Son of the Beach

Son of the Beach was a television series (2000-2002) that was a spoof of Baywatch. Much of the comedy of the series was based on sexual jokes, innuendo and the like. The chief joke being that the studly David Hasselhoff character is instead a average, pot-bellied and out of shape bald man, but treated exactly the same as an attractive male. Radio talk show host Howard Stern was one of the executive producers.

The show centered on the adventures of Shore Patrol Force 30 (SPF 30, a pun on the term Sun Protection Factor), led by the pasty, out of shape and clueless lifeguard Notch Johnson. The rest of his patrol consists of B.J. Cummings (the dumb, White big-chested lifeguard), Jamaica St. Croix (the dumb, African-American big-chested lifeguard), Chip Rommel (the dumb, hunky, muscular male lifeguard who is an obvious parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Kimberlee Clark (the smart but flat-chested female lifeguard, and straight man of the series). Many of the plots revolved around silly action genre clichés and movie parodies, with many of the feature roles played by actors and celebrities such as Mark Hamill, Alan Thicke, Erik Estrada, Gary Coleman, John Salley, Joey Buttafuoco, Patty Hearst, Adam Carolla, and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf.

The title is a pun on the phrase "son of a bitch." Likewise, character names are rife with puns and innuendo. Porcelain Bidet, B.J. Cummings, Jamaica St. Croix, Anita Massengil, and Notch Johnson all refer to some sort of double entendre, while Chip Rommel's name refers to the "Desert Fox", further punctuating the fact that the character is German. Kimberlee Clark's name is a pun on the company Kimberly-Clark, manufacturer of paper products such as Kleenex and Kotex.


Episode list

Season 1

15 March 2000 - 12 September 2000

  • With Sex You Get Eggroll (3/15/00)
  • Silence of the Clams (3/22/00)
  • In the G-Hetto (3/29/00)
  • Love, Native-American Style (4/5/00)
  • Two Thongs Don't Make a Right (4/12/00)
  • Fanny and the Professor (4/19/00)
  • Eat My Muffin (8/2/00)
  • Miso Honei (8/9/00)
  • South of Her Border (8/16/00)
  • Day of the Jackass (8/23/00)
  • A Star Is Boned (8/30/00)
  • Attack of the Cocktopuss (9/6/00)
  • Mario Putzo's 'The Last Dong' (9/13/00)

Season 2

13 March 2001 - 17 July 2001

  • B.J. Blue Hawaii (3/13/01)
  • From Russia, with Johnson (3/20/01)
  • Remember Her Titans (3/27/01)
  • Rod Strikes Back (4/3/01)
  • Queefer Madness (4/10/01)
  • Light My Firebush (4/17/01)
  • Chip's a Goy (4/23/01)
  • A Tale of Two Johnsons (5/28/01)
  • It's a Nude, Nude, Nude, Nude World (6/5/01)
  • It's Showtime at the Apollo 13! (6/12/01)
  • The Island of Dr. Merlot (6/19/01)
  • The Sexorcist (6/26/01)
  • Grand Prix (7/3/01)
  • Area 69 (7/10/01)
  • Booger Nights (7/17/01)

Season 3

18 June 2002 - 1 October 2002

  • Penetration Island (6/18/02)
  • Saturday Night Queefer (6/25/02)
  • In the Line of Booty (7/2/02)
  • Three Days of the Condom (7/9/02)
  • Witness for the Prostitution (7/16/02)
  • Gay Team (7/23/02)
  • You Only Come Once (7/30/02)
  • Hamm Stroker's Suck My Blood (8/6/02)
  • Godfather Knows Best (8/13/02)
  • Empty the Dragon (8/20/02)
  • The Long Hot Johnson (8/27/02)
  • Taco Lips Now: Part 1 (9/17/02)
  • Jailhouse Notch: Part 2 (9/24/02)
  • Bad News, Mr. Johnson (10/1/02)

DVD release

Son of the Beach Volume 1 was released on April 29, 2003, containing the first 21 episodes of the series (through Season 2 episode "A Tale of Two Johnsons"). The DVD also contains writer/director/cast commentary on select episodes, introductions by Timothy Stack as Notch Johnson, Too Hot for TV montages, behind the scenes featurettes, outtakes, and TV spots.

On May 30, 2008 it was announced the remaining episodes would be released on November 11, 2008.

External links


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