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List of QI episodes (D series)

This is a list of episodes of QI, the BBC comedy panel game television show hosted by Stephen Fry.

The first series started on 11 September 2003. Although not mentioned at the time, all of the questions (with the exception of the final "general ignorance" round) were on subjects beginning with "a" (such as "arthropods", "Alans" and "astronomy"). The following four series continued the theme: the second series' subjects all began with "b", and so on.

The dates in the lists are those of the BBC Two broadcasts. The episodes were also broadcast on BBC Four, generally a week earlier (as soon as one episode finished on BBC Two, the next was shown on BBC Four). Aside from Alan Davies and not adding clip shows, there are six guests that have appeared in ten or more episodes (out of 61), they are Jo Brand (18), Rich Hall (16), Phill Jupitus (16), Bill Bailey (15), Sean Lock (14) and Clive Anderson (10). Excluding the Pilot there have been a total of 51 different guest panellists in the four series to date. The fifth series began to air on BBC Two on 21 September 2007.

Disclaimer: Some facts stated during the series have since been found to be incorrect, in some cases due to a mistake and others by becoming outdated. Where possible these entries have been highlighted.

D Series (2006)

Episode 1 "Danger"

Broadcast dates:

  • 29 September 2006 (BBC Two)Panellists:
  • Alan Davies (-19 points)
  • Jo Brand (Winner with 7 points)
  • Jimmy Carr (0 points)
  • Sean Lock (4 points) Theme:
  • The panels buzzers sound like things which are dangerous. Alan's buzzer sounds like a mosquito.Topics:
  • Odds of very unusual accidents:
    • 1 in 48 million - Being burned alive whilst you sleep.
    • 1 in 30 million - Being murdered.
    • 1 in 120 million - Choking to death.
    • 1 in 20 billion - Death by tea cosy.
    • 1 in 257,000 - Dying today.
  • According to the United Nations, you are three times as likely to die at work than you are at war.

Tangent: Sean was once arrested for knocking a security guard's hat off.

Tangent: If you cut off the legs of a duck, it can still swim.
Tangent: A story from the French Revolution says that two decapitated heads were put in the same basket, and one head bit the other so hard that they could not be separated.

  • The most dangerous sport in the world is flying kites in Pakistan (the most dangerous country in the world) during Basant. You have to sever kite strings filled with glass and metal shards. It can only be played for 15 days of the year.

Tangent: The biggest kite in the world weighs nearly a tonne, measures by , has to be flown by 50 people, and has 200 strings.

Tangent: The 3rd person to go down Niagara Falls was a British man called Charles Stephens. He tied his legs to an anvil as he went down. All that was found of him was a severed arm inside the barrel, which had a tattoo which read, "Forget me not, Annie".
Tangent: A pirate ship filled with animals was sent over Niagara Falls, only two geese lived. Two bears crawled out, and were shot.

  • The most dangerous sporting activity for women is cheerleading.

Tangent: George W. Bush is the most famous cheerleader in America.

Tangent: You can get a detached retina from bungee jumping. You can also get detached breast tissue if you bungee jump naked.
Tangent: The Darwin Awards.General Ignorance:

Tangent: 3,000 white people died in the San Francisco quake, the Chinese dead weren't counted.
Tangent: People during the 1906 earthquake in San Francisco decided to set fire to their houses, because they were insured against fire, but not against earthquakes.
Tangent: Policemen were told to shoot 3 men who were trapped at the top of the Windsor Hotel. It was watched by 5,000 people. Someone else asked to be killed in a fire and the police took his name and address and shot him in the head.

Episode 2 "Discoveries"

Broadcast dates:

Tangent: Babylonians first developed the seven day week.

Tangent: Many zoologists participate in a Phylum Feast on Darwin's birthday (12 February) where they eat as many different species as possible.
Tangent: Disgusting foods: you drink the blood of the cobra when eating its beating heart (a delicacy in China); this lead Alan to talk about eating ear wax.

Tangent: Old English Sheepdogs are now referred to as "Dulux dogs". They have done more to popularise the dog, rather than the paint.

Episode 3 "Dogs"

Broadcast dates:

Tangent: Jeremy owns a labradoodle, the same kind of dog as Graham Norton. There is a type of dog called a Yorkiepoo, a cross between a Yorkshire terrier and a poodle.

