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One Fat Hen

One Fat Hen (also called One Red Hen or Turtle) is a drinking game. It is based on the difficulty people often have in repeating exactly what the leader says, and the amusing possibilities when they get it wrong.

Gameplay

The normal mode of play is that the leader recites the first line of the game and then all the players take it in turns to First - Sip the drink; Second - repeat the line; and Third - take another sip; if anyone makes a mistake, he or she must take a drink (or pay a forfeit) and ask the Leader to repeat. They then repeat the turn (Sip-Repeat-Sip). When everyone has got it right, the leader starts again, and adds the second line. Each player must now say the first and second lines, and so on, like this:

Leader - *sip* One fat hen! *sip*
Player 1 - *sip* One fat hen! *sip*
Player 2 - *sip* One hat fen! (takes a drink, and must repeat the line) *sip* One fat hen! *sip*
Player 3 - *sip* One fat hen! *sip*

Leader - *sip* One fat hen, a couple of ducks *sip*
Player 1 - *sip* One fat hen, a couple of ducks *sip*
Player 2 - *sip* One fat hen, two ducks (takes another drink, and starts again)
Player 3 - *sip* One fat hen, a couple of ducks *sip*

...and so on, with increasing mirth.

Other Versions

The Austrukinfailian Version:

  • One Fat Hen
  • A Couple of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bear
  • Four Running Hare
  • Five Fat Fickle Females, Sitting Sipping Scotch
  • Six Simple Simons Sitting on a Stump
  • Seven Simbad Sailors, Sailing the Seven Seas in a Sloop
  • Eight Egotistical Egotists Egotistically Echoing Ectasy's
  • Nine Nude Nibleons Nimbly Nibbling Gnats Nuts and Nicotine
  • I'm Not the Pheasant Plucker, I'm the Pheasant Plucker's Son and I'm Only plucking Pheasants Till the Pheasant Plucker Comes
  • Encore:
  • Old Mrs Hunt Has a Funny Cut Punt, Not a Punt Cut Funny, But A Funny Cut Punt!!!

Philadelphia Version:

  • One Fat Hen.
  • Couple Duck.
  • Three Brown Bear.
  • Four Running Hare.
  • Five Fat Females Sitting Sipping Scotch.
  • Six Simple Simons Sitting on a Stoop.
  • Seven Sinbad Sailors Sailing the Seven Seas on a Sloop.
  • Eight Egotictical Eogotists, Echoing Egotistical Ecstacies.
  • Nine Nucleari Nuclearists, Nimbly Nibbling Gnats, Nuts, and Nicotine.
  • "And Ten; I am not a Fig Plucker nor a Fig Plucker's Son, but I will pluck the Figs until the Fig Plucker comes."

If someone asks if you're a turtle, you MUST say "You bet your sweet ass I am!" and can then be challenged on any/all of the numbers.

The Lock Haven University Version:

  • One Fat Hen
  • A Couple of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bears
  • Four Running Hares
  • Five Fat Females
  • Six Sexy Siamese Sailors Solemnly Sailing the Seven Seas
  • Seven Serbian Serbs Simply Serving Serbian Syrup
  • Eight Egotistical Egotists Egotistically Echoing Egotistical Ecstasies
  • Nine Nubian Nudes Nimbly Nibbling Gnats Knuckles and Nicotine
  • Ten Tiny Tinsmiths Tearfully Tinkering Tin Teapots Till Dawn
  • Eleven Lovely Lesbians Lovingly Lapping Lukewarm Love
  • I Slit the Sheet, the Sheet I Slit, Upon the Slitted Sheet I Sit
  • Encore:
  • Theophilus Thistledown, the Successful Thistle Sifter, in Sifting a Sieve Full of Unsifted Thistles, Thrust Three Thousand Thistles through the Thick of his Thumb.

If then Theophilus, the Successful Thistle Sifter, Thrust Three Thousand Thistles through the Thick of his Thumb, See that Thou, in Sifting a Sieve Full of Unsifted Thistles, Thrust Three Thousand Thistles Not through the Thick of Thy Tongue!

  • One Fat Hen and
  • A Couple of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bears
  • Four Running Hares
  • Five Fat Females Fixing For A Fight
  • Six Simple Simons sitting on a stump
  • Seven Sicilian Sailors sailing the Seven Seas
  • Eight Cocky Sock Cutters Cockily Cutting Socks
  • Nine Split Sheets: I'm not a Split Sheet Splitter but on Split Sheets Shall I Sit
  • Ten Pheasant Pluckers: I'm not the Pheasant Plucker I'm the Pheasant Pluckers son, I'm only Plucking Pheasants till the Pheasant Plucker comes
  • Eleven Miss Puggy Wuggy's: Miss Puggy Wuggy's got a square cut punt, not a punt cut square but a square cut punt, Miss Puggy Wuggy's got a square cut punt.

