The platoon are parading out in the yard. Mainwaring is appalled by the lack of attention taken in their appearance: Walker has his pockets stuffed with sugar and sultanas and Godfrey is wearing a slipper and carrying a walking stick. Mainwaring mentions that he received a message from his CO the other day: he came through and didn't receive a single salute, and Jones had his hands plunged into his trouser pockets. Jones admits that it was because he forgot his braces, and didn't want to cause any embarrassment.
Mainwaring decides to dedicate the rest of the parade to practising saluting. However, the Vicar disrupts the practice, and informs Mainwaring of some illicit graffiti on the back of his spare harmonium. Mainwaring's men sleep in the tower room when on fire watch, so they are the prime suspects. Mainwaring instantly denies this, so he and Wilson decide to go up to the tower room to see for themselves. When Mainwaring and the Vicar reach the top, Mainwaring decides to bring up Jones' section to compare the handwriting. Wilson has only just reached the top before he's asked to go down again and bring up Jones' section.
Leaving Wilson at the bottom of the stairs, each man writes the same word next to the graffiti, much to the Vicar's annoyance. Suddenly, Jones notices something: the Verger is hanging on the cable of a barrage balloon. They all rush downstairs, just as Wilson reaches the top. They manage to get the Verger and the balloon down safely, but they are left hanging onto the ropes for dear life. ARP Warden Hodges arrives and tries to take charge of the situation. He and Mainwaring phone the RAF, but they won't be available until nightfall, leaving the platoon with a dilemma.
It is Walker who suggests taking the balloon to Pinner Woods and tying it to a tree. Jones decides to take his van to prevent it being carried away by the wind. They find a fallen tree just outside the woods. Unfortunately, Jones and the platoon release their ropes too soon, and the balloon floats away, taking Mainwaring with it! The platoon, the Vicar and the Verger follow it in the van, while Hodges borrows a tricycle from Mr Blewitt, and a tandem from a young couple. Mainwaring gets entangled in topiaries, haystacks and washing lines before the balloon finally comes to rest on a railway bridge.
Walker notices a train coming, so they quickly drag Mainwaring and the balloon off the bridge, and Mainwaring collapses as the platoon secure the balloon. Unfortunately, when an RAF Officer turns up, Jones orders the platoon to salute, therefore releasing the balloon, and starting the chase all over again.
|Arthur Lowe||Captain Mainwaring|
|John Le Mesurier||Sergeant Wilson|
|Clive Dunn||Lance Corporal Jones|
|John Laurie||Private Frazer|
|James Beck||Private Walker|
|Arnold Ridley||Private Godfrey|
|Ian Lavender||Private Pike|
|Bill Pertwee||ARP Warden Hodges|
|Frank Williams||The Vicar|
|Edward Sinclair||The Verger|
|Nan Braunton||Cissy Godfrey|
|Jennifer Browne||W.A.A.F. Sergeant|
|Andrew Carr||Operations Room Officer|
|Thérèse McMurray||Girl in the Haystack|
|Kenneth Watson||RAF Officer|
|Vicki Lane||Girl on the Tandem|
|Harold Bennett||Mr Blewitt|