Advocates argue that, when implemented ideally, DD is the loving, consistent use of discipline as a positive way to enhance communication, deepen intimacy and reinforce relationship commitment. The discipline would normally include physical punishment but centres around rules of behaviour laid down by one party and nominally agreed to by the other.
The degree of power given to the HOH (head of household) varies. Some couples may choose to have only a few agreed upon rules with set consequences, while others choose for the HOH to have a more encompassing leadership role. The most important detail to note is that there is no one set way to live the lifestyle and each couple modifies it meet their needs. Furthermore the lifestyle is always entered upon with a consensual agreement between both partners. Advocates of the practice consider it abuse if both partners are not in agreement. Some couples even sign a contract that outlines the specific terms they have agreed upon so that there is no confusion.