Another set of sentences is:

  • One Fat Hen
  • A Couple of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bears
  • Four Horny Hares
  • Five Fat Fickle Females fixin' for a fight
  • Six Simple Simons sitting on a stump
  • Seven Sicilian Sailors sailing the Seven Seas
  • Eight Egotistical Egotists, echoing egotistical ecstasies
  • Nine Nude Nymps, nibbling gnat tails and nicotine
  • Ten - I'm not the fig plucker, nor the fig plucker's son, but I'll pluck the figs 'till the fig plucker comes.

Alternate set (please note the ommission of the "s" on the following, as it goes against normal speech, and creates a lot more mirth); ten is shouted, using the slang noted:

  • Fat Hen
  • Couple Duck
  • Three Brown Bear
  • Four Running Hare
  • Five Fat Fickle Females sitting sipping scotch
  • Six Simple Simons sitting on a stump
  • Seven Sinbad Sailors sailing the Seven Seas on a sloop
  • Eight Egotistical Egotists echoing egotistical ecstasies
  • Nine New Nude Nubiles nibbling — nibbling gnats, nuts, and nicotine
  • Ten — I never was a fig, nor a fig plucker's son, but I'll keep pluckin' figs 'till the fig pluckin's done!

From the University of Western Australia

  • One Fat Hen
  • A Couple of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bears
  • Four Running Hares
  • Five Foxy Females Fixing For A Fight
  • Six Simple Simons Sitting on a Stump
  • Seven Sicillian Sailors Sailing the Seven Seas
  • Eight Cocky Sock Cutters Cockily Cutting Socks
  • Nine Nimble Nubile Nudes Nimbly Nibbling Noddy's Nuts
  • Ten Pleasant Pheasant Pluckers Pleasantly Plucking Pheasants 'til the Present Pleasant Pheasant Pluckers Fathers come home

The World Renowned Piatkowski Version:

  • One Fat Hen.
  • Couple o' ducks.
  • Three Brown Bear.
  • Four Running Hare.
  • Five Fat Females.
  • Six Simple Simons.
  • Seven Syrian Sailors Sailing the Syrian Sea.
  • Eight Egotistical Egotists Echoing Egotistical Ecstasies.
  • Nine Nubian Nudies, Nibbling, Nibbling on, Gnats, Knuckles, and Nicotine.
  • Ten, I slit a sheet, a sheet I did slit, upon the slitted sheet I sit.
  • Eleven, a fig plucker I'm not, nor a fig plucker's son, but I'll keep plucking figs till the fig plucking's done.

SUNY Albany O'Heaney's version

  • Chicken (Yes this is Different)
  • A Couple of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bears
  • Four Running Hares
  • Five Fat Fickle Females, Sitting sipping scotch
  • Six Simple Simons Sitting on a Slew
  • Seven Sinbad Sailors, Sailing the Ocean Blue
  • Eight Euscladated Elephants Eating Eggplant
  • Nine Nubile Nublians Nibbling Nibbling Nut
  • I am a Fig Plucker and a Fig Pluckers son, I won't stop Plucking Figs til the Fig Pluckings done

Are you a Turtle Scholar? You bet your sweet ass I am.

  • One Fat Hen
  • A Couple of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bears
  • Four Running Hares
  • Five Fat Ladies Fixing for a Fight
  • Six Sicilian Sea Men Sailing the Seven Seas
  • Seven Sleezy Sheet Slitters, Sleazily Slitting Sheets
  • Eight Cocky Sock Cutters, Cockily Cutting Socks
  • Nine Pleasant Pheasant Pluckers, Pleasantly Plucking Pheasants
  • Ten Simple Simons Sitting on a Stool

...and yet another variation:

  • A Big Fat Hen
  • A Couple Of Ducks
  • Three Brown Bears
  • Four Running Hares
  • Five Fat Females
  • Six Simple Simons Sitting On A Stump
  • Seven Sicilian Sailors Sailing The Seven Seas
  • Eight Egotistical Egotists Echoing Egotistical Ecstasies
  • Nine: I Slit a Sheet, a Sheet I Slit; Upon the Slitted Sheet I Sit
  • Ten: I'm Not A Sock Tucker Or A Sock Tucker's Son, But I'll Tuck Socks Till The Sock Tucker Comes
  • Eleven: I'm Not A Fig Plucker Or A Fig Plucker's Son, But I'll Pluck Figs Till The Fig Plucker Comes
  • Twelve: I'm Not A City Shoe Shiner Or A City Shoe Shiner's Son, But I'll Shine City Shoes Till The City Shoe Shiner Comes

