrynth
. Torg and Kiki are the only regular cast members to appear in it, and Torg has attended the school several times, mostly against his will since the students are a generation younger than him and he cannot use magic outside the school, even if he ever learnt any. Mainly he attends because the schoolmaster and the Ministry of Ministering
use him as a decoy to hide the real Torg Potter, the Lastnameless One.
Kate Bahlmajik: Professor of Divination, prone to dark and murderous predictions about Torg's and his friend's familiars. Actually Hillary Clinton
.Busdolf Gandledorf: The elderly headmaster of Hoggelrynth. Rather manipulative and unnecessarily cryptic. He has managed to irritate Torg by using him as a decoy for Torg Potter to the point that Torg kicked him rather hard at their last meeting, thus making him the second old man whom Torg has exposed to physical violence.Professor Boogeyna Goobergal: An Animagus
and professor of Transmogrification. Although she has a human form, she always appears as a cat with a large pointy hat, because she has for years forgotten to change back.Homnigrits: Groundskeeper of Hoggelrynth. He allegedly is known as "The Man who goes where few fear to tread" (which usually means the mall
), and is very fond of the word 'Mysterious', which he pronounces Mis-teer-ious while wiggling his fingers. As of "Torg Potter and the President from Arkansas" he is also the Familiars teacher.Madam Koochie-koochie: Professor of Defying Gravity, referee for Hoggelrynth's Quidsatz Haderach
matches.Professor Goldilocks Lumphead: Professor of Protection from Dark and Poorly Drawn Art
in the second story. Given little character development, he nevertheless resembles Gilderoy Lockhart
.Tawny Quichons: Professor of Animals, Minerals and Vegetables.Santory Snapekin: Professor of Potions, very similar to his Harry Potter equivalent
, with the exception of his passion for sandwiches
. Potions in Hoggelrynth have also been known to be put on sandwiches, but Snapekin objects to them being called "sauces".Professor Squirrelle: Professor of Protection from Dark and Poorly Drawn Art in the first story.Aymaliken Thrope: "Wizard high-fivin'" teacher and rival of Snapekin. Skunk animagus.Professor Willowstick: Professor of Charms.
Torg: Due to an error on the part of the school, the Torg of the main cast was mistaken for Torg Potter, the Lastnameless One, a legendary prophesied savior figure or some such. Torg Prime is now occasionally dragged to the school to serve as a decoy for the real Lastnameless One, and is fast growing annoyed with this.Homogenize Milktoast: A parody of Hermione Granger
from Harry Potter. She is quite intelligent, and helps Torg to research the issue of the moment.Ralfoy Malfoy: Torg's arch-enemy at Hogwarts. He has tried to bully Torg but has failed basically because Torg is twice his size, and has had to resort to wreaking other forms of mischief against him. A restraining order was placed between him and Torg in "Torg Potter and the President from Arkansas", and when Kiki accidentally "harmed" Malfoy, she was taken away to be executed
.Weaselo Ronsnaps: A parody of Ron Weasley
from Harry Potter. Long-winded when expounding upon his family or potential rivals. Uses words like "bugger
" and "bloody
" a lot.Mr. Ugh and Mr. Clunk: Malfoy's two cronies with no real personality apart from brutish tendencies. As such, they obviously correspond to Crabbe
. The far larger Torg gives them wedgies.
