The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson is a popular chick lit series for teenage girls, written by Louise Rennison. It features the life of a teenage girl, Georgia, as she complains about school, is attracted to good-looking boys and is frustrated with the strangeness of the rest of her family (consisting of her mother, father, younger sister Libby and her crazy cats, Angus and Gordy).
The first novel in the series, Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging, describes her as a fourteen-year old girl without, but seeking, a boyfriend in her English community. As the series progresses, she begins to have more potential boyfriends, ending up with three regular contenders for the job, nicknamed the Sex God, the Italian Stallion and Dave the Laugh. In the latest installment 'Stop in the name of pants!', she has chosen which boy she wishes to date, but still has trouble with her feelings for others. In this confusion, readers hope to find a resolution to this conflict in future novels in the series.
There is some debate about where the books are set. In the second book, they mention catching a bus to Deansgate, which is an area of Manchester in the North West of England, and which features an all boys and an all girls high school situated across the road from each other (Manchester High School for Girls and Manchester Grammar School).
However, other signals point to the books being set in Brighton on England's South coast, such as the fact they go shopping in Churchill Square, always meet by the clock tower, and this is where Louise Rennison currently lives. Georgia and her friends also go camping in Ramsgate, which is in the South East of England, and, when Georgia is coming back from a holiday in Scotland, she talks about 'nodding off for the whole of the Midlands'. In the recent film, Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, the setting is Eastbourne.
Georgia's age is generally unspecified. One can pinpoint her to about 16 years old in the latest book. In Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas (the third book in the series) she mentions that she is fourteen.
The series is made up of nine novels, the most recent of which was released in July 2008. The titles are:
- ''Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging
- It's OK, I'm wearing really big knickers - (On the Bright Side, I'm Now the Girlfriend of a Sex God in the US)
- Knocked Out by My Nunga-Nungas
- Dancing in my Nuddy-Pants
- ...And That's When it Fell Off in my Hand - (Away Laughing on a Fast Camel in the US)
- ...Then He Ate My Boy Entrancers (May 2005)
- Startled By His Furry Shorts
- Luuurve is a Many Trousered Thing - (Love is a Many Trousered Thing in the US) (July 2007)
- Stop in the Name of Pants! (July 2008)
Also in 2007, the short book Let the Snog Fest Begin!: Georgia Nicolson's Guide to Life and Luuurve was released for World Book and Copyright Day. There is also a journal called "Fabbity-fab Journal".
Georgia's world is full of nutty and bizarre people. Some of the more central ones are:
The Ace Gang
- Jas (Jasmine) - Georgia's exasperatingly annoying, but endearing, best friend. Prone to rambling on - annoys Georgia by talking about nature and her boyfriend Tom a.k.a. Hunky (brother of Robbie). She is also known as 'Radio Jas' and is constantly telling everyone Georgia's secrets. Georgia suspects that Jas may have bisexual tendencies. She is the 'sensible' one in the Ace Gang, often taking her work seriously. Her middle name is Pollyanna, because her mother liked the film. She wears enormous pantaloonies.
- Rosie (Rosemary Mees) - A close friend of Georgia. A Viking bride-to-be. Much like her boyfriend Sven, Georgia comments, she is 'not entirely normal'. This is verified by the fact that Rosie carries around a fake beard and a pipe at all times. Also known for her eccentric dancing. Referred to as wearing glasses several times during the first book.
- Jools (Julia) - A friend of Georgia. Good in an emergency, e.g. usually has secret lippy supply. Currently dating Rollo.
- Ellen - A close, and rather dim, friend of Georgia, who is known for dithering. She went out with Dave the Laugh, and after he dumped her, still had feelings for him, but at the end of 'Luuurve is a Many Trousered Thing' seemed to go off him a little in favour of one of his friends, Dec. When discussing Rosie's Viking wedding, she is told she should work out, so maybe she is overweight.
- Mabs (Mabel) - A friend of Georgia. Is currently single but seemed to take a liking to Tom and Dave the Laugh's friend Edward at the end of 'Luuurve is a Many Trousered Thing'. All round good egg.
Honorary bloke members of the Ace Gang
- Dave the Laugh (Hornmeister) - A very close friend of Georgia, who makes her, and everyone else for that matter, laugh. He was once her boyfriend, but only to make Robbie (the Sex God) jealous. They are also occasionally snogging partners. Dave is referred to as Georgia's Horn Adviser when she suffers from red bottomosity - see slang column - in later books and helps her out with relationship troubles. Famously said he would like to be a girl so he could look at his nunga-nungas all day.