  • one red hen
  • a couple of ducks
  • three brown bears
  • four running hares
  • five felonious females
  • six simple simons sitting on a tree stump
  • seven seasick sicilian sailors sailing the seven seas
  • eight...i slit a sheet, a sheet i slit, upon the slitted sheet i sit
  • nine.... nebulous news nibbling, nibbling, nibbling on nickels, nuts, and nicotine
  • ten.... i am a pheasant pluckers son, a pheasant pluckers son i am. i'm only plucking pheasants till the pheasant pluckers sun comes in

One Fat Hen

and a Couple of Ducks

Three Baby Brown Bears

Four Rapid Running Hares

Five Fat Fidgety Felines

Six Simple Simons Selling Salt in Siam

Seven Salty Sailors Sniffing Snus

Eight Overweight Elongated Elephants elevated on an Escalator

Nine Nasty-nosed Nimbly-o's Nibbling on the Noses of the Nine Nimble-nosed Nimbly-i's

Ten Two-Time, Two Tonned, Tanker Trucks with Trailers Traveling from Tallahassee Tennessee to Tyler Texas on Two Tanks of True-Test Texaco and Twenty Two Toughly Treaded Tires while Tapping their Toes To the Tenacious Tunes of Travis Tritt, Today!

Yet another version, this is the one I was forced to memorize to become a turtle:

One fat hen Couple of ducks Three brown bears Four running hares Five fat fickle females sitting sipping scotch Six simple Simons sitting sideways on a stump Seven Sinbad sailors sailed the seven seas Eight egotistical egotists echoing egotistical ecstasies Nine noobiling nooberers nibbling knicks, knacks, nooks and nicotine I may not be a fig picker nor a fig picker’s son but I’ll pick figs ‘till the fig picking’s done you bet your sweet ass I’m a turtle!

The night I "learned" this I threw up in my buddy's bath tub and lost my wallet.

I learned this is Kansas around 1993. Went like this: One red hen, A couple of ducks, Three brown bears, Four running hares, Five fat fickle females sitting sipping scotch, Six sinbad sailors sailed the seven seas, Seven simple Simon's sitting sideways on a stump, Eight egotistical egotists echoing egotistical ecstacies, Nine nude nublers nibbling nicks, knacks, nuts and nicotine, I never was a fig picker, nor a fig picker's son, but I'll pick figs until the fig picker comes!

yet another version common in the county of Herefordshire, England with a lot of variation

  • A hand
  • A couple of ducks
  • Three brow bears
  • Four running hares
  • Five corpley corpses
  • Six pairs of Donald Viza's Tweezers
  • Seven thousand charging Macedonians, in full battle array
  • Eight ancient monkeys from the sacred crypts of Egypt
  • Nine sympathetic, diabetic, apathetic old men on rollerskates, with a marked tendency for procrastination and sleuth.
  • Ten tantalising tarts, with titilating titties trapsing through the tombs of tutankhamun

A version common in the city of Racine, Wisconsin is called "Turtle," and has a few different rules. In this version, players are not allowed to say plural words (ie: duck not ducks), and must say the whole rhyme. If you say it once without messing up you may make another player take one drink. If you mess up, you have to take a drink. If you complete the first saying of the rhyme with out messing up, and another player says repeat, you have to say the rhyme again. If you say it the second time without messing up the rhyme, you may make another player take five drinks. If you mess up, you have to take three drinks.

The rhyme is as follows:

  • I wanna fuck
  • Two blind duck
  • Three brown bear
  • Four running hare
  • Five fickle fat female sitting on a stump
  • Six Simple Simon, sitting sipping scotch
  • Seven Sinbad sailor, sailing the seven sea in a sloop
  • Eight egotistical egotist echo echoing egotist egotistically
  • Nine nubiling nobeling nobling nobilist eating nipper at night time
  • Ten, I’m not the Fudrucker, nor am I the Fudrucker’s Son, so backoff in your own jackyard.

I learned this version from a friend of mine from Cape Breton Nova Scotia

  • A fat hen
  • Couple a ducks
  • Three brown bears
  • Four running hares
  • Five fickle females
  • Six sexy sirens sitting on a sea stump sipping suds
  • Seven siamese sailors nibbling nubbling nooky nooks
  • Eight Ethiopian elephants trying to enter Ethopia the 'ard way
  • Nine nifty nannies knocking nighties nicely
  • Ten tiny tops toppling toward tiny Tim
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