Lucius Malfoy: Father of Ralfoy. Lucius wears a nametag on which is written "I'm a badguy! My name is Lucius Malfoy" and generally lives up to its claims. He hates being called Luscious, which causes Torg to call him that at every opportunity. Torg discovered that Lucius was one of You-probably-don't-know-who's hooded followers by yelling "Hey! Luscious!" at them and provoking an angry response from Malfoy. You-probably-don't-know-who: Very little has been revealed of this character, except that he is after Torg Potter and it is possible for him to possess people through a book titled "How to be possessed by You-probably-don't-know-who". The story of the Lastnameless One and You-probably-don't-know-who is known as the story-we-can't-tell. You-probably-don't-know-who's name was revealed to be Millard Dynam Stoop in the "Torg Potter and the Giblets with Fiber" storyline, though he took the name "Lord Moldypants," since "I am Lord Moldypants" is the best anagram
he could come up with for his given name. Blearious Stank: Were-elephant that was framed for killing innocents. Escaped from the Duh-Mentors of the wizard prison when a chance presented itself and somehow ended up near Hoggelrynth for no known reason.Duh-mentors: Guards of the wizard prison, mainly because it allows the Ministry of Ministering to classify all inhabitants as "badguys" and assign them tax form "Badguy E-Z". Duh-mentors are absolutely inescapable, except by running away quickly.William Wotcherclaws: Rat animagus who killed innocents, then blamed Blearious Stank, and has most recently been posing as a familiar to Weaselo Ronsnaps. Torg stomps on him in familiar form after rewinding time while knowing of his identity, but Wotcherclaws escaped and joined You-probably-don't-know-who. He was last seen after Torg shot his wand hand off with a shotgun.
A group of unofficial paramilitary troops who defend the world from the spawn of Satan, including the Evil. Unfortunately for Zoë and her friends, they were all on "vacation" for the first time in fifty years when the Evil first awakened and were not around to protect them. As the milk supply dwindled, they trained for an all-out assault by depriving select kittens of milk and playing wargames. The kittens, however, were holding back; once all the Caretakers returned to Wispydale, they slaughtered the entire "Arny" (so called because their false military uniforms have misspellings) save two wounded survivors. Jack the Clown: The leader of the group, Jack wears clown makeup, allegedly as a ploy to convince outsiders that the group is no threat. In actuality, he is a real clown posing as a commander to fulfill his "destiny" and control the Evil. He knew that to achieve his goal, he would have to acquire a monopoly on all things that could control the kittens--the Caretakers, which they must kill, the milk, which pacifies them (unbeknownst to him, the kittens know this, and destroyed the milk supply), and the mittens, which they are compelled to recover. The "Arny" always had control of the mittens, and the Caretakers were captured through magical means as a safeguard to keep the kittens from wreaking havoc across the nation in their attempts to find them. Jack personally wired the town's supply of milk with explosives, leaving the kittens to detonate them and blaming it on Flaky. Unfortunately, he had not counted on the kittens being able to fly, and was killed as he dangled mittens from his escape helicopter. Acey : A female soldier with a tattoo over one eye (which warrants a lengthy explanation every time she is introduced to someone). She loses that eye when a kitten attacks her vehicle, and is killed when the Evil attacks Dart's group. Dart : A high-ranking and well-respected soldier, Dart wears a shirt with a dartboard design when not in uniform. He has a tendency to make action-hero speeches that progress into villainy, but that does not make him evil. He trusted Jack to the point where it took the latter's detonating explosives from a helicopter while laughing maniacally to open his mind to the possibility that the clown might not have the world's best interests in mind. He was decapitated by kittens in the great ambush that claimed most of the survivors. Mika : The leader of the reinforcement squad F-Company, Mika was secretly a Satanist preparing to eliminate the organization. She took her cohort Delaware and abandoned F-Company to its fate, meeting with the unsuspecting survivors in the cabin. Mika volunteered to go alone to the ranger station, the only radio strong enough to call in outside help, planning to meet with Delaware there and delay the distress signal until all the other survivors were already dead. Unfortunately for her, the Evil either didn't know or didn't care that she was on their side. They did know and care, however, that the ranger station was the best hope of survival for the Caretakers, and Mika was killed within minutes of the "awakening." Delaware : A card-carrying member of the Satanic Tome of the Month Club and a traitor, Delaware and his fellow Satanist/lover Mika abandoned F-Company to the kittens and prepared to wipe out the rest of the survivors. Delaware went with Torg and Lucy as they headed to town, then stole their map and radio before rendezvousing with Mika. His theft forced Torg and Lucy to rejoin Dart and the others, concentrating all the targets not holed up in the cabin in one spot and setting up a deadly ambush. Immediately prior to the ambush, however, the kittens attacked the radio tower. Delaware was the first to die that night. Juan Adyslow, Ed Mitdafeat, Sid Uationhopeless : Three wounded soldiers, in R & D, Heavy Weapons, and Demolitions, respectively. All three supposedly lost limbs to the kittens (their arm, hand and leg, respectively), and would have lost their lives, if Dart had not saved them (but Sid blew his leg off by accident). Sid comes up with a plan to blow the kittens into the lake, grounding them. The plan mostly succeeds, but three kittens fly into the cabin and kill Juan before they are "milked." Ed and Sid promise to contain The Evil, despite Sid joking that he was going to complete Commander Clown's Plan, creating a fake "twist ending."