Tangent: Sharks do not have to keep on moving in order to stay alive, though they do need water flowing through their gills.
Tangent: The largest egg in the world was laid by a whale shark.

Tangent: The German for "Dog" is "Hund" as in the English word "Hound." No-one knows where the word "Dog" comes from. "Dogger" is said to come from a Dutch word meaning "A type of ship."

Tangent: The area before Fisher is Dogger. Viking is always the first to be read out. Alan used to call the shipping forecast the "Chicken forecast" because that is what it sounded like when he was a kid.

Tangent: There is a sport called Canary Wrestling, similar to Sumo Wrestling.

Tangent: La Palma has a volcano on it, which could cause a tsunami that could wipe out the Eastern American seaboard if it erupted.

Tangent: "Karate" means "Empty hand" and "Judo" means "The gentle way".

Tangent: The first two planes shot down by Spitfires in World War II were Hurricanes.

  • Dogfights first started in World War I, but when they first fought, they had no guns, so they threw bricks at each other.

Tangent: Jeremy's favourite VC winner is Ferdinand West, a pilot from World War I. World War I pilots often had diarrhoea because bearings were lubricated with castor oil.General Ignorance:

  • Gorillas sleep in nests. They make a new nest every day, even if there is nothing wrong with it. The scientific name for Gorilla is Gorilla gorilla. This is known as a tautonym. The same is true of Bison and Iguana.
  • The scientific name for a rat is Rattus rattus.
  • The scientific name for a Golden Oriole is Oriolus oriolus.
  • The scientific name for a Whooper Swan is Cygnus cygnus.
  • The scientific name for a Manx Shearwater is Puffinus puffinus. The puffin's scientific name is Fratercula arctica. (Forfeit: Puffin)

Tangent: A Manx Shearwater in Cokeland Island, Northern Ireland was tagged as an adult (at least 5 years old) in July 1953 and was re-captured in July 2003, making it at least 55 years old, making it the oldest bird in the world.

Episode 4 "Dictionaries"

Broadcast dates:

  • 13 October 2006 (BBC Four)
  • 20 October 2006 (BBC Two)Panellists:
  • Alan Davies (-7 points)
  • Ronni Ancona (Winner with 13 points)
  • Rory Bremner (-7 points)
  • Phill Jupitus (-7 points) Theme:
  • The buzzers are in alphabetical order. Ronni's played a note in the key of A, Rory's was B, Phill's played C, and Alan's buzzer had a man going "Do-di-do-di-do".Topics:
  • Dictionary writers like to start at the letter "M". (Forfeit: A)
  • A 3 volume book about Didcot contains The Long Years of Obscurity as its first volume.

Tangent: Alan was once performing at a concert with Phil Collins, who was singing a song called "Where's My Hat?" and he was wearing a hat throughout.
Tangent: Didcot Power Station was the third worst eyesore in the UK according to a poll by "Country Life". Number one was Wind farms.
Tangent: Didcot has the second oldest yew tree in the country. It's 1,600 years old.

Tangent: Ronni's impression of Mary Kingsley.
Tangent: Diana Mosley and her liking of Adolf Hitler.

Tangent: Stephen's time in prison.

Tangent: If a clergyman is knighted, the Queen doesn't use a sword.
Tangent: The last public degradation in Britain happened in 1621 to Sir Francis Mitchell.

Tangent: Denier and tights.

Tangent: Scottish schools omit everything about the History of England, with the exception of the Battle of Bannockburn.
Tangent: The English soldiers were called "Tommy lobsters". The Battle of Culloden was the first battle to use bayonets.

Tangent: Dolphins can't distinguish between hunger and thirst.

Episode 5 "Death" (Halloween Special)

Broadcast dates:

(Despite announcing the audience as the winner, Andy Parsons is the official winner, making this the fourth consecutive week that a panellist has won on his/her debut)Theme:

  • The chairman and all the panellists are dressed in black.
  • There is a coffin in the centre of the set, replacing the "i" inside the "Qi" magnifying glass.
  • The forfeits on the wallscreens are coloured green as opposed to the normal white.Topics:
  • The bubonic plague was caused by marmots.
  • British doctors treat depression more than any other illness. (Forfeit: Cancer, Flu)

Tangent: A man who was depressed took apart his car and labelled every part and got his mood swing and he threw everything was just in pieces everywhere.
Tangent: Exercise and swimming with dolphins is proven to help with people who have depression.