- Tom Jennings - Robbie (the Sex God)'s younger brother and boyfriend of Jas. Actually, as boys go, not entirely mad.
- Sven - Rosie's extremely tall boyfriend who has limited English and scares almost everyone he comes into contact with. From Reindeer land (possibly). None of the Ace Gang are quite sure where he is from, even his girlfriend, Rosie. Described by Georgia as 'half reindeer, half fool' and 'Spectacularly mad'. Owns many ludricrous flares, including ones that have flashing lights down the seams.
Trainee members of the Ace Gang
- Honor and Soph - Coming along nicely. Already involved in the snot disco inferno and the hilarious putting of a skeleton dressed as Mr Attwood in his hut.
- Mr. Bob Nicolson a.k.a. Vati - Long-suffering father of Georgia, once lived in New Zealand, and has a ridiculous beard. He enjoys acting in mysterious ways, whilst still being a strict parent at times, and sometimes acts like Il Ministrone. He is also part of a football team that he put together with a few of his other lardy friends, even though none of them are physically fit.
- Mrs. Connie Nicolson a.k.a. Mutti - Long-suffering mother of Georgia, with rather large nunga-nungas. Georgia mentions that her mother has no 'moral code', as she is always flirting with men.
- Robbie 'The Sex God' Jennings - Idol of affection for Georgia/first proper love. Used to be the lead singer of the Stiff Dylans until he moved to New Zealand and therefore had to leave the band. He does come back from New Zealand in the book 'Luuurve is a Many Trousered Thing' and shows likings for Georgia, but Georgia's affections have by then been transferred to Masimo, who replaced Robbie in the Stiff Dylans. He is described as extremely good-looking, and has black hair and very blue eyes.
- Mark Big Gob - The second person Georgia kissed. He once rested his hand on her nunga-nunga and she didn't know why. He smokes and once got into a crazy fight with The Stiff Dylans, Robbie's/Masimo's band, during a dance. He also has a huge mouth, hence the name Mark Big Gob. He enjoys dating very short girls.
- Rollo - Friend of Tom and Dave the Laugh. Currently going out with Jools.
- Whelk Boy (Peter Dyer) - The first person Georgia kissed, but she broke up with him because he kept going straight into kissing her, and not letting her talk. She also disliked his kissing style, although she did originally go to him for kissing lessons. He is nicknamed 'Whelk boy' because his kissing style reminded Georgia of a whelk.
- Libby (Liberty) - Georgia's young, supposedly adorable sister who thinks Georgia is half girl/half cat and sometimes refers to her as 'Bad boy' and 'Gingey'. Libby is not potty trained yet and pees and poos everywhere inside, or outside, the house.
- Uncle Eddie - Georgia's loony, bald uncle. Later in the series it is noted that he has become somewhat of a male stripper for womens parties (the 'baldy-o-gram'), and is very popular at it. He is shown to be insane, but nice, with a terrible sense of humour.
- Herr Kamyer - Teacher of German and Physics. Georgia notes, 'He has the double comedic value of being both German and the only male teacher in an all girls school.' He once had malaria and now twitches when he speaks. He has awful dress sense, and dithers when he talks, like Ellen.
- Gorgey Henri - Groovy-looking French student teacher featured in some books.
- Madame Slack - French teacher at Georgia's school.
- Ms. 'Slim' Simpson - Overweight headmistress of Georgia's school. Known for her rolls of fat and all-over jelloidnosity.
- 'Hawkeye' Heaton - A horrible teacher at Georgia's school. She has it in for Georgia and her friends, since Georgia let out the locusts in the biology lab.
- Miss Stamp a.k.a. Adolfa - Physical Education teacher known for suspicious (most likely lesbian) interactions with her students. Also teaches Maths.
- Wet Lindsay - Robbie's ex-girlfriend, whom Georgia hates. She is a rival to Georgia in terms of boys, and she has been known to have had certain relations with Robbie and Masimo. At Stalag 14, she has a role as a Prefect, and later head girl, but abuses this power to torment Georgia, her friends, and first formers. She is noted for her insect-stick legs, sticky-up nose, sticky-out ears, goggly eyes and small forehead.
- Nauseating Pamela (P.) Green - A girl in school who breeds hamsters and wears large glasses. Georgia makes fun of her, but also defends her from the Bummers (see below). She has a large forehead and is described as fat.
- The Bummer Twins (Alison and Jackie)- Tarty and common girl bullies from Georgia's school who always smoke and wear a lot of make-up. They get expelled for shoplifting.
- Elvis Attwood - The grumpy caretaker at Georgia's school, called Elvis because he once threw his back out while dancing.
