Longbox Option Package

Longbox Option Package is the name of a 2006 retrospective box set by the surreal prank call artist known only as Longmont Potion Castle. It was released in an extremely limited quantity by the independent label D.U. Records, and only occasionally appears for sale on eBay.

The set contains seven audio discs and one DVD. Included are Volume 1, Volume 2, Volume 3, Volume 4, Late-Eighties-Vein, Volume 5 and Volume 7. Although most of the recordings had been previously released, the majority of them are out of print and difficult to find. Volume 7, the box set's only disc of new material, is actually comprised entirely of grind/metal music that was included on the original cassette pressings of the albums, but had to be cut due to the time restraints of compact discs — the cassette versions were all approximately 90 minutes, whereas compact discs at the time could only hold about 75 minutes. The DVD contains the videos Live From Longmont Potion Castle, Return to Longmont Potion Castle as well as several other clips.

In 2006, the artist behind Longmont Potion Castle claimed that Longbox Option Package would be his final release under the moniker. About two years later, an album of entirely new recordings, Volume 6, was also porported to be Longmont's last.

Reviews

Longbox Option Package was named as one of 2006's best releases by San Francisco's Aquarius Records. They also cited it as "Easily the best, funniest, most bizarre series of crank calls ever," and likened his demeanor and humor to that of alternative comic, Steven Wright. The release was also hailed by comedy and music critic, Mark Prindle.

Track listing

Disc 1: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 1

1. "Longmont Theme 1"
2. "Brian"
3. "Longmont Theme 2"
4. "Polynesian Showgroup"
5. "Sweet's Auido:Video"
6. "Lotion 1"
7. "Longmont Medley 1"
8. "Lotion 2"
9. "Exotic Cookies 1"
10. "I Don't Know, Brother 1"
11. "Nipper 1"
12. "Matthew: 5, Verse: 9"
13. "Fists 1"
14. "Bracket"
15. "Les"
16. "Sam Goody"
17. "Longmont Medley 2"
18. "Spit Peaches"
19. "Exotic Cookies 2"
20. "Bugs"
21. "Concrete Fountains"
22. "I Don't Know, Brother 2"
23. "Known French Lady"
24. "Frank"
25. "Valdez Chewbacca"
26. "The Wall"
27. "Longmont Medley 3"
28. "Chalice"
29. "Bonecrusher Smith"
30. "The Evil Dope"
31. "Exotic Cookies 3"
32. "Whip 1"
33. "Whip 2"
34. "Voice Over Guy 1"
35. "Helium Lambs"
36. "Whistle Blower"
37. "OK, You Got It"
38. "Evergreen Motel 1"
39. "Longmont Medley 4"
40. "I Don't Know, Brother 3"
41. "Stop This Nonsense"
42. "I'm In My Barn"
43. "Travis"
44. "Listen, Steve"
45. "Candice"
46. "Greetings"
47. "Party Line"
48. "Nipper 2"
49. "Lamb"
50. "Fingerhut"
51. "Chisel"
52. "2 Live Crew"
53. "Cricus Tickets"
54. "Burn"
55. "Putty 1"
56. "Putty 2"
57. "Old Timer"
58. "Dudley"
59. "Do You Catch My Drift"
60. "Fists 2"
61. "Packaging Store 1"
62. "Rap Hotline"
63. "Packaging Store 2"
64. "Otis"
65. "Voice Mail Mysteries"
66. "Cleats"

Disc 2: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 2

Disc 3: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 3

1. "Rich Karlas" (0:49)
2. "AT&T vs. MCI" (2:56)
3. "Freddie" (0:46)
4. "Goggle by Tandy" (2:10)
5. "Evergreen Motel 3" (2:24)
6. "Give Me the Phone Number" (0:42)
7. "Nugent" (1:33)
8. "Vitamin Guy" (10:28)
9. "Flutter Rate" (1:00)
10. "Desmond" (1:01)
11. "Nouget" (0:33)
12. "Rolo" (0:58)
13. "Centipedes 1" (0:49)
14. "Wedge of Mackerel" (1:16)
15. "Rope" (2:33)
16. "GG Allin (featuring GG Allin)" (0:55)
17. "Elephant Tonsils" (0:39)
18. "Steve's Meat Market 4" (1:06)
19. "Centipedes 2" (0:29)
20. "Sausage Lady 1" (0:20)
21. "Donut Handler" (1:09)
22. "Nannette Nunanacci" (1:27)
23. "Gugliotta 1" (0:53)
24. "Julio Ointment" (2:28)
25. "Sausage Lady 2" (2:30)
26. "Gugliotta 2" (0:58)
27. "Gomez" (2:49)
28. "Spleen" (1:40)
29. "Coaxial Flutter" (1:41)
30. "Red Miller" (0:36)
31. "Lesbian Music" (1:10)
32. "Putty 1" (0:38)
33. "Putty Theme" (0:59)
34. "Lion's Lair" (0:45)
35. "Wizard of Wor" (2:56)
36. "Underbakke & Associates" (2:52)
37. "Puffy Twinkie" (2:09)
38. "Student in Guitar Lesson" (1:41)
39. "Cymbal" (0:58)
40. "Scrotum Sausage" (0:15)
41. "Putty 2" (1:13)
42. "Sausage Lady 3" (0:27)
43. "Laverne Beasley Lithograph" (0:31)
44. "Ethel's House of Soul" (0:21)
45. "Rusty Savage" (0:28)
46. "Buddy Gripple" (1:08)
47. "Zingers" (0:32)
48. "Shut Up" (0:29)
49. "Brother Marvin" (1:46)
50. "Embroidered Nipper" (0:24)
51. "Grandpa Tweedles" (1:02)
52. "Stick Insect" (0:14)
53. "Bonecrusher Smith" (0:19)
54. "DeFranco's Boots" (0:55)
55. "Nectarines" (2:04)