  • The saddest song ever is "Gloomy Sunday" sung by Billie Holiday, also known as the "Hungarian Suicide Song". The song was originally written by Rezső Seress, who broke up with his girlfriend. After the song became popular, they got together briefly but then she committed suicide by poisoning herself and left only a two-word suicide note that said simply "Gloomy Sunday".

Tangent: People committing suicide by throwing themselves off Beachy Head.

Tangent: Stephen's dislike of the United States Army, mainly generals wearing sunglasses.
Tangent: Alan tells how a general once tried to get through to young troops by quoting MC Hammer.

  • Extremophiles are the only things that lives in the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea is the lowest place on Earth. People can't turn around in the Dead Sea if they are the wrong way round and could drown.

Tangent: Out of the 250 drownings in the UK each year, one-third are intentional.

Tangent: The original Great Fire of London in 1212 killed more than 3,000 people.

Tangent: Not saying "Bless you", when you sneeze.

Episode 6 "Drinks"

Broadcast dates:

  • 27 October 2006 (BBC Four)
  • 3 November 2006 (BBC Two)Panellists:
  • Alan Davies (Winner with 10 points!)
  • Jimmy Carr (2 points)
  • Phill Jupitus (-15 points)
  • John Sessions (-3 points) Theme:
  • The show is based around an old-time Pub theme, with various of the questions and decorations referencing classic British pub culture, games, etc.
  • There is a drinks rack behind Stephen Fry, including a keg of Watney's Red Barrel, and a Darts board taking up the centre of the main background.
  • Every panellist has a drink - Alan Davies has a martini, the other three have pints of lager.Topics:
  • A House sparrow knocked over 23,000 dominoes in Holland. After they tried to capture the sparrow, a man shot it and was fined €200. The sparrow was stuffed and shown at a display during 2006. (See Domino Day 2005 sparrow.)

Tangent: John's problem with birds in his house.

  • You are not allowed to drink whilst playing darts. It was caused by a sketch from Not the Nine O'Clock News which featured darts players drinking heavily, and it ruined the view of the game, so drinking was banned. You are also not allowed to wear a hat, unless you are a Sikh.

Tangent: Darts commentator Sid Waddell's odd quotes.

Tangent: Absinthe was banned in Belgium in 1905, Switzerland in 1912 and France in 1915 due to wormwood being poisonous. It was re-legalised in 1926 after they removed the wormwood. It has never been banned in Britain because it was never popular.

Tangent: The difference between weight and mass.

  • The Great Stink occurred in 1858 when Parliament was trying to be held, but the smell of faeces was so bad they had to stop. (Forfeit: He Who Smelt It, Dealt It.)

Tangent: The great-great-grandson of Joseph Bazalgette, who created London's sewage system after "The Great Stink", now runs Endemol.

Tangent: During World War II, Veronica Lake was forced to get her hair cut. She previously had her hair combed over one eye, and many women copied this style. However, the women then worked in munitions factories, and their hair got caught in the machinery.General Ignorance:

Tangent: Beer goggles.

Episode 7 "Differences"

Broadcast dates:

Tangent: Women have twice as many pain receptors on their skin as men.

  • Alcohol has a greater effect on men. In the long run, women are more likely to have alcohol-related brain and liver damage. (Forfeit: Women)

Tangent: On Alan's 30th birthday, he was so drunk, he forgot that people had been distributing sparklers throughout the house. Photographs showed he was even holding one.

  • Women get colder quicker, in order to keep the vital organs warm.

Tangent: Dara not being married, and his fictional Filipino wife.

  • The guests have to correctly identify a picture of a Yupik. (Forfeit: Inuit)

Tangent: The average height of an eskimo is 5' 4". The average life expectancy of an eskimo is 39 years old.
Tangent: The entire eskimo population would fit into the Los Angeles International Airport car park, if you put 5 eskimos in a car.
Tangent: Inuit throat singing, and Alan's impression of Andy Kershaw.