- Dr. John Gilhooley a.k.a. Dr. Clooney - The gorgeous and kind male doctor Georgia's mum has a crush on.
- Angus - Georgia's Scottish half wild cat. Likes to kill things and then hide them in Georgia's bed as a present. He is the size of a small Labrador dog, and has tabby fur.
- Naomi - Angus's love kitten. She is a pure-bred Burmese cat, and was regularly entered in cat shows, before she had Angus's kittens.
- Gordy - Angus's baby cat/Libby's pet. His parents are Angus and Naomi. Is cross-eyed, and likes to wrestle his own tail.
- Masimo 'The Luuurve God' Scarlotti - Italian-American singer. He becomes Georgia's new idol of affection after Robbie goes to New Zealand.
- Call Me Arnold - The Vicar that attempts to make the Church more modern. Has extremely light blonde hair.
- Dom (Dominic) - Member of The Stiff Dylans
- Chris - Member of The Stiff Dylans
- Ben - Member of The Stiff Dylans
- Miss Wilson - A jitterish teacher at Georgia's school. She teaches R.E. (Religious Education) and English. She has a perculiar dress sense, and bobbed hair.
The books have spawned a whole new language. Such notable phrases include:
- Arvie - Afternoon. From the latin 'arvo'. Possibly. As in the famous Latin invitation: 'Lettus meetus this arvo.'
- Billy Shakespeare land - England
- 'Blimey O'Reilly!' or 'Blimey O'Reilly's trousers!' - Irish expression of disbelief and shock. Maybe O'Reilly was a famous Irish bloke who wore big trousers. We may never know the truth.
- Blodge - Biology.
- Boboland - To go to sleep is 'to go to bobos', so if you go to bed you are going to boboland. Libby made it up and can be violent if you don't join in with her.
- Boy entrancers - False eyelashes.
- Bum-oley - Quite literally bottom-hole. Say it proudly with a smile and a Spanish accent.
- Bunged - Shoved. Put firmly in place.
- Cat patrol - A term used when a boy (cat) and his friends go out looking for 'birds', as in girls.
- Chav - A common, rude, rough person who wears naff clothes. A chav joke would be 'If there are two chavs in a car and no loud music playing, what type of car is it? Answer: a police car.'
- Clown car - Officially known as a Reliant Robin three-wheeler, but clearly a car built for clowns, made by an absolute loser called Robin.
- Conk - Nose. Based in history due to William the Conquerer having a big nose and because of this we called him William the Big Conk-erer. If you see what I mean.
- Double cool with knobs - 'double' and 'with knobs' are instead of saying 'very' a lot. Makes sentences quicker.
- Duffing up - Female equivalent of beating up. Not so violent and involves a lot of pushing and the occasional pinch.
- Emily Plankton - Nickname for Emmeline Pankhurst, the famous female suffragette.
- Erlack - 'Yuck!' or 'Eww!'.
- Erlack a pongoes - A disgusting smell.
- Fabby - Fabulous.
- Fandango - Complicated Spanish dance. So a fandango is something complicated.
- Froglegs-a-gogo Land - France.
- Froggy - French.
- Gadzooks - Expression of surprise. Like, 'Cor, love a duck!', which doesn't mean you love ducks or want to marry one.
- Geoggers - Geography.
- Goosegog - Gooseberry e.g. if two people want to snog and someone keeps hanging about talking, they are a gooseberry. Or for short, a goosegog, meaning someone who nobody wants around.
- Gorgey - Gorgeous.
- Hamburger-a-gogo-Land - USA.
- General Horn - Being attracted to many people at the same time.
- Particular Horn - Being attracted to only one singular person.
- Cosmic Horn - Being attracted to everyone and everything in the universe.
- Kiwi-a-gogo-Land - New Zealand.
- Land of the Great White Clots - New Zealand. Play on 'Land of the Great White Clouds', the translation of the Maori name for New Zealand.
- Lederhosen-a-gogo Land - Germany.
- Lord Baden-Powell - Invented Scouts and camping, knots and going into the country for no reason. Ergo, Lord B-P was clearly as mad as a hen. He also invented enormous shorts, which he wore proudly.
- Lunck - Lunch (Interestingly, this term is never actually used during the course of the books).
- Mariachi-a-gogo Land - Mexico.
- Marvy - Marvelous.
- Midget Gem - Little sweets made out of hard jelly stuff in different flavours. Jas loves them A LOT. Georgia never accepts one from her as she suspects Jas keeps them in her panties.
- Nervy Spaz - Nervous spasm.
