beans

Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit

"Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit" is a schoolyard saying and children's song about the capacity for beans to contribute to flatulence. The song is also variously known as "Beans, Beans, the Magical Fruit" and "Beans, Beans, the Wonderful Fruit". One variation of the song is titled "Beans, Beans, They're Good for Your Heart."

The basis of the song (and bean/fart humor in general) is the high amount of oligosaccharides present in beans. Bacteria in the large intestine digest these sugars, producing carbon dioxide and hydrogen. These gases are expelled from the body as flatulence.

Versions

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

likewise

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So let's eat beans for every meal!

and another versions lyrics run

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat your beans with every meal!

and another version lyrics run

Beans, beans, good for your heart,
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the more you eat,
The more you sit on the toilet seat!

and another version lyrics run

Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So lift your leg, and let them squeal!

and another version lyrics run

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feal...
Lets have beans for every meal!

and another version lyrics run

Beans, beans, the fruitful tart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the better you feel.
So lift your leg, and let them squeal!

and another version lyrics run

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
the more you eat the more you toot,
The more you toot, the more you want to eat
beans, beans the musical fruit
[lyrics repeat]

or

Beans, beans, they make you fart
the more you eat them the more you fart,
the more you fart, the better you feel
so eat your beans at every meal

or
Beans, beans, they're good for your heart.
The more you eat, the more you fart.
The more you fart, the more you smell.
So eat more beans and fart like hell!

Popular culture references

  • In The Simpsons episode Whacking Day when Bart is expelled from Springfield Elementary, his parents enroll him in a private Christian school. However he gets in trouble almost immediately for singing "Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit" when asked for a psalm, and is chased from the building by the teacher and other students. In the opening sequence of another episode, Bart can be seen writing "Beans are neither fruit nor musical" on the blackboard.
  • In Stephen King's The Gunslinger, the first part of The Dark Tower, this song is sung by Zolton, a raven kept by an eccentric young man living in the lonely desert, who provides hospitality to the gunslinger on his quest.
  • In an episode of Rocko's Modern Life, Heffer is asked to say a few words and breaks out in the song.
  • In the Ed, Edd, N' Eddy episode "Tinker Ed", Ed sings the song but gets interrupted by Eddy, who says, "Shut up, Ed!" and pulls Ed's face away from the camera with his mouth.
  • In an episode of Animaniacs, Dot performs a variation of the song in her Poetry Corner: "Beans, beans / The musical fruit / The more you eat / The more they kick you off the air if you finish this poem. Thank you."
  • In The Jacksons: An American Dream, when the family complains of eating an austere diet of beans, it prompts two of the youngest children to break into a chorus of "beans, beans, the musical fruit" before being silenced by an angry look from Joseph Jackson, who clearly lets it be known that is inappropriate conduct at the dining table.

References

  • Dawson, Jim. Who Cut the Cheese?: A Cultural History of the Fart, ISBN 1580080111

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