Disc 4: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 4

1. "Theexcitementoftandy"
2. "Retrovaporizednebulizer"
3. "Talkin'whip"
4. "Chess"
5. "Gettingnice"
6. "Nohaircuts"
7. "Bert"
8. "Pleatedapproach"
9. "Nash"
10. "Montoyan/artesianconnection"
11. "Bud"
12. "Tosirwithmillipedes"
13. "Voltorforglick"
14. "Coalition#1"
15. "Coalition#2"
16. "Snowcamps"
17. "Livelambfromlebanon#1"
18. "Bruschotti"
19. "Livelambfromlebanon#2"
20. "Goodlord"
21. "Themeaningoftheword"
22. "Haroldsacks"
23. "Vendingmachines"
24. "Antonio"
25. "Warble"
26. "Nobueno"
27. "Owl#1"
28. "Owl#2"
29. "Mumraandape"
30. "Crashout"
31. "Darwiniansociety"
32. "Thepolishstallion"
33. "Abraham"
34. "Abrahamdropshismask"
35. "Collage#1"
36. "Buzzoff"
37. "Les"
38. "Nowhiring"
39. "Collage#2"
40. "Collage#3"
41. "Falconandwhip"
42. "Killthewhip"
43. "Atthefeetofthemaster"
44. "Noteethtobust"
45. "Sonofabitch"
46. "Extralargesausages"
47. "Dicktrickle"
48. "Christianconnections"
49. "Asimpleinquiry"
50. "Metalinterlude#5"
51. "Lipitor"
52. "Accidentaldeathinsurance"
53. "Y2K"
54. "Scrimmage"
55. "Squidonmyside"
56. "Octopus"
57. "Answerteam"
58. "Rex"
59. "Leprechanjulius"
60. "Batfish"
61. "Wallace"
62. "Mortuaryvs.officemax"
63. "Waxtraxvs.chic-fil-a"
64. "Albertsonsvs.albertsons"
65. "Tommywong'svs.tonyrigatoni's"
66. "Sunshinevs.julius"
67. "Blockbustervs.blockbuster"
68. "Wallunitsvs.wafflehouse"

Disc 5: Late-Eighties-Vein

1. "Stop Playing Harmonica" (1:21)
2. "Goat" (3:37)
3. "Levi" (0:50)
4. "Peacock" (6:26)
5. "Sam Goody" (3:43)
6. "Beef House" (4:30)
7. "Rec Center" (0:44)
8. "Orange Julius" #418 (1:01)
9. "Dateline" (1:06)
10. "Baseball Game Beer Guy (3:42)
11. "Sherbert" (0:47)
12. "Collage #0" (2:07)
13. "Orange Julius" #419 (0:27)
14. "Mallards" (1:39)
15. "Free Manure" (1:19)
16. "Owls" (1:58)
17. "Snow Flake Cleaners" (0:36)
18. "Virtual Balboa" (1:06)
19. "Selena" (1:31)
20. "Gymnastic Lady" (1:18)
21. "Orange Julius #420" (0:35)
22. "Metal Interlude (Missing)" (2:15)
23. "Limes"/"Super Nintendo" (hidden track) (29:17)

Disc 6: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 5

1. "Loud Tones"
2. "UPS Freakout 1"
3. "Spencer Zebra"
4. "Aqualamb"
5. "Helium Socket"
6. "Hop Sing"
7. "Chowder Julius"
8. "Election Blues"
9. "Boats"
10. "Fennel Cartwright"
11. "Neighborhood Bar"
12. "Chinese Bowling Balls"
13. "Delmo"
14. "Chimp Giraffe Loop"
15. "Internal Metalude"
16. "Wovenloaf"
17. "Pill Salesman"
18. "Sausage Lady"
19. "Twist & Shout"
20. "Tommy Vee"
21. "Squid Sandwich"
22. "UPS Freakout 2"
23. "Kemosabe"
24. "3-Way Mayhem"
25. "All Caps"

Disc 7: Longmont Potion Castle Volume 7

1. "Untitled 1 (2006)" (2:43)
2. "Untitled 2 (2006)" (4:23)
3. "Internal Metalude" (3:05)
4. "Metal Interlude #0" (2:28)
5. "Metal Interlude #0.5" (2:29)
6. "Metal Interlude (Missing)" (3:14)
7. "Metal Interlude 5" (2:21)
8. "Theme From Live From LPC" (1:10)
9. "Untitled 1 (LPC3)" (2:19)
10. "Untitled 2 (LPC3)" (4:50)

Disc 8: Live From LPC/Return to LPC DVD

References

External links

• Longmont Potion Castle's official page
• Mark Prindle interview around the release date of Volume 4