- Nippy Noodles - Cold.
- Nuddy-pants - Nude-coloured pants, which means no pants. So if you are in your nuddy-pants you are in no pants, i.e you are naked.
- Nunga-nungas - Basoomas. Breasts. They are called nunga-nungas because Ellen's brother says that if you get hold of a girl's breast and pull it out it goes nunga-nunga-nunga. Singular form - Nunga.
- Sports Nunga-Nunga-holder - Basoomas can potentially knock you out if their big and you don't wear it when running (I.E: a sport bra.
- Och Aye Land - Scotland.
- Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder - A nunga-nunga holder, bra.
- Pantalitzer doll - A terrifying Czech-made doll that sadistic parents [Georgia's dad] buy for their children.
- Parky - Cold.
- Piddly-diddly Department - A place where one goes to urinate.
- Pingy pongoes - A very bad smell. Usually to do with farting.
- Plight my troth - Give your word love-wise. Another way of saying 'You are my one and only one'. So if you are 'untrothed', you can display red-bottomosity ad hoc and willy nilly.
- Pizza-a-gogo Land - Masimoland, Italy.
- Poo parlour division - A place where one goes to defecate.
- Red-bottomosity - Having the big red bottom. When a lady baboon is in the mood for love, she displays her red bottom to the male baboon. Otherwise he wouldn't have a clue. Anyway, if you hear the call of the Horn you are said to be displaying red-bottomosity.
- S'laters - See you later.
- The Sound of Music - A film we all know. Includes many famous songs, like 'The Hills are Alive with the Sound of Music', except to Georgia it is, of course, 'The Hills are Alive with the Sound of PANTS'. Other examples include 'You Are Sixteen Going On PANTS' and the one about the national flower of Austria 'IdlePANTS'.
- Spangleferkel - A kind of German sausage.
- Swiss-cheese-a-gogo-Land - Switzerland.
- Stalag 14 - School.
- Tarts Wardrobe - Toilets.
- Tatty Bye - 'Tatty' is another word for potato in olde English. Mrs Billy Shakespeare would say, 'Shall we have tatties and pheasant for tea, Billy?'. So when you are saying goodbye, English people say 'tatty bye', and it quite literally means 'goodbye potato'.
- Vino tinto - Now this is your actual Pizza-a-gogo talk. It quite literally means 'tinted wine'. In this case the wine is tinted red.
- Waz - Another expression for piddly-diddly department.
- Wazzarium - A place where you go to have a waz. Boys toilets.
- 'What in the name of pantyhose?!' - Expression of annoyance, like 'What on Earth?'.
- Whelk Boy - A whelk is a horrible shellfish thing that only the truly mad eat. Slimy and mucus-like. Whelk Boy is a boy who kisses like a whelk, i.e. a slimy mucus kisser.
These words and more are found in the back of the books in a glossary for the 'dim' readers. Georgia has her own definitions to explain each word, many of which are commonly-used British English slang words.
The 'Losing it' Scale
The Ace Gang use the 'Losing It' scale to show how angry someone has become. It is as follows:
1. Minor Tiz
2. Complete Tiz and To-do
4. A visit to Strop Central
5. F.T. (Funny Turn)
6. Spaz Attack
7. Complete Ditherspaz
8. Nervy B. (Nervous Breakdown)
9. Complete Nervy B.
The Snogging Scale
In 'Angus, Thongs and Full-Frontal Snogging', The Ace Gang used a kissing scale to show how far they had gone with a boy. It can also be referred to as the Snogging Scale. This is then updated as the series goes on. In 'Luuurve is a many trousered thing...' there is the updated Snogging Scale. It is as follows:
The New and Improved Snogging Scale
- 0.5. Sticky eyes (Be careful using this. I've still got some complete twit following me around like a seeing-eye dog.)
- 1. Holding hands
- 1 1/5. Hugging
- 2. Arm around [waist and shoulders]
- 3. Goodnight kiss
- 4. Kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath (What you need for this is a sad mate who’s got a watch but no boyfriend.)
- 4.5. Hand snogging (I really don’t want to go into this. Ask Jas.)
- 5. Open mouth kissing
- 6. Tongues
- 6 1/4. Nip libbling (lip nibbling)
- 6 1/2. Ear snogging
- 6 3/4. Neck nuzzling
- 7. Upper body fondling – outdoors
- 8. Upper body fondling – indoors (in bed)
- Virtual number 8. (When your upper body is not actually being fondled in reality, but you know that it is in your snoggees head.)
