Definitions

Massacration

Massacration

Massacration is a Brazilian satirical heavy metal band, the self-proclaimed "greatest and most classic heavy metal band, the inspiration behind most heavy bands since 1985, whose members' hairdos and posing influenced the whole heavy metal culture". The classical line-up consists of Detonator (a castrato vocalist, Bruno Sutter), Blond Hammet (lead guitar, Fausto Fanti), Jimmy "The Hammer" (drums, Felipe Torres), Headmaster (rhythm guitar, Adriano Pereira) and Metal Avenger (bass, Marco Antônio Alves).

Massacration was created in the sketch comedy show Hermes & Renato along with other fake bands like samba school "Unidos do Caralho a Quatro" or the axé band "Coração Melão" (Melon Heart). But, like The Monkees, Massacration became a huge success, and a real band.

History

Origin

According to a mockumentary shown in MTV (parodying their own Rockumentary format) in December 2004, the band began in 1979, when a young delinquent called John Hammet (Blondie Hammet) was directed by the sixth time to a unit for infractors. There, Hammet played guitar as his only hobby, thus bringing the attention of David Sutter (Detonator), committed for trafficking quails. They had become very close friends. After being released from detention, they approached Donald Polai and formed a band called Death Mania (which seemes to be more like a metal jam band, seeing as there was no bassist or drummer - Polai played tambourine). Unfortunately, the band lasted nothing but a couple of minutes after their first gig when Polai, influenced by the name, committed suicide.

Hammet and Sutter, depressed over the loss, became addicted to pasta from a ristorante named "Massas Crezio" (Crezio's Pasta - so called after Crezio, the young owner of the establishment), and ate so much of his food they wound up going 100 pounds overweight. Crezio intervened, conceding them a space in his property so that Hammet and Sutter could rehearse, which made them overcome their depression and lose all the weight they had gained. In order to reform the band, they decided to put an ad in a local newspaper looking for a drummer, a rhythm guitarist and a bassist. The three candidates who filled these spots were, respectively, Jimmy "The Hammer" Lombardo, Klaus Bisonnette (Headmaster) and Rick Banday (Metal Avenger). Coincidentally enough, all three of them worked with Crezio. The band was formed again. In order to pay homage to Crezio and his pivotal role on getting the band back together (also because his business sponsored the band), the band was rebaptized as MASSASCREZIO. The cacophonic name later on suffered a series of mutations: MASSACREZIO, MASSACRETION, and finally MASSACRATION .

Right after their first gig as Massacration, they had already hooked up with Dick Dornelle, a famed record producer who had worked with the likes of Queen, Iron Maiden and Michael Jackson. With Dornelle, the band had signed with a label called Shusi Records and, even without any recorded material, their popularity had skyrocketed in but a matter of hours. Only then would they go on to record their first single, "Metal Massacre Attack", whose recording sessions lasted two whole months in a studio in North Carolina. "Metal Massacre Attack" consolidated their success by debuting at number one on Billboard Hot 100, anachronistically in front of contemporary names like Usher, Maroon 5 and Gavin DeGraw, and earning the band a "Gremlin".

However, their fast-attained superstardom and wealth brought about excesses, like each band member buying and customizing their own airplanes fot touring (which caught Ozzy Osbourne's attention back in 1987), and drug addiction by Detonator (he had become addicted to glue); in this case, so much so, that he protagonized a public shame when joking about Somali people at a Live Aid-like event. After that, Detonator was fired, and Massacration's popularity was run down to the ground as quickly as it had been boosted to the skies. Metal Avenger, Headmaster and Jimmy "the Hammer" even considered applying again to Crezio for work.

One day however, Detonator, reduced to a pauper, knocked the door to Hammet's house. They instantly recognized themselves and the reunion brought about a maelstrom of emotions. Clean from his addiction, Detonator was readmitted into the band, making the three remaining members change their minds about taking their old jobs back. As their comeback act, the band promptly released their second single, "Metal Bucetation", which rose them to the top again due to its lightning-quick selling - there were even riots because there were relatively too few singles for too much people. Trailing this success came "Metal Milk Shake", their third single, that sold 12 billion copies, certifying them with a sixfold diamond record (actually, by RIAA standards, such a mark is equivalent to 1,200 diamond records), as well as helping Massacration be heralded with the Nobel Prize in Music, which had only been awarded to Mozart, Beethoven and Frank Sinatra.