Tangent: 1 in 10,000 have their organs the wrong way round. The condition is known as Situs inversus.

  • Deaf people applaud by waving their hands in the air. There is a misconception that they clap louder or harder.

Tangent: Alan does the British Sign Language for "bullshit" and "drunkenness".

Tangent: Julian farting in front of the Queen backstage at the Royal Variety Performance and shitting himself.

Tangent: He also complained to Alfred Tennyson about a poem he wrote.

Tangent: Table tennis was banned in Russia as it was thought it would affect people's eyesight.General Ignorance:

Tangent: W. C. Fields once wrote a film under the pseudonym "Mahatma Kane Jeeves".
Tangent: Mahatma means "great soul" in Sanskrit.
Note: Alan Davies answered "Randy", and as a result was docked 150 points. The final scores were then revealed almost immediately afterwards, and Alan was on -144 points, a record lowest score in the show's history. However, without the 150 point penalty from the earlier question, Alan would have won with 6 points!

Episode 8 "Descendants" (Children in Need Special)

Broadcast dates:

(All scores in this game were multiplied by 1,000,000 as a generosity gesture from Stephen Fry, on account of it being for Children In Need. Therefore, the actual scores were -29, 2, 1 and 3.)Buzzers:

  • Phill - Vicky Pollard saying 'No, but yeah, but no, but yeah, but yeah!
  • Jonathan - Catherine Tate saying 'Am I bovvered?'
  • Rich - Bill/Ben saying 'Flobadobadobadob!
  • Alan - A clip of Clanger speechTheme:
  • The show initially began with Pudsey Bear, the Children in Need mascot, in the place of Alan Davies, but Pudsey was replaced after all the panellists had demonstrated their buzzers.
  • Each panellist has a Pudsey bear in front of them, however Rich Hall's Pudsey does not have one eye covered. This is because Rich Hall, being American and not aware of Pudsey's trademark, removed the eyepatch and bound his Pudsey's hands behind its back using the eyepatch before the recording of the episode began.Topics:
  • Babies don't have kneecaps, because they're made of cartilage. Babies also have 94 more bones than adults, mainly because most of the bones in the major areas, such as the skull, haven't fused yet.
  • The area of the body that has the most bones is the foot, with 52 bones.
  • The paradoxical frog grunts like a pig and has offspring three times its own size.

Tangent: Winston Churchill famously said "A dog looks up to you, a cat looks down on you, but a pig looks you in the eye and treats you as an equal".

Tangent: If Barbie was a 5' 6", her feet would be a size 3 and her breasts would be and she'd fall flat on herself, she also wouldn't have the necessary 17-22% body fat to menstruate.
Tangent: Barbie first got a navel in the year 2000.
Tangent: Barbie's first words spoken in 1992 were, "We will ever have enough clothes, I love shopping, math is tough.

Tangent: William Moulton Marston and his polyamorous relationship with the co-creator of Wonder Woman.

Tangent: Children invented earmuffs, the calculator, the trampoline and the Flag of Alaska.

Tangent: Alan mentions a Sherlock Holmes film, in which people were being murdered around a circus. An hour into the film, Holmes said to Dr Watson, "Pygmies".
Tangent: Jonathan's experience in France, when he saw a tiny elephant doing performance tricks and at the end of show, it was unzipped and a small dog was inside it.

Tangent: Oliver Postgate (the creator of The Clangers) and his other creations including Noggin The Nog, Pogles' Wood and Bagpuss. He and Peter Firmin created each episode in a barn and they each took a month to make.
Tangent: The highest amount of viewers the Clangers got was 10 million, when they appeared on an episode of Doctor Who called The Sea Devils.

Tangent: Stephen reads out a letter from the son of Peter Hawkins, correcting an earlier mistake made on QI saying the language was Flobbadob (See QI Series "B", Episode 10).General Ignorance:

Tangent: The Nokia company produces 6½ mobile phones a second.

Tangent: Stephen's complete misunderstandings of Geordie slang.

Tangent: Wogan holds the record for the longest televised putt with a 33 yarder at Gleneagles.