- 9. Below waist activity (or bwa. Apparently this can include flashing your pants. Don’t blame me. Ask Jools.)
- 10. The Full Monty (Jas and I were in the room when Dad was watching the news and the newscaster said, “Tonight the Prime Minister has reached Number 10.” And Jas and I had a laughing spaz to end all laughing spazzes.)
Having the Hump Scale
The Hump Scale is the scale telling you how far your friends andor accomplices are in the Hump.
2. Sniffing (In an I-Told-You-So way)
3. Head tossing and fringe fiddling
4. Cold shoulderosity work
5. Midget gems all around but not for you
6. Pretendy deafnosity
7. Walking on ahead
8. The quarter humpty (evils)
9. The half humpty dumpty (Evils and withdrawal of snacks)
10. The full humpty-dumpty (walking away with dignosity at all times)
Groove on Groovsters! The Ace Gang Dance Moves
In case you haven’t noticed, me and the Ace Gang have created some of the grooviest dance moves ever invented. I always find that a quick burst of disco inferno dancing is a fab way of getting rid of tensionosity and frustrated snoggosity. So because I love you all so much, I have written down our fave steps so you can get grooving too.
The Viking bison disco inferno
We’re still practising this for Rosie’s forthcoming Viking wedding. It is danced to the tune of Jingle Bells because even Rosie, world authority on Sven land, doesn’t know any Viking songs. Apart from Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. Which isn’t one. For this dance you need some bison horns. If you can’t find any bison shops nearby, make your own horns form an old hair band and a couple of twigs or something.
- Stamp, stamp to the left
- Left leg kick, kick
- Arm up
- Stab, stab to the left (that’s the pillaging bit)
- Stamp, stamp to the right
- Right leg kick, kick
- Arm up
- Stab, stab to the right
- Quick twirl around with both hands raised to Thor (whatever)
- Raise your (pretend) drinking horn to the left
- Drinking horn to the right
- Horn to the sky
- All over body shake
- Huddly duddly
- And fall to the knees with a triumphant shout of 'HORRRRNNNNN!!!!'
P.S. In a rare moment of comic genius, Jas, who was clearly in touch with her inner bison, added this bit too – it’s a sort of sniffing-the-air type move. Like a Viking bison might do. If it was trying to find its prey. And if there was such a thing as a Viking bison.
Stab, stab to the left,
And then sniff sniff.
The Snot Disco Inferno
For this dance you will need a big blob of bubble gum hanging off your nose like a huge bogey. It needs to dangle about so you can swing it round and round in time to the music. Dance this to the tune of Eastenders, or to your favourite TV show theme tune. It goes…
- Swing your snot to the left
- Swing to the right
- Full turn
- Shoulder shrug
- Nod to the front
- Dangle dangle
- Hands on shoulders
- Kick, kick to the right
- Dangle dangle
- Kick, kick to the left
- Dangle dangle
- Full snot around
- And shimmy to the ground
The Viking Disco Hornpipe Dance
Just a note, costume wise; The ear muffs are worn over the bison horns. It is imperative that the horns are not removed, otherwise it makes a laughing stock of the whole thing.
The music starts with a Viking Salute.
- Both paddles are pointed at the horns
- A cry of 'Thor!!!' and a jump to the right
- Paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle to the right
- Paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle to the left
- Cry of Thor!
- Jump to the left
- Paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle to the left
- Paddle, paddle, paddle, paddle to the right
- Jump to face the front (grim Viking expression)
- Quick paddle right
- Quick paddle left x 4
- Turn to partner
- Cross paddles with partner x2
- Face front and high hornpipe skipping x 8 (gay viking smiling)
- Then (and this is the complicated bit) interweaving paddling!
- Paddle in and out of each other up and down the line, meanwhile gazing out to the left and to the right (concerned expression - this is the looking-for-land bit)
- Paddle back to original position
- On-the-spot paddling till all are in line and then close eyes (for night time rowing effect)
- Right and left paddling x2 and then open eyes wide
- Shout 'Land AHOYYYYY!'
- Fall to your knees and throw paddles in the air (behind, not in front, incase of crowd injury)
Let the Snog Fest Begin
'Let the Snog Fest Begin' is a short book by Louise Rennison
featuring her popular character Georgia Nicolson, from the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson
series. It was released in 2007 as a special £1 book for World Book Day
In early 2007, a movie Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
based on the first and second novels went into pre-production. Directing it will be Gurinder Chadha
. There are plans to make further movies based on the books depending on the success of the first movie. 'Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging' is due to be released 25th of July 2008(UK) and is produced by Paramount and Nickelodeon Pictures.