Biography

The band was idealized by and composed of members of the Brazilian comedy act Hermes & Renato that aired on MTV in 2002, in a trash horror movie-like segment that showed a youngster who bought a Massacration record and, by playing it backwards, triggered a curse that, ultimately, turned back against him. After this segment, followed an "exclusive interview" with the five band members and then, the video premiere for "Metal Massacre Attack". In these segments, the name of the band did not have the present spelling: it read "Masacretion" on the record cover, and "Massacrassion" from the interview sketch up to the video itself.

After the making of the song (and video) "Metal Massacre Attack", the video began airing not only on the Hermes e Renato comedy show, but also on the MTV regular rotation videos. The promo video was such a success that the crew was forced to make more songs and videos. "Metal Bucetation" followed "Metal Massacre Attack".

In 2005 they finally finished their first album, Gates of Metal Fried Chicken of Death, produced by João Gordo, lead singer of Ratos de Porão, a reputed hardcore punk Brazilian band. The first single was Metal is the Law.

They have been requested to perform live their songs, and have so far appeared in the Abril Pro Rock Festival and Brasil Metal Union (the latter an all-heavy metal festival). Most of the humour effect of the band relies on its use of a fake English (mocking the fact that many Brazilians prefer foreign music despite being unable to understand it), exaggerate posing, outrageous clothes and gear.

The success they achieved was so high, they even have their own MTV show, where only heavy metal videos are broadcasted (which, to some, is surprising, considering the pop-oriented nature of MTV).

It is rumored that their tour drummer is Igor Cavalera, former member of Sepultura. Massacration actually opened some venues for Sepultura during the course of 2005, and Cavalera actually played with them in some venues, under the alias "El Covero" (Spanish for the gravedigger).

Massacration debuted in 2006 in Rockgol, a Brazilian MTV show, in the Pirulândia team, along with Supla, Falamansa, Sonic Jr. and Lucas Santtana.

Style

Massacration chiefly satirises Manowar, Angra, Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, with minor references to Sepultura, Saxon, Black Sabbath and Viking metal in general. Their main targets are the Brazilian heavy/power metal fans who can't speak English but still love the genre, the Brazilian groups who sing in (often broken) English (like Angra, Dr Sin, Sepultura, Viper and others) and the heavy metal culture in general, with its leather jackets, black clothes, long hair and frowns. The very fact that the Brazilian headbangers laughed at their jokes and even embraced their music.

Regarding their lyrics, they are intentionally written in a very broken English (which may be unintelligible in a native speaker's ears) mixed with embromation (macaronic words formed by the addition of typical English suffixes like -ation, -atic, -ful, -ness and others to Portuguese roots). Sometimes entire sentences or stanzas can be in Portuguese -- and not gibberish, unlike some foreigners believe. For instance, the introduction of "Metal is the Law" includes the lines: ai, ai, ai, ai,/ em cima, embaixo/e puxa e vai, which would translate to ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh/above, below/pull and go. Also, some words whose translation would not be known are thrown in the lyrics in Portuguese, like the first verse of "Metal Dental Destruction", which says "fear of the killing broca...", in which broca refers to a dental drill.

The overall image of the band, their subjects and the recurrent terminology suggest a heavy influence of Manowar (and Judas Priest as well, especially when it comes to their image of leather-clad headbangers). However, while most of their songs have names that suggest violence, death, sorrow and sacrilege, they are actually always light-hearted, humorous and naïve, pointing to a joyride lifestyle instead of the gloomy atmosphere of actual heavy metal records.

Discography

Gates Of Metal Fried Chicken Of Death

All links redirect to audio samples of each song.

