The town becomes a flurry of excitement as everyone prepares for Kathie Lee's arrival, including Mayor McDaniels, who is organizing a big event to showcase the town, hoping to further her career. Chef, who is to sing at the event, hopes this will enable him to have sex with her.
Meanwhile, the children are asked to be in a play that depicts the history of South Park, including pioneers and Indians, to honor Kathie Lee with Mr. Garrison as the director. Unfortunately, the rehearsal is very historically accurate, in which the kids playing pioneers come in and brutally beat up the kids playing the Indians with fake rifles. To make matters worse, Mr. Garrison, after being convinced and manipulated by Mr. Hat, plots to kill Kathie Lee for upstaging him and Mr. Hat with a rendition of "If They Could See Me Now" during a national talent show when they were children. Mr. Garrison plots to shoot her from the book depository.
Mayor McDaniels tells Cartman that he needs to get in shape for Kathie Lee's visit. He sees a commercial for Weight Gain 4000, a bodybuilding supplement. The advertisement refers to a "ninety-pound weakling". Cartman tells his mom to purchase some for him, since he weighs ninety pounds as well. Consequently, he gets explosively fat. While Cartman takes his obesity to the next level, Mr. Garrison visits a gun shop to buy a rifle. Jimbo offers him many different sized rifles and Mr. Garrison ends up taking a large one with a wooden handle.
Wendy discovers Mr. Garrison's plan while sifting through the essays in his files to confirm that Cartman cheated. As it turns out, Cartman simply got a copy of Walden by Henry David Thoreau and wrote his name on it. Wendy and Stan try but fail to stop Mr. Garrison from assassinating Kathie Lee. He misses her and hits Kenny in the head, propelling him through the air where he is impaled on a flagpole. Gifford's bodyguards whisk Kathie Lee away, making Cartman lose his chance to be on television.
The episode ends with Mr. Garrison in a mental hospital (with Mr. Hat in a straitjacket) and Cartman appearing on Geraldo because of his obesity, where he comically states "Follow your dreams. You can reach your goals, I'm living proof...Beefcake, BEEFCAKE!" Also, Chef succeeds in having sex with Kathie Lee.