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i. n. lewis


"K-I-S-S-I-N-G" is the (assumed) name of a playground song or taunt. It really only achieves its desired effect—embarrassment—when sung among children to a couple that is in romantic love. The embarrassment is derived from the prospect of romantic contact between a boy and a girl, usually an uncomfortable topic for young children.

The song is learned by oral tradition, yet is almost always recited as:

Harry and Sally sitting in a tree:
First comes love,
then comes marriage,
then comes the baby in the golden carriage!

"The baby" can be replaced with another child's name to cause further embarrassment. The names "Harry" and "Sally" are, of course, replaced by the names of the couple to be embarrassed.

Occasionally, a second verse may be added to the tune of:

That's not it!
That's not all!
Harry's drinking alcohol!

In this case the name of either child is substituted for "Harry". Variations for the last line of this verse are:

Here comes a baby drinking alcohol! (or)
playing basketball! (or)
peeing on the wall!

A popular alternate version can be recited as follows:

"[name] and [name] sitting in a tree,
First comes love,
then comes marriage,
then comes [name] in a baby carriage.
Sucking his thumb,
Wetting his pants,
Doing the hula-hula dance.
Not too big,
Not too small,
Just the size of a doody ball."

Another popular alternate version, used more commonly by preteens and teenagers:

"[name] and [name] sitting in a tree,
doing what they shouldn't be,
starts with S,
ends with X,
oh my god, it must be sex!


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