  • 0% of money donated to Children in Need goes towards administration costs.

Tangent: The first Children in Need in 1980 raised £1 million.

Episode 9 "Doves"

Broadcast dates:

Tangent: It was once awarded to a cat that was aboard HMS Amethyst during the Yangtze incident in 1949, when it ate all the rats aboard.

  • A kamikaze pigeon unit was set up to use pigeons in missiles. The pigeon was trained to peck at a ship. In the missile, if the ship was slightly to one side, the pigeon would peck on a glass target and it would relay a signal moving the missile and it would continuously peck as the ship got bigger and bigger. Every time it pecked correctly, the pigeon would be showered with grain. It wasn't used in combat. See Project Pigeon.

Tangent: The extinction of the Passenger Pigeon.
Tangent: Pablo Picasso was a pigeon fancier and his father was a painter of pigeons and never painted again when he saw how good his son was. He collected Fan tail pigeons and he named his daughter "Paloma", which is the Spanish for pigeon or dove.

Tangent: The Fountain is signed "R. Mutt". The R stood for "Richard", which is French slang for "Moneybags".
Tangent: One person was fined $6,500 for urinating in it. It's valued at $3.6million.

  • The dik-dik is able to hide, unlike the dodo, which is probably one of the reasons why the dodo is now extinct.

Tangent: The dodo is related to the pigeon. It was forgotten until 1860, when it appeared Alice in Wonderland.

Tangent: Sperm whales have a bone in their penis, like a badger.

Tangent: Nevison never harmed anyone as a highwayman.
Tangent: Dick Turpin, his brother-in-law and how his post master taught him to read
Tangent: Timothy Spall's film about Pierrepoint, which revealed that Pierrepoint took 7 seconds from leaving his cell to hanging a prisoner.
Tangent: The life expectancy in some parts of America is lower than on Death Row.General Ignorance:

Tangent: Medical students rarely get to dissect a human in their studies any more.

Tangent: Fluffers in the porn industry aren't used any more, because of Viagra.

Tangent: There is a statue of the Mozambique-born Eusebio (their most famous player) outside Benfica's stadium.
Tangent: Laurence Llewellyn Bowen incorrectly answered the £1 Million on Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, the right answer being E pluribus unum, however this was found the be incorrect and he was asked back to answer a different £1 Million question

This was a bonus question for 50 points was supposed to subsequently asked, only for Fry to accidentally provide the answer before asking the question. Alan Davies then answered the question regardless, and earned the 50 point bonus. As it turned out, he would still have won without the bonus had nobody else answered the question correctly.

Episode 10 "Divination"

Special episode without Alan Davies (he decided to watch Arsenal play in the UEFA Champions League Final which was at the same time as the recording). Shots of him at the start were pre-recorded, he then dematerialised on the TARDIS sound. His answers to the questions were pre-recorded and played in the studio during the recording.Broadcast dates:

  • 24 November 2006 (BBC Four)
  • 1 December 2006 (BBC Two)Panellists:
  • Alan Davies (-70 points)
  • Graeme Garden (Winner with 7 points)
  • Phill Jupitus (6 points)
  • Johnny Vaughan (-19 points) Theme:
  • Each of the panellists were told to predict their scores using a form of divination.
  • Whoever managed to accurately predict their own score at the end would be rewarded with 666 bonus points. No-one managed to do so accurately with their own scores, but Vaughan correctly guessed Garden's score. The 666 points were not given because it had to be their own score they predicted.
  • There is also a Doctor Who theme in this episode. For instance, when Alan Davies disappears, the dematerialisation noise of the TARDIS is heard, and when he calls in for the answer, the Doctor Who theme music is used as his "buzzer".Topics:
  • Fry interprets the panel members' dreams, and comes to the conclusion they are all gay.

Tangent: Margaritomancy is divination using pearls and spatulamancy is divination using sheep's shoulder blades, ornithomancy is reading the flight patterns of birds and hippomancy is using the behaviour of a horse for divination purposes.
Tangent: Horses are as intelligent as tropical fish, in terms of brain power.

Tangent: Derren Brown's trick when you have an empty seat on a train.