Several other members of the Arny were also named, but were generally slain by the Evil within their first few strips. These characters included Lieutenant Pidge, Lieutenant Gruel, Liutenant Jaffe, Lieutenant Bones, Sergeant Extrathickchunkybeefstew, Private Bitparte, Private Puddin, Private Yogurt, and Private Porbastard. All of these characters died during the events of the Kitten II storyline.
in the Sluggy Universe are organized into circles, each led by a master. The members of each Circle have their own free will to a point, but a higher-ranking vampire can override this. The method varies somewhat between circles. Vampires have many weaknesses that vary from circle to circle- Vykrolak vampires are instantly killed by stakes, but Lysinda vampires are incapacitated. A potentially common trait is that they recover energy by sleeping on their native soil.
The Lysinda Circle Vampires
The Lysinda Circle was a powerful and highly-respected group of vampires that had existed for an immeasurably long time. It takes several days to create a new Lysinda Vampire; the potential convert must be bitten for three consecutive nights then made to drink vampire blood. These vampires have many weaknesses, including holy symbols and the inability to enter homes without invitations. However, they can only be killed permanently by either exposing them to direct sunlight or stuffing their severed heads with garlic. Stakes can temporarily put them out of action, but once the stake is removed, the vampire is fully restored.
The circle turned Sam, and intended to turn Torg and Zoë before Riff rescued them and destroyed nearly all the vampires. Sam Sein is the only surviving Lysinda Circle vampire; he renamed it the Sam Cirkhail Mamajama when this was pointed out to him.Lady Valerie : A Lysinda circle vampire and one of Torg's love interests from the past. Originally, Valerie was a queen back in the middle ages, but after the death of her husband Lord Torgamous, she despaired and the vampire queen Lysinda offered to turn her into a vampire. In the present, she posed as Sam's wife to help search for people to induct into the Lysinda Circle, and instantly felt a bond for Torg, given his similarity to her dead husband.
- Torg had always felt a certain attraction to Valerie, and he had actually been somewhat happy to become a vampire with her, but when it came time to choose between eternal life with Valerie or the lives of his friends, Torg impaled Valerie with a stake. Valerie whispered her thanks before going unconscious, and died with the rest of the vampires that dawn. Later, Torg met her again when he travelled into the past and posed as her husband, the Warlord Torgamous (Valerie knew about this; it was the peasantry he was trying to fool).Lysinda : A vampire queen and creator of the Lysinda Circle of Vampires. She was directly responsible for turning Sam and Valerie into vampires and attempted to turn Torg and Zoë as well. She is incredibly powerful: she easily slew a horde of K'Z'K's Deadels that came too close to Valerie in Mercia. She was eventually staked by Zoë during Riff's invasion of the dungeon, after everyone except her was knocked unconscious- she rejected Lysinda's offer of vampirism, and took the initiative when Bun-bun distracted Lysinda. Lysinda died along with the others when the sun rose. She later appeared in the "Meanwhile in the Dimension Of..." side-stories, where she had entered into a relationship with Satan.