  1. Intro -- A cake recipe read by a dark, pithy voice, with macabre background sound effects.
  2. Metal Is The Law -- A "true headbanger" rants against all other musical genres.
  3. Evil Papagali -- Rambles about an evil parrot that tyranises his owner.
  4. Metal Massacre Attack (Aruê Aruô) -- The first song released by the band, "it's all about metal and all of its power", according to Jimmy "the Hammer" in an early interview.
  5. Feel The Fire From Barbecue -- Powerful riffs introduce the sad tale of a poor cow that was chasen, killed and eaten by a group of hungry headbangers.
  6. Metal Milkshake -- Powerful riffs introduc macaronic lyrics about fat teenagers wearing black shirts and taking milkshake instead of liquor and playing videogames instead of engaging on riots.
  7. The God Master -- Jokes told by the Brazilian humorist Costinha mixed with a guitar riff.
  8. Cereal Metal -- Calls the fans of black metal to use cereal in their black masses, among other uses.
  9. Metal Dental Destruction -- Pays homage to the sadistic dentist portrayed by Steve Martin in the movie The Little Shop of Horrors; in a general sense, it pokes fun at the fear most people have of attending dentists.
  10. Let's Ride To Metal Land (The Passage Is R$1,00) -- A song about a "land not far away" where "heavy metal rules" and "all people wear black". "To this land there is no plane, to this land there is no ship, to this land there's only one bus..."
  11. Metal Glu Glu (With Sérgio Mallandro) -- An homage to a trash pop hit of the 80s that is widely considered (by Brazilians) one of the worst songs ever recorded (and which, even back then, was seen as something shameful to be caught listening). Mallandro was also the protagonist of a film that is often quoted as the worst Brazilian film ever.
  12. Away Doom -- A man called Gil Brother Away screams throughout the song, begging for help, because someone is out to kill him. Gil Brother is a humorist from Brazil, and his song is about the execution on the ghettos, but all with humor and portraying his own character of the comedy show "Hermes e Renato"
  13. Metal Bucetation -- Features a lengthy and over-the-top introduction and lots of vocalises before starting to say that music, after all, is all about having sex (buceta is one of the many profanities said in Portuguese for vagina, most literally meaning cunt).
  14. Bonus -- Several seconds of silence after the end of "Metal Bucetation", a techno version of "Metal Massacre Attack" starts playing.

"Trivia"

  • Jimmy Hammer and Headmaster, before being part of Massacration, played in a now defunct band named M.M.U.S! (Metal Makes Us Strong!). This band name may be a pun on the name of a real Brazilian rock band called P.U.S. (which was a punk rock band).

  • The Manowar song "Kill With Power" was written by Massacration at Eric Adams' request. Later on, Manowar insert some "little fag solos" (according to Detonator) and began to play it as if it were their own song, including it in their third studio album, Hail to England.
  • It was once mentioned in their half-hour heavy metal show Total Massacration that the introduction to Yngwie Malmsteen's song "I'll See the Light Tonight", off his third album Marching Out, was ripped off from the intro to Massacration's "Metal Massacre Attack".
  • Because of their incredible sales, Massacration have a Triple-Radioactive-Plutonium Disc.
  • Blondie Hammet explained once that most of their lyrics are in English because "If God is Brazilian, the Devil surely is American, and because of this we write our lyrics in English".
  • Their motto is: "DEATH TO ALL THOSE WHO PLAY FALSE METAL".
  • Detonator let his hair grow since he was nine years old because, according to him, his father doctrined him in the ways of metal. Blondie Hammet and Headmaster admittedly wear wigs. Metal Avenger has naturally long hair but never washes it and Jimmy "The Hammer"' has his boyfriend take care of his hair. In the same interview for Verão MTV Detonator said that he is the last castrati, method which they cut off the testicles in order to have a "metal style" voice, he also, said that Andre Matos (formerly from Angra and Shaaman) is also a castratti. Though in a Brazilian rock magazine, Detonator says he cut off his penis instead, using a bread-cutting knife, by mistake.
  • Many of the members' names refer to real-life heavy rock musicians: John Hammett (and also his stage name, Blondie Hammett) is a reference to Metallica lead guitarist Kirk Hammett; Jimmy "The Hammer" Lombardo refers to Slayer drummer Dave Lombardo; Klaus Bisonnette (Headmaster's "real" name) refers to Greg Bissonette, who played with David Lee Roth and Joe Satriani (though Greg is actually a drummer). David Sutter (Detonator's "real" name), though, refers instead to the actor who portrays him, Bruno Sutter.
  • Massacration's claim of inventors of heavy metal was "revealed" in a rock magazine interview as follows: Blondie Hammett had as co-worker in a steel factory Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi, who stole a demo tape inadvertently left at the factory by Hammett. The tape contained a slow-paced heavy guitar riff, which Iommi took for himself, and renamed it as "Black Sabbath". After finding this out, Hammett chopped off the "motherfucking mustachio" Iommi's left ring finger and pinky with a lathe as retaliation. This was later further explored in an interview to a website, in which Detonator added that then-future Brazilian president Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva tried to stop the fight and ended up losing his left pinky himself.

See also

External links

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