Tangent: The word "donkey" first came into the English language in the late 18th century, but it was pronounced as if it was a rhyme for monkey. Before then it was just the word "ass".
Tangent: When you breed a male horse and a female donkey, it is called a hinny.
Tangent: Donkey milk cannot be used to make cheese. Babies in India are all fed on donkey milk. Cleopatra bathed in asses milk and Nero's wife Poppaea Sabina had 300 donkeys milked for her bath.

Tangent: Garry Kasparov accused IBM of cheating, after he planted a trap which he claimed that could only avoided by thinking creatively.
Tangent: Stephen's experience of watching a match between Kasparov and Nigel Short in London.General Ignorance:

Tangent: A bus company in Moscow changed one of its routes from 666 to 616. The A666 is found in Lancashire between Pendlebury to Langho
Tangent: The numbers on a roulette wheel add up to 666.
Tangent: The fear of the number 666 is Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. The fear of the number 616 is Hexakosioidekahexaphobia.

Tangent: Midgeley died aged 55. At the age of 51, he contracted polio and invented himself a harness to get himself out of bed, but one morning it swung around and in the ensuing struggle he strangled himself to death.

Episode 11 "Denial & Deprivation"

Broadcast dates:

  • 1 December 2006 (BBC Four)
  • 8 December 2006 (BBC Two)Panellists:
  • Alan Davies (-39 points)
  • Roger McGough (Joint Winner with 1 point)
  • Vic Reeves (Joint Winner with 1 point)
  • Mark Steel (-6 points) Buzzers:
  • Roger - Bell (by pulling decorated rope hanging from the ceiling)
  • Mark - Ruler twanged off the side of his desk
  • Vic Reeves - Hand-bell
  • Alan - Squeaky soft toy (causing a "Chipmunks" music clip to be played)Theme:
  • The show was deprived of the normal set. Instead, Alan Davies and Mark Steel were sitting at school desks, Roger McGough and Vic Reeves had side tables and glasses of whisky and Stephen Fry sat at an auctioneer's stand with a gavel. The lighting director was "fired" so there was a lack of light. Some of the studio was lit by candles. The audience was forced to watch in the street. The buzzers were hand-cranked.
  • The team were each given a tray, containing dental floss, chili powder, a potato and a green pen. The panellists had to find out how each item had been used in a prison escape.
    • Green pen - Steven Russell coloured his shirt green, the same colour shirts as those of the prison doctors, and walked out of the prison.
    • Dental floss - Vincenzo Curcio used floss to file down the bars.
    • Chili powder - Five prisoners from Pakistan threw spice powder into the eyes of a warden and ran out of the prison.
    • Potato - John Dillinger stole a raw potato, carved it into the shape of a gun, painted it black with boot polish and held up a warden with it.Topics:
  • According to Anna Freud, when children play with their food, they are really playing with their excrement.

Tangent: Sigmund Freud's fear of the number 62 and his refusal to book into hotels with more than 61 rooms.

  • William Banting and the invention of diets. In 1864, he wrote a booklet called "Letter on Corpulence Addressed to the Public", which gave word to the term "to bant", which is dieting.

Tangent: William Taft and his idea of diets as he was so fat, he couldn't get out of his bath. This then moved to Hollywood. In the 1950s, people used a tapeworm pill, which is when you swallowed a tapeworm egg. Alan's friend had a long.

Tangent: The Marquis de Sade's imprisonment in the Bastille, and the loss of his work. He was moved prisons for shouting obscenities at the other people in the prison through a tube.
Tangent: There are many misconceptions that the Tower of London was a poor place to be kept in, it was a very civilized place to be kept prisoner.

Tangent: Ronnie Kray's homosexuality, and the twins' relationship with David Bailey.
Tangent: David Puttnam used to manage the Kray twins.
Tangent: A poem about Hoover the talking seal is written by Roger.General Ignorance:

Tangent: Tibet supposedly smells of butter and the buttermilk sculptures of animals.
Tangent: A female yak is called a nak. A wild yak is around 6' 5", a domesticated yak is around 4' tall.
Tangent: Yak hair is the longest of any animal. A lot of the wigs found in the BBC store were made of yak and beards for people pretending to be Santa Claus are very likely to be made of yak hair.