Vrykolak vampires (whose name is derived from the Greek vrykolakas
), unlike those of the Lysinda Circle, are immune to holy symbols but are weak against silver
and silver salts. Additionally, Vrykolak vampires turn to dust immediately upon being staked. They can fly, but at a slower speed than Lysinda circle vampires. When a Vrykolak drains a victim to the point of death the victim gains some vampiric abilities and weaknesses, but they are also controlled telepathically by their killer and are of no consequence within the circle itself (Philinnon is shown killing such a servant merely for voicing her own internal conflicts). This only works once a day, yet still allows the Vrykolak to amass a very considerable body-guard of servants. It is not known how one becomes a full member of the circle.
The Vrykolakas were once considered the dogs of the other circles, but owe their dignity to Lysinda.Philinnon : A Vrykolak master who can turn into mist. She is an ancient vampire (one vampire hunter speculates she came to be around 400 BC) and possibly the oldest of all the Vrykolak. After Sam disrespected her, she declared war on the Sam Cirkail, regardless of his connection to Lysinda. She prefers to speak Ancient Greek
when talking to her servants. According to Grabrijan she has problems acknowledging that she is wrong. Grabrijan: Inferior in rank and age to Philinnon, he was the first Vrykolak to be introduced. Attempted to use Sam as a decoy while fighting a particularly dangerous vampire hunter named Arminius Vambrey. He was disciplined for this, and was killed by Arminius Vambrey soon after.
Hell Mouth Vampires
Appearing in the "Muffin the Vampire Baker
" storyline, the vampires in a town called Hell Mouth were relatively weak, couldn't fly, could be killed instantly by staking (more slowly by baking), had lumpy faces and included no significant characters. Their circle allegiance was not elaborated on.
Other Minor Characters
Nana Avarre: Riff's dentist, whom he calls the "angsty dentist". Very fond of pain, believing it to give life meaning. Has tendencies towards stalking
and joined Bun-bun's class on it together with Torg. During Boy's Night Out, she attacked the lair of Vrykolaka vampires where Torg and Sam were being held and removed the teeth of many of the vampires, intending to make a necklace out of them. Her name is a reference to Anna Navarre
, a character from Deus Ex
.Stone Johnson: Anchor for Nifty News Fifty, a news show that reports to both sides of the fourth wall. Johnson reports on the newsworthy events that our heroes partake in. He also provides fourth-wall-breaking commentary on such things as the morality of Sluggy's portrayal of magic. He's not exactly a paragon of unbiased reporting. He generally upholds conservative values, and he always opts for the scientific explanation. Stone himself once said "We'll leave it to you to decide. Actually, we can't take that risk."Qwirky Walton: Reporter for Nifty News Fifty. Qwirky is the exact opposite of Johnson, always looking for a conspiracy. She first appeared to report on General Mayhem's zombie project.Dr. Lorna: Riff's biological mother; a radio personality who once employed Gwynn and Zoë, similar to Dr. Laura Schlesinger
(however, she appears notably younger—Zoë notes that she must have given birth to Riff at a relatively young age). She enjoys insulting her callers on her show, and puts down Riff's father and stepmother. She has remarried, and her husband has a young son (incidentally, this violates Dr. Laura's advice that parents not remarry until their children are 18).
- Dr. Lorna disowns Riff after Bun-bun and Kiki use a mechanical replica of himself to pretend that he attended her party, allowing him to spend time with his friends. After she fired Gwynn when she'd been possessed by a demon and Zoë for being friends with her, she has had no further role in the strip beyond cameos.Qaboos Al-Fin: A rich friend of Riff's father, who helps Riff and his friends elude Bun-bun's Black Op Elves in the Caribbean.Kimmy Sue Hasenpfeffer: A girl who was the object of both Torg and Riff's affection during their childhood. She was forced to leave town when her father fled from Jimmy the Wire Wisk on Thanksgiving (who, unbeknownst to all concerned, had been accidentally turned into a Smurf). She had sparked an intense rivalry between Torg and Riff, each of whom believed that a love note she had left was for the other. When asked about the note, she claimed that she could not remember, and that she was now married and had a daughter.