Tangent: A poem about crabs by Roger.
Tangent: A Crab louse has 6 legs. Crab louses are so named because they latch onto the follicles onto pubes, eyelashes, or even beards.

Episode 12 "Domesticity"

Broadcast dates:

Tangent: "Dry cleaning" is a term used by spies to see if they are being followed or not.

Tangent: Neutrinos are mainly invented to make all mathematics in modern physics work.
Tangent: Davis is the in the Guinness Book of Records as the oldest person ever to win the Nobel Prize, aged 88.

Tangent: Jo tries to guess her own quote: "How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house? Look inside your pants, if you find a penis in there, it's not time."

Tangent: Cochrane's grandfather was John Fitch, who invented the steamboat.
Tangent: The 1893 World's Fair also had the first Ferris wheel on display, made by the inventor George Ferris.
Tangent: In Britain, the odds of being killed at home are the same as being killed in a car crash. In 2003, a woman in Scotland was killed in a freak dishwasher accident, when she slipped on the floor and was impaled on a knife that was sticking out of the dishwasher. Stephen cut his palm doing that once.

Tangent: Phill mocks Stephen for his mention of copper kettles and later mentions Stephen's Twinings adverts.

Tangent: Door hinges were originally made of wood.
Tangent: Stephen and Hugh Laurie's plasterers were Charlie Higson and Paul Whitehouse. Phill then does his impressions of Hugh & Stephen.General Ignorance:

Tangent: Stephen's story about a man called "Heinz", who was discovered wanking in a can of baked beans, while at school.

  • "Have you ever slid down a banister?" - No, because people slide down the balustrade. (Forfeit: Yes)
  • William Wordsworth could not smell. He suffered from Anosmia. (Forfeit: Daffodils) (This question was worth 200 points to everyone, but instead Alan said the forfeit answer, daffodils)

Episode 13 "December" (Christmas Special)

Broadcast dates:

  • 15 December 2006 (BBC Four)
  • 22 December and 27 December 2006 (BBC Two)Panellists:
  • Alan Davies (-53 points)
  • Jo Brand (-17 points)
  • Rich Hall (-9 points)
  • Dara Ó Briain (Winner with 2 points) Theme:
  • All the questions in General Ignorance are themed on Saints.Topics:

Tangent: More than £20 billion is spent in the United Kingdom during Christmas. 1/3 of books, clothes and toys are sold in the last 8 weeks of the year. 150 million Christmas cards are sent. 7.5 million Christmas trees are decorated. Enough wrapping paper is bought to gift-wrap Guernsey.

Tangent: The Yule Festival, of which the Yule log is named after.

Tangent: What the Royals do on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Stephen is booed because he gets his Christmas tree from the Sandringham Estate, as does the Queen.

Tangent: There is a 25% increase in emergency call-outs in the 2 weeks up to Christmas.
Tangent: Things found inside photocopiers include sleeping cats, a snake, a kitchen knife, a sausage roll, a condom, stockings, a vibrator and a cheque for £6,000.

  • Champagne was invented by the English in the Champagne region of France. There was a 19th century myth that Dom Pérignon accidentally made the champagne fizzy and said, "Come quickly, I am drinking the stars!", which is false. In the 16th century, the British took the flat wine from the region and added sugar and molasses to make it fizzy. (Forfeit: The French)

Tangent: Jo tells about making ginger beer and vodka, and Dara tells the correct way to serve a pint of Guinness, which he learned when he was a barman

Tangent: In English, turkeys are so called because the first merchants to sell them were from Turkey. Nearly all the other countries refer to them as Indian In America, they're referred to as "Fukit".General Ignorance:

Tangent: Saint Brigid's great miracles include laying down a cape and owning whatever land was covered by it. She could also turn used bath water into beer.
Tangent: Alan thinks he looks similar to Saint Bartholomew, but later Stephen thinks he looks like Saint Sebastian.

Tangent: Alan has a picture of "The Creation of Adam" on his mobile phone, even though he was told you weren't allowed to take any pictures.

''Tangent: Jo recalls phoning a person called "Mr. Bastard". Stephen then tells of people who irritate Jesus College, Cambridge by ringing them up on Christmas Day and singing "Happy Birthday to You"

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